Calm Your Tits! Seriously...

Ok so I need to get this out because somebody out in the interweb of haterland let their cheese slide off their cracker. I came across a post that I initially just gazed and scrolled and immediately had to take a double take and scroll back.

Reasons why small boobs are better than big boobs

Insult me all you want but when you start talkin about the girls, the Rottweilers with no names, the tata’s, the balls that are bigger than guy’s balls then you’ve just insulted my soul. I was ready to tear this stupid post apart! But honestly their arguments had no meat to it. (pun intended)

Their supposed reasons to shame the chests that hold the power to the universe included remarks like:

·       You can wear different bras – obviously notating the lack of variety that tends to be in larger sizes (who would have thought about that). My solution is stop trying to find bras at Wal-Mart. Victoria Secret doesn’t carry my bra size but I invest my hard working money into wonderful, quality, beautiful, patterned, solid, nude, lacy and racy bras from Lane Bryant and am really wanting to try the bras at Torrid.

·      Popping out- busty girls like myself always get this. Because some of us are more endowed than others, we automatically become unclassy, unprofessional and/or cheap when it comes to rocking a low cut anything. And then there are times where it’s not low cut and they can still runneth over, but most times that’s not the plan.  All I can say is that if I want you to see them, then you’ll see them. That doesn’t make me ‘whorrable’, it’s confidence.

·       Perky – noting that gravity is terrible and causes a lot of changes to take place throughout life. But here’s the kicker about this guys. Over time, we become older and all of us tends to sag in places we don’t want them too. (and if you didn’t read this with sarcasm, take a second and reread it please) It’s about health. If you take care of your ta ta’s when you’re younger along with the rest of yourself, then you’ll be just fine. My grandmothers are in their seventies and saggy girls are not an option.

·         Man attention – the particular caption was in reference to the distracting nature of the glorious beasts and the effects they can have on the opposite sex. But trying to say that I can never get a guy to make eye contact with me because he’s looking at my chest is like saying that a movie is better than the book it was based off of. Sometimes they stare yes, and sometimes they don’t. But last I checked, for those who stared, it was because you have breasts and carry two X chromosomes. I won’t lie to you and say that bigger boobs won’t get more attention, but another way to see it is that you gots da power! Over yourself, over that particular situation, over whether to get offended or to turn the tables in your favor.

·         Hard Life – throwing in struggles about back problems, the horrors of sports bras. And unfortunately yes there are women everywhere who struggle with their chest area. Some can afford to change that and some just make it with the hand they’re dealt. Sports bras are necessary for workouts or really anywhere that the dogs gotta be tied down. I don’t know of any woman with big or small titties that works out without one. There is a place and time to be wild and free, and the gym is not one of those times.

I got through the entire post with a giant ? on top of my head. Big boobs aren’t a death sentence and neither are small boobs. People with boobs have these problems regardless of size. So I really don’t know if maybe some sights are just really struggling for something to grab attention or what, but really internet, be original. If you want to bring the busty chests down to bring the small boobies up, don’t because they’re equal in the amount of pros and cons. There are people with bulldogs who’d rather have Chihuahuas and vise versa. I, myself, have always loved my bust. I weep for the breast cancer survivors because I can’t imagine my life without my chest and they do it every single day. I tip my hat and heart to them and to this dumb post, I can’t even bring myself to post the link, because obviously whoever is writing for you has some self-confidence issues. Put on some Demi with her Confident song and get over it and love what your mama gave ya.