Setting the Tone for 2020

As I write this at the end of January, I find myself reflecting on this trial run of a month because where January usually lasts roughly three years, for me it flew and I'm trying to decide if that was a good thing or not. See I spent a good portion of the month running around helping out some family that had been in the hospital and then a rehab hospital afterwards. Thankfully everything turned out well and I had some time to do what I procrastinate to do which is clean out my email.

Way way way back in the day I wrote a post on cleaning up my email from coupons and offers in an effort to not go overboard on the spending, especially with store credit cards. I'm also pretty sure that was the last time I had a good clean up on it. But while going through and unsubscribing and things, I found out that I had Torrid cash to use. 

Now I usually have to order online but the city I was in, steadily getting a bit of cabin fever, there was a store I could go into. So while someone went off to therapy, I took it upon myself to get some therapy of my own. Low and behold there was also a massive sale on clearance which happened to include workwear. If you are of the curvy and/or plus size variety, you know that: 1. It's hell to find good office wear; 2., It's expensive as hell; And 3., it NEVER goes on sale. So I was on it!

I found a few great pieces for work and a BEAUTIFUL coat that was well over $130 but good old clearance sale had my back and I was able to get it for about $30. The blazers being on trend were a divine intervention because mine never quite fit right and the one good one I have needs to be dry cleaned where these are machine washable and look fantastic even when I'm not wearing a "good bra" and that says something. 

Even more so, the store associates were wonderful. I had questions on the regular sale, the clearance sale, the when-are-swimsuits-coming-in questions. I talked to a different person each time and they were not only helpful, they were super nice about it. That's not always the case for me at Torrid. I have a draft from a while back talking about how I don't get to shop in store that much but when I do, the experience is horrible and I stick to online. Around that time I'd been to 4 stores in three states when I was travelling and my memory is when I stopped an associate to ask a question, she looked at me as though I killed her dog. I dropped my stuff and left. 

So having this great experience made me want to hug these people and thank them for really just being nice especially when they weren't aware about being interrupted by hospital staff at all hours of the night and day. It renewed my faith in especially the plus size community because out here in rural communities, you have a small town, small mind mentality a lot of the time and I hope to encounter more of this wonderfulness this year as I make some decisions for the year, so stay tuned for that. 

Have you had an instance like this? Good or bad? Tell me because I want to know. 

Check out some of my other posts...

 My Medical Guides - 1 ~ http://bit.ly/DrRxtips1  and 2. ~ http://bit.ly/Med2appt

Good Reads and the Like ~ http://bit.ly/Yareads22

Hello I'm Shrill Too ~ http://bit.ly/ShrillToo

Give a girl a follow on the Instagram

http://bit.ly/MyIgJazz

and on Bloglovin

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The Full Figure Picture Still Going Forward

http://weartv.com/news/local/local-boutique-saves-the-day-after-a-teen-is-fat-shamed

I came across ^^^ this article ^^^ on the facebook of a friend. I've never been to Florida or even heard of this store but this story really hit me in the feels.

Mother and daughter go to find a dress for Homecoming and the sales rep gives her the signature up and down look at her daughter and shuts her down. It may not have been a harsh as Regina George getting told to go to Sears after not fitting in a size 5, but trust me when I tell you that it feels like that and about 99 times worse. After getting nowhere with corporate, a boutique was able to find a fabulous solution.

Now Grace Tennyson, the author of the article, mentions that Megan regular wore junior size clothing in that store. In my mind, there really shouldn't have been an issue at a department store but in this case it was and Megan was shut down completely and publicly.

I remember having this moment in high school trying to find a dress for Homecoming my Senior Year. I was nominated for Homecoming Queen and so proper formal attire was required. Nothing made me more nervous because at that time there wasn't a store that carried plus size formal wear that I could afford. I could have tried the prom store but I wasn't about to ask my parents to fork over $400 for a dress that I couldn't try on and that option was more than likely plain black....Hell, I didn't even buy either of my prom dresses at the prom store, and online shopping wasn't an option with dial up.

