Friday, March 15, 2019

Hello, I'm Shrill Too

So Shrill has hit the Hulu and I had no idea. I was on the Instagram as one does after the Grampocalypse that, at least was, for me, just slightly annoying but some people really lost they shiz. But one of the peeps I follow, Marge Hudson aka @areyoutheregoditsmemarge, opened my eyes to what is happening on the interwebs and I had to be apart of it.

Thankfully, I have a day off of work and was planning on totally and completely taking advantage of it. So I had to see what was going and oh my sweet eleven pound baby Jesus, this was phenomenal! The main character is Annie, Aidy Bryant, and she is the me and the many others who have gone through anything similar who doesn't fit in a sample size. It was shocking and beautifully done. I also want so much to have a Fran, Lolly Adefope, in my life just FYI. 

From episode one, the story is on the move and things are moving very quickly. But I could relate to this show if you haven't figured that out. Now, I don't know if her wardrobe was modestly chosen on purpose because she likes it but feels the need to 'cover up' or what. I just watched the season and here I am so don't @ me. However comma, I felt it because I know in high school, I drove my bff and my mom crazy because my standard wardrobe were jeans and a t-shirt of darker tones. I upped my makeup and accessory game where I could but always double guessing affections from the opposite sex. I mean, hell, who hasn't been called a flipper when your supposedly bisexual boyfriend cheats on you with a guy friend? (For the record, I was the last girl he had as a girlfriend and there's no confusion about the intentions in hindsight and in true Ariana fashion, I'm thankful for him because I now have my ride or die, my person, my best friend for life who is also his ex.) 

I've had the thoughts where I've thought that a going-on-the-back-door-better-than-nothing feeling was as good as it was going to get. And the mental change that Annie has starts to resonate as the season goes on and that is something that some people have at different times in life and if someone hasn't, I have a feeling that it will help someone get to that point to where they can start loving themselves and stop apologizing for taking space in the world.

Even now with my new position, I'm again the biggest person in the building of about a dozen-ish and while it's not intentional most of the time, it's noticed that one does not belong or one does not mesh. Even our personalities are quite a bit different and I've seen clients do a double take for crying out loud. 

So it's there, it's not just a show catering to the plus sized community about empowerment but it's also shows the ugly parts that come with it. It happens and people on the internet are cruel but confronting enemies in person, you find how much they hate themselves because you don't have to hate you and they can't handle it. Let that sink in, they, who hate you, can't handle you loving yourself because the standards of the world have always said that you shouldn't, so they don't. Can it still hurt? Abso-f*cking-lutely. Can it suck that your crush in school calls you a hog to your face and your choice is to cry or pull it together and attack verbally because you are not about to be suspended? Hell to the yea. But here we are, being represented anyway on the internet in a show that will definitely take off because in case you haven't been bombarded, the average size of a woman in the US is 14 or 16, can't remember at the moment but it's not a 2. There are more of us than they know what to do with so someone has decided that if you can't beat them, because let's be honest they can't keep us down if they tried, join them and realize that we are human and we are not going away. We are gorgeous. We are fashionable and stylish. We can and deserved to be loved for who we are regardless of our size. We will stand and bring each other up more than those who are determined to bring us down. 

So I will add that this to a couple other faves in my book that remind me that I'm here and need to live my best life with the good and bad because it's all I got:

Also a book - Just saying...

Gumption - nuff said

And it's a book. You can bet your butt I'm buying and reading!

Also thank you Marge, I sent you a DM about it, but I wanted to do it again because I've also not posted on my blog since, like, August and my first thought was to do this. I'm going to ride this euphoria as long as I can. Until I can get more up, look at some of my older stuff.

B3 is my motto -

Follow me on Blogloving if you wanna -
on the Insta since it's back up -

Saturday, August 11, 2018

Monthly Mess of Goals

Talk about a month just flying by. So if you hadn’t read about June, check that out here and it’ll fill you in on how I decided to go with this type of posting. Even I had to check it back out to see what I had and see how I did.

