Tales of the Tank - Quarantine Essentials

Since the Corona Virus aka Covid-19 has taken over the world about as fast as Love is Blind, the self induced hostage situation has started and half the population has freaked out and the other half, at least in my area, is still like meh which has led to grr. I will even admit that I started out that way too despite being a text book high risk person. I fell for the 'it's basically the flu' hype and once I pulled my head out and started keeping up with the CDC rather than such and such station, I've made my adjustments and continued on the self induced hostage situation for weeks...because days mean nothing anymore.

So anyways, if you're confused about the title, Tales of the Tank. Let me quickly explain, I love my bags and need them sturdy and a bit Marry Poppins-ish so that I'm relatively prepared for whatever the day throws at me. Peeps with quite a commute know what I'm talking about. So now that  you know, I have a few more posts like these and I'll pop them down below.

But any-whoville, I've juggled a few sizes and style and lately for at least the past year or two, I've been a die-hard backpack purse user. On top of that, since we haven't been hit with a full country lockdown, there are some times where I've needed to go out as safely as possible. So here's a few things that should be in your bag if you have to leave home for essential reasons:

1. Wallet- I don't usually carry cash because regardless of global viruses, IT'S DIRTY AF. If you have a debit or credit card, use it. More cards are becoming contactless rather than using the chip that sooo many love (insert sarcasm). Look for this symbol on your card and it should work if the place uses them. OR if you're super fancy or live in a bigger city than me, Apple Pay, Samsung Pay, Android Pay, just use something other than cash please.

2. External battery/ Charging cord - I will never stop carrying at least one of these around. No asking for a cord or looking for an outlet and risking sitting less that 6 feet from some random person.

3. Hand Sanitizer - As an avid and loyal customer to Bath and Body Works, this is the hand sanitizer I have and use because one, I have it and two, it's all gone as far as Purell is concerned. Now, according to the CDC, hand sanitizer is still good if it has 60% ethanol alcohol or 70% isopropanol alcohol so that physicians perform surgery. BBW hand sanitizer has 68% isopropanol...so it's not enough for surgery but maybe enough to pick up some laundry detergent and a swiffer wet mop. Now if you are out or everywhere is, there is a DIY on the Pinterest for 70+% alcohol and aloe vera gel mixture. Use at your discretion. [[If you can also get your hands on clorox or lysol wipes, it becomes very handy to have in your car.]]

4. Medication Pouch - I have this on me anyway. Remember I mentioned that whole high risk thing? Yeah, totally feel like a class A idiot but I've made a call to make sure that my meds are in and on hand. Also thank you Tylenol and Tylenol Sinus because these allergies and sinuses have also been hella bad.

5. Notebook/Pen - Yes I use my phone for notes, but I remember more when I write it down. Like if it's not written, it doesn't exist. So for the times that I've needed to go out, I'll write down where I need to go and what I need to get done. Plan it out, execute, and back to the hidey hole. Also don't need to ask for a pen to sign for receipts. Boom.

6. Extra Mask - Regardless of how you feel about the current times or how much it does or does not affect you, there are millions of people who are at high risk. Some are elderly and some are immunocompromised and those people can be of any age. ANY. AGE. The thing is that we don't walk around with neon signs. So please just be a good person and wear a mask of sorts. Paper, fabric, bandanna, whatever. You aren't required to care but a good person cares for someone else like they do themselves. And now I'll descend off of the soapbox.

And there we go, so wherever you are, I implore you to not pull a me and dismiss the severity of what's going on and stay well. Hopefully you're able to work from home and social distance without hoarding. Check your sources for news or multiple sources and if nothing else, the CDC is easily accessible.


In the meantime, here's some of my other posts that don't have to deal with a global crisis.

Tales of the Tank - The Clutch ~ http://bit.ly/TOTT50Cal

2020 Starting Out - http://bit.ly/2020TCoat

Medical Guide Part 1 - http://bit.ly/DrRxtips1
 and Part 2 - http://bit.ly/Med2appt



Like? Give a girl a follow on Bloglovin
http://bit.ly/MyBloglovinPg

Or Instagram
http://bit.ly/MyIgJazz

Hello, I'm Shrill Too

So Shrill has hit the Hulu and I had no idea. I was on the Instagram as one does after the Grampocalypse that, at least was, for me, just slightly annoying but some people really lost they shiz. But one of the peeps I follow, Marge Hudson aka @areyoutheregoditsmemarge, opened my eyes to what is happening on the interwebs and I had to be apart of it.