Forgive the picture - It's the only one I have that's mainly full length and pretty sure it was taken on a 35mm film camera and I needed to hide my cousin for obvious reasons. But you get the point...

I was plus size then, and now, but I was also taller than the average girl so I already knew trying to find something floor length would also be slim to none. After driving 4 hours away to the city, I could only find one dress that was semi appropriate, though my dad hated it, and it required some adjustments on my body's part, the shapewear and the strategies to keep the gorgeous fishtail front from riding up too high when I walked. And I don't recall being helped by an associate at all. Not when I was grabbing the displays off the walls to check at the tags to pray that there was an XL. Not when my mom had multiple dresses thrown over her shoulder while I changed in the dressing room hating life because it was too short off the floor or too short and close to the lady bits or cut just low enough that the school would complain about my chest making a bigger appearance than me.

To be honest, I got lucky. I wasn't the only plus sized nominee that year and we all had the same problem whether we admit it or not. Now did we make it work? Of course because we do that and are used to it. I loved the dress and enjoyed the day. Have I worn it since? absolutely not. Just like my high school graduation dress which was also a bit too short and too low cut for a sundress and my prom dress was about 4 inches off the ground that I was able to buy off of a friend of the family who wore it as a bridesmaid dress. We made due with what we had.

Granted, Tennyson doesn't mention how much the dress was before or after the fitting but the important part is that someone cared enough to make this young lady feel special and beautiful whether she is considered a straight size or plus size. High school is hell enough whether we know it during or realize it years after. So for this owner, I tip my metaphorical hat and give you much applause because there's a lot of us women now, who weren't able to have that option then and those who still don't now. And yet, you made the effort to show that this girl should most definitely feel like a million bucks and the pictures in the article show her believing that she is worth the million bucks.

“I think that everyone is beautiful and should feel that way.” - Deborah West, owner of the boutique

It goes to show that there is progress out there. It still seems slower than molasses on a white Christmas morning most times, but it's still progress. Stories like this are the shining light of hope. We, as curvy or plus or full figured or the B3s, have some more options now that weren't there before and I know that it will grow even more so that less people, girls and boys and everyone in between, don't have moments like so many of us, including Megan, had. I hope that she went to Homecoming and rocked the ever living Hell out of that dress with the gusto that comes with feeling like a rock star.






If you'd like to check out some of my other posts, here's a few topics I cover that you can always find on Bloglovin:

http://bit.ly/MyBloglovinPg


Posts like this:

Operation Ducks in a Row - Relationships and Life - http://bit.ly/10GTWODIAR

Tag! How much is my face worth? - http://bit.ly/MyFaceis

10 Pokewalk Essentials (because I'm a nerd like that :] ) - http://bit.ly/10PokeWalk

Tales of the Tank (aka my Purse) My 50 Cal Clutch - http://bit.ly/TOTT50Cal

This Girl's New Best Lash Friend

If you read my post on 10 Products Every Grown Woman Needs, then consider this a follow up slash extension. I wrote briefly on one product that is my overall go to, mascara. But I didn’t quite elaborate enough on the why and what I use, so here we are.

Now I have a fairly decent amount of lashes and they are a good length as well, thank you Dad. If I could wear only one makeup product, it would be mascara. Now granted I hated it as a kid who was dipped in makeup for dance recitals, but alas I was young and knew not the amazingness that lies in the power of eyes.

I don’t consider myself a beauty guru by far but I’ve tried a lot of products to get what I’m looking for and I know what works for me and my issues. And for mascara they are:

1.       Is it waterproof like my Voluminous mascara from L'Oreal?

2.       Does it do a better job than my favorite Maybelline Great Lash Mascara in Royal Blue?

So my thing is that my skin is not just oily but it also gets to my eyelashes in some ways. Like I mentioned, my lashes are decently long on top and bottom. If I’m wearing a black mascara, more often than not it absolutely has to be waterproof because somehow, if it’s not, then it’s instant rabid raccoon eyes. I’ve been wearing the Royal Blue Great Lash since I was allowed to wear makeup and never had that issue. Is it the formula? Who knows, but my blue lashes have been a signature of the women of my family for a while.