For my June goals, the plan was (in short):
·         Read 2 book
·         Meal plan 2 weeks
·         Clean out winter clothes
·         Change my sheets every week
·         Get my laundry under control

Seems reasonable and doable, so looking back at my progress…
·         Read 1 ½ books, left a book I was reading at home when I had to go visit the parentals and this one wasn’t on my kindle. (go Figure)
·         I successfully planned out 1 week at a time and it was only lunches – to the peeps who can do all your meals for weeks on end, you are the real MVP because it’s hard, it’s tedious, and I don’t even like telling myself what to do and even less what to eat.
·         Full Success! – Gold star for me. It’s been well into the 90-100s weather wise in the good ol’ New Mexico area, literally going through a cold front right now and it brough the expected high down from 106 to  mid 90s.No risk of needing winter clothes. At. All
·         I can say that I, honestly, had this about 50% of the time. It’s still been really hectic and I feel that my house is still fairly imploded but we’re working on it.
·         Laundry is better controlled. It was just dirty laundry that was everywhere. And Now it’s clean laundry. Most of it is folded and just needing to be evaluated and put away. That part feels pretty good.

Now for July, I did have to make some adjustments. Got a new position and my morning commute to work has gone from 2-3 minutes (less than a mile) to 30 minutes (about 17-20 miles). Organization and time management are going to be key in this transition, I’m a little late getting this going as well so here it goes.

·         Read 2 books – and no my half one doesn’t count
·         Plan out my lunches and snacks weekly
·         Changing sheets every week

Coming out of July, we're making progress. 1 3/4 books not counting my half one but I'm almost done with it. Lunch and snacks are getting easier than dinner for sure. And fresh sheets are on point.

Thank you Google and your searching wisdom...

Since everything was kinda thrown there in June and July, we're going to throw in August to because here we right now.


Tuesday, June 12, 2018

June Living Goals

Over time I’ve read many a blog and one thing that didn’t make sense to me was posting about their goals. Mostly blog progress goals and while it’s great to have aspirations, for me they didn’t quite work because I’m not a full time blogger and I’m still working on consistency (it's going slower than molasses on Christmas Eve but it's going). So if anything, that’d be my goal in general. But then I came across It Starts With Coffee. It's run by Neely and she had goals that she wanted to do personally to get her through the month and that just clicked with me on so many levels, it wasn't even funny. So Neely if you only read up to this point, keep going girl. I will definitely be reading.

I've started a journey with my health to do better and be better. And now that I’m making progress, I don’t want to lose sight of what I’m working towards. But I’m also afraid of constantly living in survival mode and not actually living life. So to start a few things off with inspiration from Neely, I present my monthly Living Goals.

Me Working on Being Triumphant lol

1.     Read 2 books – I read 2 books the month before last by accident so I wanna see if I can do it intentionally. I’m a bit of a slower reader because either I’m only reading and nothing exists or I’m barely able to get a few pages in. There's no in between....and there should be....unless I'm reading Game of Thrones. (It's just so slow and I've been stuck on book 2 for at least a year) I also need some time away from screens. 

2.     Make a meal plan for at least two weeks – food that is good for you will always go bad faster and it pisses me off as well as my bank account to waste food and money. And honestly, I've been wasting food and money so I need to do this now because I literally have the baaaaaaaaaaaaaare minimum in my fridge. No bueno

3.     Clear out winter clothes – The weather forecast is showing the highs in the upper 90-100s out here in New Mexico. However comma, sometimes the mornings are still a tad chilly and the never ending wind can get cold too. But it's safe to say that the heavy coats and sweaters gotta go and space is needed for alllll the dresses.

4.      Change sheets every week – I'll admit it....I got lazy and now I’m breaking out. Besides who doesn’t love the feeling of fresh sheets? It's leg shaving season and the fresh sheets-fresh shaven leg feeling is so happening and it's going to be glorious!