Thankfully, I have a day off of work and was planning on totally and completely taking advantage of it. So I had to see what was going and oh my sweet eleven pound baby Jesus, this was phenomenal! The main character is Annie, Aidy Bryant, and she is the me and the many others who have gone through anything similar who doesn't fit in a sample size. It was shocking and beautifully done. I also want so much to have a Fran, Lolly Adefope, in my life just FYI. 

From episode one, the story is on the move and things are moving very quickly. But I could relate to this show if you haven't figured that out. Now, I don't know if her wardrobe was modestly chosen on purpose because she likes it but feels the need to 'cover up' or what. I just watched the season and here I am so don't @ me. However comma, I felt it because I know in high school, I drove my bff and my mom crazy because my standard wardrobe were jeans and a t-shirt of darker tones. I upped my makeup and accessory game where I could but always double guessing affections from the opposite sex. I mean, hell, who hasn't been called a flipper when your supposedly bisexual boyfriend cheats on you with a guy friend? (For the record, I was the last girl he had as a girlfriend and there's no confusion about the intentions in hindsight and in true Ariana fashion, I'm thankful for him because I now have my ride or die, my person, my best friend for life who is also his ex.) 

I've had the thoughts where I've thought that a going-on-the-back-door-better-than-nothing feeling was as good as it was going to get. And the mental change that Annie has starts to resonate as the season goes on and that is something that some people have at different times in life and if someone hasn't, I have a feeling that it will help someone get to that point to where they can start loving themselves and stop apologizing for taking space in the world.

Even now with my new position, I'm again the biggest person in the building of about a dozen-ish and while it's not intentional most of the time, it's noticed that one does not belong or one does not mesh. Even our personalities are quite a bit different and I've seen clients do a double take for crying out loud. 

So it's there, it's not just a show catering to the plus sized community about empowerment but it's also shows the ugly parts that come with it. It happens and people on the internet are cruel but confronting enemies in person, you find how much they hate themselves because you don't have to hate you and they can't handle it. Let that sink in, they, who hate you, can't handle you loving yourself because the standards of the world have always said that you shouldn't, so they don't. Can it still hurt? Abso-f*cking-lutely. Can it suck that your crush in school calls you a hog to your face and your choice is to cry or pull it together and attack verbally because you are not about to be suspended? Hell to the yea. But here we are, being represented anyway on the internet in a show that will definitely take off because in case you haven't been bombarded, the average size of a woman in the US is 14 or 16, can't remember at the moment but it's not a 2. There are more of us than they know what to do with so someone has decided that if you can't beat them, because let's be honest they can't keep us down if they tried, join them and realize that we are human and we are not going away. We are gorgeous. We are fashionable and stylish. We can and deserved to be loved for who we are regardless of our size. We will stand and bring each other up more than those who are determined to bring us down. 

So I will add that this to a couple other faves in my book that remind me that I'm here and need to live my best life with the good and bad because it's all I got:

Also a book - Just saying...

Gumption - nuff said

And it's a book. You can bet your butt I'm buying and reading!

Also thank you Marge, I sent you a DM about it, but I wanted to do it again because I've also not posted on my blog since, like, August and my first thought was to do this. I'm going to ride this euphoria as long as I can. Until I can get more up, look at some of my older stuff.

B3 is my motto - http://bit.ly/The3BBBz

Adulting - http://bit.ly/Adultwin

Follow me on Blogloving if you wanna - http://bit.ly/MyBloglovinPg

OR

on the Insta since it's back up - http://bit.ly/MyIgJazz

 

Halloween Because You Can

You’re not too old for Halloween!!!

I had this argument with my boyfriend recently about debating what plans to do for the fall. Most of the exciting things happen in the state like the International Balloon Fiesta, and there’s just other festivals galore for my state. Of course we get invited to a couple Halloween parties, mainly through his friends and coworkers. Like any other holiday occasion, they were going to be costume parties. Mind you, he’s one of the youngest guys at his work and they’ve been asking what his costume is going to be and he’s been answering with “myself”. He doesn’t plan on wearing a costume because he states that he’s too old or his favorite coined phrase, he’s grown.