My second go-to is the L'Oreal Voluminous Mascara. A great friend of mine turned me to it in high school and I’ve never looked back. Besides the fact that the formula that can’t come off without an act of Congress, I love the separation it gives my eye lashes. Call it my Hispanic culture, but no one has time for clumpyness. So yes, I have been that stereotypical chick separating her eye lashes with straight pins, pencil lead, etc. Never have to do that with Voluminous mascara.

With these, I’ve never really had a want to dabble into other brands. I’ve tried a couple drug store brands but not so much on the higher end other than samples from Sephora or Birchbox, that is until now. I can say that I am so hooked on Benefit’s Roller Lash. A couple YouTube peoples I follow have talked about it and I understand that you basically either love it or hate it. I love it! I love it! And did I mention that I absolutely LOVE IT!

Now this is only a mini version that I got at Ulta for maybe ten bucks, I had a coupon and redeemable points so I couldn’t tell you exactly how much it was. But because I didn’t know if I would love it or hate it, I just said to be safe and get the mini and I’ll probably be getting the full size very soon and add it to my go to’s, especially if I'm running late, then it goes here.

I can only describe it as a great mesh between my staple mascaras, because my Maybelline formula lets me wear a cool color mascara without the black eyes later in the day or in the morning. As far as I can tell, the Roller Lash is not waterproof but it does have some epic staying power even for my oily issues. The brush isn’t as ‘brushy’, best I can come up with, like the voluminous but the lift and separating power is phenomenal!

So if you are on the fence about finding your go to mascara, give the mini Roller Lash a try from Ulta and that way, you can try it guiltlessly and if it works, come to the lashy side. I’m sure we’ll have cookies.


Read up on previous posts

Tales of the Tank - External Batteries

*I read this little article from the Huffington Post the other day about beauty products that every grown woman should have. Going through it, I can agree with most of them. They are pretty vague and basic, and sometimes we need simple and basic, but I think we can also just up it just a tad. So I want to go through Dana Oliver’s list with my two cents and you can take what you will and add your opinion in the comments.

1. Red Lipstick – Every grown woman needs some shade of red lipstick, or lippie as the new lingo goes. If you haven’t heard of the Lipstick Index or the Lipstick Effect, Google it and learn you some because this makes sense in an odd way. Red lipstick is always seen as a classic staple in makeup and has withstood the test of time. So what is noticed is that when financial times, like the stock market or the economy in general, is down or even in great or great tragic events, then the sales of lipstick, particularly in red, skyrocket. They saw it during the Great Depression, after 9/11, and the recession beginnings of 2008. This I totally agree with because anyone can stick with a standard drug store red and look like a million bucks without breaking the budget or have your designer but still not have to worry as much as say the purse or shoes from said designer. But I’d say the more modern way to go is the liquid lipstick or a pigmented lip balm. For people like me who lick their lips too much, it’s just important to know what works for you.

2-5. Facial Cleanser, Moisturizer, Concealer, Eye cream – I don’t know of any woman or girl for that matter who didn’t have issues when puberty hit. In my case, I had and still have extremely oily and crazy sensitive skin. During puberty, I think there was a bidding war between countries to see who’d place ‘dibbs’ on my face. Now, I have the acne scars and the pores remaining from those tough times and still have oily skin. But I do know how to combat them. Part of it is a great cleanser but I think more of it is finding out how your skin reacts to certain cleansers and the chemicals in these kinds of products. Long story short –LOOK AT THE INGREDIENTS!! It doesn’t matter the reviews on a product, if there is oil or certain acids, I put it down and back away. And if times are tough, look into some at home remedies, like warm tea bags (I prefer chamomile or green) over the eyes to help with puffiness or my newer love with le Eye Panda. Pinterest is amazing that way.  