5.      Get my laundry under control – I have a lot of clothes period. So laundry day is more like laundry week and more so when I have sheets and towels to work out as well. But I have a horrible habit of folding and leaving my piles on top of my washer and dryer…That’s gotta stop.

And we'll start here for the month and see where we go. What progress do you want to have in your life this month?

In the meantime, show a girl some love on the Bloglovin...

Or check out some of my other posts....

Living alone - Pros -

Living alone plans -

Succesful Adult Win -

Friday, April 27, 2018

Successful Adulting - aka I Did It Right!

There was a moment. Picture it.

Easter weekend. Cozy clothes have been packed to enjoy a quick joint birthday get together with the familia. We started out well. Food was gathered for a BBQ because duh and twas just good chill times. UNTIL I needed to get my brother's birthday gift out of the car....Where in the inner layers of hell are my car keys?????

They are in the middle console cup holder inside my locked doors.....

Now let me give you a quick run down about my car. Yes, it's basically a full size sedan because I'm tall, fluffy, and I need my space. It's fairly recently age-wise so it's got electric locks, bluetooth, no trunk key, a keyless pad, etc. So where I could jimmy my '93 lil car in high school when I locked myself out with a wire hanger, this was nowhere near doable....I also bought the new car used. So new to me but I bought it used and the car was what I wanted but the buying experience will forever scar me. From that horrible buying experience, I never got the correct keyless code to open the no key and no keyless entry and my spares are back home 2 hours away (over 100 miles if ya don't measure distance in drive time)

So I had to call a locksmith. I know a service called AAA is really popular but I honestly don't think it's in my part of the state....or the country....yea. Anyways I don't have that or anything similar....Here I was at my parents house on Easter Sunday and had to call a locksmith via tow company to come and help me get into my car....for the cost of $80 cash.

I learned in college to find them because I had locked my keys in a couple times, including while the vehicle was running...yes, I was this person. And it was discouraging and inconvenient but I was thrilled to just be able to pay for it.

I've really had to do A TON of re-budgeting to compensate for my medical needs and really making the attempt to be healthier and part of that was to start a savings. Now it's small and it's taken me some time to get my little savings to where it was but thanks to online banking I could make a transfer and made a trip to the ATM to withdraw what I needed. 

If this was me a year ago I would not be able to do this. Honest to God I would probably have to beg, plead, bargain, swallow my pride and ask my parents to borrow funds to do what really should have been up to me. (Not that they'd mind, but it bugs me that they shouldn't need to help me so much now)

I just turned 28 and more often than not I'm telling myself that I need to get my sh!t together. It just lets me know that I am on the right path and it reminded me that when I first started to toy with blogging, I tried to get a series going call Operation Ducks in a Row. It was supposed to be a way to help hold myself accountable to do better...yea.... I really lost sight of that but today really brought that back. So who knows...maybe something else rose this weekend? I'll keep you updated on it and until then...I hope you had a great Easter weekend and we'll chat next time.

Check out some of my other posts

Hair of Lusciousness -

6 Tips When Sick -

My Best of 2017 -

Show a girl some love on Bloglovin

Thursday, March 22, 2018

6 Tips When Your An Incubus of Viral Plague

First off, major kudos to you if you caught the reference in the title. But in case you haven't heard or experienced there's two strains of the flu going around among other annoying infections of the sort. As I'm writing, I've called into work because my compromised immune system is now battling an actual disease. Thankfully, don't think it's the flu, but I won't go into the gross details but I figured, since we're here. Let's make it not gloomy and depressing as possible.

I know this is easier said than done. 

So here's some nice pick me ups that have worked for me and that I even need to work on to get through this round of viral plague.

1. Soup - first and foremost you need something in your system to help it along and if you can't keep it down at least it's there to keep you from dry heaving. I don't care what anyone says, dry heaving when you have nothing to vomit is the worst bodily experience. So if you don't have a recipe or roommates or someone to make you any, always keep a few in the pantry.