Now anyone who just enjoys holidays in general can see the brain cells dying off in my head because I’m totally rolling them. Happens every year and what he doesn’t realize is that it puts me in a slightly awkward spot because if we go, you know that your girl is gonna wanna dress up. (I only say slightly because while we could be that couple that dresses together, I don’t really have a problem going all out on my costume while he shows up in a regular t-shirt). His older brother throws a little family get together for Halloween that includes costumes and a pumpkin decorating contest. It’s all part of the spirit but I know and you know and they know and everyone and their dog knows that there are people in the world that think that if you have hit puberty then you are too old to be trick or treating and/or participating.

Now I know it’s not just a ‘girl’ thing to want to dress up and not be you, intentionally, with no judgement what-so-ever so I give you 5 reasons to join in the holiday spirit for Halloween.

1.       There are too few joys in life. There’s no hiding the turmoil that has plagued the world lately. Not just where I am in the state of New Mexico where we had our own shooting at a local public library but there’s been the terrible massacre in Las Vegas, Nevada. The multiple hurricanes to the southeast of the country as well as the wall of Hellfire up in the northwest of the country. Mother Nature has also taken a toll on other areas of the world as well as just the appalling actions of other humans here and everywhere else. We need a sort of release. We need a time to be together and remember that it’s ok to have a good time in order to renew spirits to handle tomorrow.

2.       It’s proof that we need to take ourselves a little less seriously. Now this is something that I can admit I am guilty of and I thank my wonderful boyfriend for pointing it out to me even if I don’t like it in that moment. You have to be able to laugh at yourself. Call it the fault of the PC culture or Social Justice Warriors whatever you want, it’s all just an excuse. You can’t take yourself seriously all the time. You just can’t because if you do then it affects your personality and it has the potential to turn you not just into a party pooper but a general stick in the mud in life and no one wants to be around that (including yourself).

3.       It’s just fun overall. FUN. Whether you have the stupid SpongeBob song playing or a club song playing in your head. It’s almost a certifiable day to be lighthearted and whimsy. If your work allows you to dress up within reason, why not? If you’re invited to a grown up costume party and you want to be fun rather than risqué, why not? If you’d rather go vice versa, why not? It’s a perfect opportunity to try something new in terms of your personality and check out reactions. Everyone gets compliments around Halloween whether it’s for being scary, pretty, creative, risqué. You can still get away with throwing a sheet with two holes and be a ghost and still get laughs for crying out loud.

4.       Great family time. Now granted I don’t have kids and if you have them, you’re more than likely to keep them away from me because I have some unseen ability to scare children and it ultimately ends with crying and occasionally screaming. No lie and 98% of the time it’s unintentional. But I’ve also been at work and we usually participate in the Safe Stops for Trick Or Treating. The community does a fantastic job of putting it together for families to take especially the small children trick or treating during the day rather than in the depths of night. I’ve seen the full cast of the Wizard of Oz with Dorothy and the Lion in a stroller. I’ve seen the cast of Toy Story with 3 of them riding in a Red Wagon, one being the little green alien and my life was made. It’s just a good time all around for us who are giving the treats and for everyone who has to walk through our doors.

5.       It doesn’t have to be demonic. Yes, the history surrounding the connotation of Halloween is fairly dark. No matter what your faith or beliefs are, it’s good to remember that we can’t change the past. We can’t change the possibility or even of the idea that the spirits of those who’ve passed on have the opportunity to return or if you as a virgin light the Blake Flame Candle then the Sanderson sisters would return to suck the lives out of the children by sunrise. It is 2017 and we have the power and ability to make this holiday what we want. So if your group wants to throw up a picture of a goat and jam out to Norwegian black metal bands, whatever but don’t harm anyone. If your group wants to have a costume party zombies or heaven forbid, karaoke, do you booboo and don’t harm anyone. 

There are worse things in this life and in this world than a holiday we can use for fun rather than obligation. And on that note, what are you dressing up as?

       

Check out some of my other posts-

  The Blues of My Life - http://bit.ly/2wnrtRc          

  Bra Talk - http://bit.ly/2ezvzOM    

    

  Office Decor - http://bit.ly/OfficeDe                             

Bra Talk

There are days...... and then there are days where circumstances dictate what has to happen for that day. As a plus sized woman, there are certain standards that society will always be violated and for those that are offended, sorry your life sucks. It took me a long time to be comfortable with myself and every now and then, sometimes I gotta smack myself and remind myself that I’m fabulous. I had one of those moments this morning.

