Friday, July 10, 2015

#ROCKTHECROPTOP or in My Case....#DeerintheHeadlights

So if for some reason you haven't heard about it, I'm not sure where you've been. I saw it first on the Instagram and a hashtag later, it was instantly everywhere. O Magazine, the literature of the one and only Oprah, the spawn of one of the most powerful women alive had a pretty big hiccup for the world to see. Set the dramatic scene of a fifties cop interrogation room, black and white, bright light bulb in yo face!

The question, "Can I pull off a crop top?"

It could have gone many ways and the way it went, well you can imagine after seeing...

"If (and only if) you have a flat stomach...." And the internet blew up.

Body shaming is getting to be an increasingly hot topic. Be it fat shaming, skinny shaming, shaming shaming, it's everywhere. And it's brought out an amazing amount of wonderful women in all shapes and sizes throwing out the #ROCKTHECROPTOP tag, One being Gorgeous in Grey, (love reading her stuff).

I don't blame people for being outraged, uncomfortable, and offended. Part of me does too, but honestly only part. The other part wants to agree for all the wrong reasons.

After reading a lot of responses to the O Magazine Crop-gate, Carrie Bradshaw really wondered how I felt about it. I have never worn a crop top in my life. My dad is super conservative when it comes to the amount of skin I show. If I have on a camisole, then I need pull it up to show less cleavage, which is not easy with DD doggies, and try to not have my bra straps show so much. Strapless tops could only be worn around the house and if I thought about going outside to the laundry room, I had "better put a shirt on". Even I got older and became more comfortable with my size, I never considered a crop top. When they came back in style, I thought well that's cute but just not for me.

FIRST Problem, I had never tried to wear one. There's a quite a few ways to wear them and I am 0 to 100+. So in my mind, this doesn't even count as an excuse, but here it is.

SECOND Problem, I don't think that it would look good on me. First go back to the first problem, and add this to it. Even though I am comfortable with my size, I am still having some issues. I was used to wear my loss and gains usually went and that was to my hips and thighs, but not so much my mid section. Now...not so much the case and I can be open with the fact that it's an area I need to work on in my own way and in my own time.

THIRD Problem, there are things in life that sometimes help or hurt you. In my little equally as conservative town, there's a certain way to act in and outside of work. In my current position, I find myself seeing a lot of my customers even outside of work and I refuse to not be my bright and shiny self. But on the other hand, I don't want to talk about work. When I leave then I am no longer obligated to drop everything and take care of someone else's needs. But I also can't be rude because duh, mama didn't raise no fool. But I can still say that my confidence has taken a bit of a dip because being ON, for a lack of better words, is exhausting and I can't be me and I'm slowly retreating towards an old shell I had for a long time.

So while all these beautiful people are peeking that tummy, I'm in my head saying, "but I wear layers on a daily basis." I am usually wearing 2+ tops. I think my max was 4 tops and a jacket. And I've been doing that since high school to help smooth things out before I found shape wear and then actually bought shape wear. It makes me nervous, hence my deer in the headlights looks because yes, there is a part of me that says "YES, I have to get in this." Then I have to pull my fist pump down from the air and whisper, "but you don't have a crop top and probably wouldn't wear it anyway..." Not a nice thought. Gonna have to get this duck in a row as well. (Which if you don't know, was my last post so check that out too)

All in all, shoutout to the ladies who are bold and confident enough to rock the hell out of the crop top and you guys are my inspiration to get to that point, because it is doable, right?

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