6. Hair Dryer- Now this can go either way depending on how many of you rely on blow drying your hair. I can’t complain when I say that getting the right amount of volume is nice and I agree with Dana when saying a few extra bucks for quality is worth it, but I also know that my $20 Conair hair dryer has lasted about 7 years going over my hair that has ranged in length from above shoulder length, to the middle of my back. So if I am to take or leave this one, I’d probably leave it.

7. Sunscreen – this is not new because Dana is absolutely right when she quote Kerry Washington who said that there’s no excuse to not wear sunscreen daily, even in winter. If your foundation, BB cream, CC cream, etc doesn’t show SPF, then it has no business on your face.

8. Fragrance – Now the post says that they don’t believe that you “need” a signature scent but I beg to differ. Scent is the strongest sense tied to memory. Now do you need to douse yourself every day? No and please don’t, because you’ll stop smelling it on yourself and everyone will smell too much. Mix it up every now and then but having that staple can and will make you memorable in a good way if you do it right. That’s why even now into my mid twenties, I have a mix of great perfume and body spray.

9. Top coat nail polish – ok I wasn’t even allowed to wear nail polish until maybe 9^th grade, the Quinceaῆera milestone, aka Sweet 15, in the Hispanic community is very much strong in my family. But even then I knew if you didn’t have a base and topcoat, then forget about keeping that mani. So I’d leave that off of the ‘woman list’ since that should be learned at a younger age.

10. Mascara- I left this one for last because the sad little single sentence does NOT do this product justice. I love mascara. If I could only wear one thing, it’s mascara. “The eyes are the window to the soul.” Your lashes can be accentuated, appear longer, fuller, and act as an accent without taking the importance away from the eyes. No offense to the false lashes, even I’ll wear them occasionally, but when you find your soul mascara, then you are on top of the world in my opinion. I've got my go-to's and some new loves here if you wanna look that way.


Here's the article btw

Tales of the Tank - Makeup

As much as we try not to rush around in the morning, we have those times where we wake up and realize that you have about thirty minutes to get up, wash up, get dressed and get to work on time. Let’s be honest, it happens. To some people, more often than they care to admit. You can ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you about my Tank. I have tanks for purses. They aren’t huge tote bags, although my mom says that it should be. I’ve also heard all the “you’re going to hurt your back, shoulders, etc with the size and weight of your purse.” Tell that to the publishers who make $300 text books.

Any-who,

I have a system and it works for me for just about any situation. And for the occasional late-waking-up-day and frantically flying to work, I have found that sometimes it’s just easier to get ready and bring my makeup with me to do at work. (read about that here). I know some don’t approve but I am also a person who wears makeup every day and don’t feel like I’m properly dressed for my professional setting without my makeup. I was also not blessed with great skin, so there’s that too. It’s just one of those things.

Anyways, I have this cute little bag that lives in my tank and has saved me many a time whether it be at work, or just out. And it has been the best little makeup carrier ever and the best part was it was about five dollars at Big Lots.

The top zipper lets me stock it with a couple eye liners, brushes, and bobby pins. Easy to see and easy access. The bag zipper holds my face powder, oil blotting sheets, lip balms, lip butters, mascaras, the occasional hair ties, and of course a compact mirror. On a trip, I’ll pack in my Naked Basics eye shadows and Flushed pallet and it all fits! Throw in my purse and I am set for the day. It doesn’t take up a lot of space in my bag and touch ups throughout the day are conquered.

I love finding great finds on the cheap. Of course what woman doesn’t love sales and when you have something that works, you stick to it like waterproof mascara. High quality and top dollar aren’t always together, sometimes you just find the best things at Big Lots on a Sunday afternoon after eating breakfast with family at Ihop. Sometimes the good Lord just knows that you need something awesome in your life and like my mom says, “there are too few joys in life.” Can I get an amen?