2. Water - room temp is the best - I'll admit that I'm bad at this normally but I'm trying to pick it up today while I'm constantly losing moisture. Don't go ham because it's heavy and it'll definitely revolt but keep sipping.

3. Tea - now if you've read back a ways to my remedies - there's no tea shortage at my house. Chamomile is my go-to but I'm currently babying a lemon ginger tea. It's definitely different but it's hopefully doing it's thing.

4. Feel good movies - When I'm sick, I tend to abandon my strong independent senses and become a whiny mess. I hate sitting in miserable silence so on goes the movies. Personal favorites: The Holiday, Phat Girlz, and Disney movies of course...right now of course it the live action Beauty and the Beast on the Netflix. Because who doesn't need the Beast singing in their life? I can't tell you how many times I've listened to Evermore. (also if you need a good cry during said movies, just let it out)

5. Rest - I'm terrible about napping but it's really not good to be stuck on the phone all day or in this case on the computer and it's definitely something to work on because let me tell you I. AM. DRAINED.

6. Pj's - Being sick is already uncomfortable and you aren't going anywhere. So whether it's your old college sweats and a t-shirt or some actual pj's do what feels right and add some fuzzy socks to the feet that you've already lathered some Vicks on.

What I forget, still, is to listen to my body and I'm sure others do the same. I've already felt guilty this past weekend because I didn't do much of anything. But my body has. So in the name of the better you this year (yes I'm also kinda saying this to myself), let your body heal! I've already made a deal so that if my symptoms don't get better I'll call the Dr asap. ***update - I went to the doctor and definitely not the flu, bad stomach bug***

How are you feeling? What do you do when you're sick?

Need a little something something else to read?

Best of 2017 -
Blue Mascaras -
Bra Talk -

(Lol I promise - I didn't plan on all of those starting with a B)

Friday, February 9, 2018

Luscious Hair is Back!

Hello all. Allow me to introduce you to my soap box. It's no podium nor pedastal but it allows me to take that step up and project all the feels on a proper stage. It's not all bad or ranty I promise but sometimes there's a point that needs to be made and here's mine for today...


Yes. Simply thank you to the internet. It's been almost a year since I was diagnosed with Lupus. My medications are doing their things but what I wanted to thank the internet for helping me regrow my hair. One of the biggest symptoms I had was hair loss. I trimmed my hair to help with the thinning and essentially just had to be patient. Thus came the internet and research. Between straight up Googling, Youtube vloggers and the Blogosphere, I was able to find the help to get my hair back.


 I'd gone to a couple hair salons in the last year. When I trimmed my hair before I was diagnosed, I told the girl I had started going to that I wasn't sure what was happening. She tried to say that she didn't really see the difference and that was that. After I came back from the edge I really noticed how much hair I lost and tried to get some kind of shaping done so that way I didn't really look like a sick person who lost a lot of hair, especially at work. I had one really overpriced trim and recently a better trim by two different hair stylists.... ladie....., people who cut and handle hair for a living and I asked them about what they would recommend for volume, hair growth, hair health, etc and literally had a deer in the headlights expression from both.
First came back to work with the least amount of hair (before)

Almost 8 months later (after) Still a ways to go but it's a bit fuller now

And honestly, it's disheartening because I'm not going to this professional to get my hair done for prom or to drop some dollars for highlights or extensions, I am actually wanting help with my hair. With both trips I explained, I got really sick and lost a lot of hair, how can I help it and how can I maintain the hair I have? I guess I expected to find a great person who was like Queen Latifah in Beauty Shop where she's suggesting vitamins, products, advise....yes I know it's a movie. But I would think that when you work in the industry, you'd have an idea or even a direction to go in.

Gotta love that wood pannel right?

The only person who actually physically, in person, gave me some help was actually my mom's coworker. Love her and her concern. She found the dermachange shampoo and conditioner that I've been using and so far it's been great and I've noticed a difference. It's gentle and cleansing and leaves my hair feeling soft and smooth instead of straw.

