Hello, I'm Shrill Too

So Shrill has hit the Hulu and I had no idea. I was on the Instagram as one does after the Grampocalypse that, at least was, for me, just slightly annoying but some people really lost they shiz. But one of the peeps I follow, Marge Hudson aka @areyoutheregoditsmemarge, opened my eyes to what is happening on the interwebs and I had to be apart of it.

Thankfully, I have a day off of work and was planning on totally and completely taking advantage of it. So I had to see what was going and oh my sweet eleven pound baby Jesus, this was phenomenal! The main character is Annie, Aidy Bryant, and she is the me and the many others who have gone through anything similar who doesn't fit in a sample size. It was shocking and beautifully done. I also want so much to have a Fran, Lolly Adefope, in my life just FYI. 

From episode one, the story is on the move and things are moving very quickly. But I could relate to this show if you haven't figured that out. Now, I don't know if her wardrobe was modestly chosen on purpose because she likes it but feels the need to 'cover up' or what. I just watched the season and here I am so don't @ me. However comma, I felt it because I know in high school, I drove my bff and my mom crazy because my standard wardrobe were jeans and a t-shirt of darker tones. I upped my makeup and accessory game where I could but always double guessing affections from the opposite sex. I mean, hell, who hasn't been called a flipper when your supposedly bisexual boyfriend cheats on you with a guy friend? (For the record, I was the last girl he had as a girlfriend and there's no confusion about the intentions in hindsight and in true Ariana fashion, I'm thankful for him because I now have my ride or die, my person, my best friend for life who is also his ex.) 

I've had the thoughts where I've thought that a going-on-the-back-door-better-than-nothing feeling was as good as it was going to get. And the mental change that Annie has starts to resonate as the season goes on and that is something that some people have at different times in life and if someone hasn't, I have a feeling that it will help someone get to that point to where they can start loving themselves and stop apologizing for taking space in the world.

Even now with my new position, I'm again the biggest person in the building of about a dozen-ish and while it's not intentional most of the time, it's noticed that one does not belong or one does not mesh. Even our personalities are quite a bit different and I've seen clients do a double take for crying out loud. 

So it's there, it's not just a show catering to the plus sized community about empowerment but it's also shows the ugly parts that come with it. It happens and people on the internet are cruel but confronting enemies in person, you find how much they hate themselves because you don't have to hate you and they can't handle it. Let that sink in, they, who hate you, can't handle you loving yourself because the standards of the world have always said that you shouldn't, so they don't. Can it still hurt? Abso-f*cking-lutely. Can it suck that your crush in school calls you a hog to your face and your choice is to cry or pull it together and attack verbally because you are not about to be suspended? Hell to the yea. But here we are, being represented anyway on the internet in a show that will definitely take off because in case you haven't been bombarded, the average size of a woman in the US is 14 or 16, can't remember at the moment but it's not a 2. There are more of us than they know what to do with so someone has decided that if you can't beat them, because let's be honest they can't keep us down if they tried, join them and realize that we are human and we are not going away. We are gorgeous. We are fashionable and stylish. We can and deserved to be loved for who we are regardless of our size. We will stand and bring each other up more than those who are determined to bring us down. 

So I will add that this to a couple other faves in my book that remind me that I'm here and need to live my best life with the good and bad because it's all I got:

Also a book - Just saying...

Gumption - nuff said

And it's a book. You can bet your butt I'm buying and reading!

Also thank you Marge, I sent you a DM about it, but I wanted to do it again because I've also not posted on my blog since, like, August and my first thought was to do this. I'm going to ride this euphoria as long as I can. Until I can get more up, look at some of my older stuff.

B3 is my motto - http://bit.ly/The3BBBz

Adulting - http://bit.ly/Adultwin

Follow me on Blogloving if you wanna - http://bit.ly/MyBloglovinPg

OR

on the Insta since it's back up - http://bit.ly/MyIgJazz