Some days, we just need a little extra help and this is where the purse comes in. I can understand using a clutch for an event, but how you get anything done anywhere in those teeny tiny coin purses is beyond me. Especially when I got my kindle for my birthday a couple years back, I had it attached to me everywhere so my purses have to be at least big enough for a Kindle Fire HD 8.9. Yes that is a big mofo of a tablet but it is so worth it.

Bottom line is that no one can be too prepared for any situation, whether it is get to work in the style of the Fast and the Furious, or to an event that you plan on attending straight after work, or just in case the khol pencil you were trying out now makes you look like a raccoon, the tank holds most if not all the solutions. This little bag has saved me a few times and a lot of others have something similar. What do you carry in yours?

Signature Style

Call me typical, call it dumb, call it whatever. I don't care. I love reading me some Cosmopolitan. In this recent issue, there was one article that really struck a chord with me and it was about signatures.

Everyone has their own style. It's great to go and experiment with different things, clothes, makeup, etc. We've all seen the pictures over years of all our "phases" in life, but there's always something you go back to. Something that signifies you to yourself and everyone knows that "IT" is your thing.

For Miranda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada, it was her Hermes scarves. For my grandma, its White Diamonds perfume. And for myself, my sister, my aunt/second mama, and my mama, it's the Maybelline Great Lash mascara in Royal Blue and a winged liner.

It's our thing. We'll mix it up but every time someone notices on me, the look on their faces is priceless. They always expect some super high end makeup when in all actuality its about $4-5 at Walgreens or Wal-Mart. I would buy it in bulk if I could. Now it may not be waterproof but it is thorough. It's standard, simple packaging with a standard, simple applicator. It's my rock of makeup and has my heart forever and a day.

Everyone needs their staple. We have fashion and makeup as a symbol of our individuality and creativity. The late Oscar De La Renta said, "Fashion is about dressing according to what's fashionable. Style is more about being yourself." We spend so much time trying this and that and keeping up with the new trends that it's nice coming back to something you know that works. It's easy that you can always come back to. It's comfortable and just makes you feel good. So find that signature and work it.

PROOF That Plus Size Women Buy Designer

I've been pretty excited lately, 1. Because it's raining and 2. Because my sister got engaged. She and my future brother-in-law (who I've called my in-law forever anyway) have been together ten years. *Que Charlotte's scream from SATC movie* It's a huge deal. She's the first of the four of us to go into this stage of life.

He proposed while they were taking 10 year anniversary photos in Philly. (because they decided they wanted to leave us out west. lol)

You can't deny that she is beautiful

She shopped and shopped for an outfit, and as a wonderful B3 woman, using her eastern resources to find this gorgeous dress from IGIGI. Anyone who has ever looked at their website knows that this is not a 20 or even a 50 dollar dress. This was a couple hundred dollars. IGIGI is a great brand for B3 style clothing with a designer price tag to go on it. But my sister loves it, rocks it, and is planning on buying more.

It totally contradicts the general notion that Fashionista.com informed the world of. Here's the link to that. (PS she's awesome)

http://fashionista.com/2014/08/plus-size-women-problems

She writes about how so many say that plus size women will generally buy the cheap unflattering clothing or focus on losing weight and just not buying great pieces or clothing that they love. Now I can't say that there are not people like that in the world and my sister and I have had our own moments in our lives where we were in the same place. But there's a myriad of women who are making waves about loving our bodies and my wonderful sister and I are trying to do the same by example. What girl, regardless of size, has ever not loved her body for whatever reason? How long do young girls, especially, have terrible self esteem? To many and too long is the right answer.

I owe a lot to my sister because she is amazingly strong and growing up, that helped me decide that it was ok to have an opinion and that not everyone will be ok with that opinion, but that is their problem. So here we are in the world, going out in public, subject to judgement from everyone and their dog saying "Yes, I'm Big and need bigger clothes but here I am rocking the 200+ dollar dress that many in the fashion industry say I won't buy." Totally making their reasoning for not extending sizes a sad excuse. If you make it, we will try. And if we try and like it, we will buy.