So thank you internet, and thank you people on the internet who led me to castor oil, biotin, and other products that have helped me regrow my hair and now I feel that my hair is full again. It's still short but an even short. A full short and now I can really say that I feel a bit more like me.

On the other hand, if you have any other suggestions for hair health...
let a girl know on the hurry up side please!!!!

Check out some of my other posts...

My best of 2017 -
Smell Good Stuff -
Boyfriend Valentine Gift Ideas -

Saturday, January 13, 2018

Best of 2017 - I Lived

2017 has been the complete definition of a roller coaster. Not just the ups and downs but the kinds that go underground. That's truly been my year. The New Year started and I couldn't walk without help. I spent a couple weeks in the hospital before I could get some actual answers. I went back to work part time and then finally full time and now here we are at the end of the year and not to be super corny but someone needs to play Martina McBride because I have been blessed. I still have bad days and I know that they'll happen so I've really tried having a good outlook and working on a lifestyle change and these things have helped me make it through this year.

Victoria's Secret Body Butter - after having shingles when I came back to work, it was a process to get through. So afterwards, I had and still have a big patch of now scarred and dry skin. This helps. So to my little brother who has no shame in going to any store, thank you for this because Lawd knows I don't shop at Victoria's Secret.

Quality vs Quantity - a concept that seems very common sense but now is making more sense. (who knew?) But coming back to the home I'm renting rather than my parent's home really made me realize that I have way too much shi!t. I knew I had a lot of stuff but now I see it as sh!t that is not going to help me and I can't keep up with it anymore. I can't defend it anymore. I'm not in college anymore so I don't need $2 flats or a ton of cheap sheets or bad makeup that will last for a month or two... I need something that will last a while and if that means seriously saving and investing in good quality insert blank, then that's what I need to do.

Bath and Body Works Sugar Scrub - I know that VS and BBW are owned by the same peeps but I would rather go to the B.B.Dubs any time and even more so when my girl, Vero, is working. She keeps me in the loop and it really helps that she's knowledgeable about the products other than just the scent and the packaging. Also getting rid of the dead skin is a big plus.

Water - ask anyone that knows me, I hate drinking water!!! My boyfriend was a camel in a previous life because he can literally slam almost a liter of water first thing in the morning. He's always on me about drinking more water and I thank him for it almost as much as I give him the 'eye'. Ladies, you know the one. So even though I hate it, I do whatever I can to make me drink more water which has done wonders for my water bottle collection. My body needs it, especially my kidneys, and the rest will follow.

My Backpacks - My medical one and my new-ish love - I had a post a while back in my Tale of the Tank series about my backpack. Read it. I treat my purses as artillery and they have to hold up. In my Tale of the Tank I had this backpack that helped me so much especially when I was still on a walker and a cane and now I have this gorgeous bag from Betsy Johnson that looks small but has so much space to still be a tank.

Self-care - I'm not a consistent blogger, that's obvious. I'm also not a consistent self-care advocate unless it has to do with sleep because if anything I know I need sleep and actual rest is a must or else. But in real ways. I have done a few baths but can't really do bath bombs and my tub is hella narrow so it's not the most comfortable but I'll do a great smelling candle and a face mask. I've learned that epsom salt can be great for inflammation and if I can lay off pain meds with a salt soak be it my feet or my entire body, then I'll do it. I don't mind medication but I'm definitely not opposed to finding other alternatives. Other alternatives also include food. I'm a tried and true New Mexican. I grew up on rice, beans, Allsups burritos and hotlinks and pretty much anything fried and covered in chile (not chili) and cheese. I can't do that anymore so I'm trying newer and healthier options to care for the body I have now or I won't make it physically or mentally.

What has gotten you through this entire year? Please let me know, I'm all for suggestions :)

In the mean time, check out some of my other posts...
The Blues of My Life -
Bra Talk -
Office Decor -