Aside from being B3 (Big, Bad, and Beautiful), I have always enjoyed the size of my chest, my bust, my rack of power if you will. I was a B cup in 6^th grade and have only leveled up from there. But like any great power comes greater responsibility and I take it very seriously in the bra department. These girls need the support to be properly and tastefully on display and for that, I don’t mind spending a decent amount of money on quality bras from Lane Bryant. Nothing against Victoria’s Secret, but they don’t carry my size in store and if I’m going to spend an arm and a possible leg on bras, I want to be able to try them on before I buy them so thank you Lane Bryant for taking my money willingly in exchange for great bras that don’t stop working and are pretty too.

Since learning about and dealing with my new disease, I’ve been trying to keep an open mind and a closed wallet, however, my biggest complaint about losing weight is that my bras don’t fit right. I prefer padded and underwired and anyone who wears this combo knows that if it doesn’t fit, you will most likely be in pain. And I have been because with all the changes happening to my body and lifestyle, I can’t afford to replace them and then find out that I’d need to change them again. So I went to the only store I would and could go to and made a choice to try a bandeau bra slash bralette.

maurices carries straight sizes and plus size bralettes!

I’ve seen them everywhere on the interwebs and they are all the rage, but I’ve always been under the impression that they weren’t for me because I’ve normally seen them on smaller women with smaller busts. Finding these in my size at maurices was a surprise and a sign to bite the bullet and not knock it til I try it, especially considering these cost, literally, a third of what I would pay for a regular bra.

With the inflammation in my joints, there are some days where I can’t put on a bra because my hands can’t and won’t grip it. So here I am trying these little barely padded, no wire, basically tube tops and half of me is wanting to smack myself for going out in public for fear of rejection and ridicule. The other half was the half I listened to because I was able to mentally smack myself harder with the fact that if it feels good and it looks good, then it could be a beautiful relationship.

This style is cute and probably the most comfortable thing to wear on my ta-tas

And guess what? As I'm writing this.... this is my first day not just wearing it in public, but at work in a professional atmosphere and so far it feels wonderful.  I’m comfortable and the girls aren’t going wild without wires. My mind is going, if it feels great now, what about in other outfits for regular wear like sleeveless, razorbacks, scoop necks, off the shoulder, spaghetti straps, etc????? The possibilities are endless so take it from me, take a chance and try it, whatever ‘it’ may be.



And in the mean time, catch up on some of my other posts....

Smell Good Stuff - http://bit.ly/2vT879v

June in Summertime - http://bit.ly/2uD9o4o

Modern Window Shopping - http://bit.ly/2sG527o

This or That? Tag You're It!

#Lifestyle | This or That?

Now in my defense, I don't remember who I saw this tag from. I saw it a while back and loved it! Now that the new year has taken off and there's a lot of controversial stuff going on, I figure everyone needs a break for a little fun. 

Bath

Perfume or Body Splash?

     **Body spray? Normally, I don't have many perfumes and I save those for special occasions

Lotion or body butter? 

     **lotion

Body wash or soap? 

     **body wash

Lush or other bath company?

     **I've never tried Lush, I want to but haven't so I stick with Bath and Body Works. They take good care of me

Fashion

Jeans or sweat pants?

     **Jeans for sho. A good pair of jeans is like a great pair of shoes and you can do anything  

Long sleeve or short? 

   **Short sleeve. Most long sleeves tend to fit me like a 3/4 sleeve. Long sleeves are like unicorns

Dresses or skirts? 

     **Dresses. Even when I do wear skirts, they tend to wear like dresses

Stripes or plaid? 

     **Stripes. Plaid depends on my mood

Flip flops or sandals? 

     **I like flip flops for everyday but going out, sandals.

Scarves or hats? 

    **Hi I'm Jazz and I have a scarf addiction. I've made progress but they have my <3. I like hats but I'm convinced that my head is shaped weird and then there's the hat hair dilemma.

Studs or dangly earrings? 

     **I have a double piercing so BOTH

Necklaces or bracelets? 

     **Necklaces, even with the troubles that I had before and after my surgery, necklaces all day

Heels or flats? 

     **Flats...I'm 5 ft 10 in., so society doesn't want me to wear heels but I gotta couple that I'll bring out every now and then, but especially at work, noooooooo.

Cowboy boots or riding boots? 

     **Riding boots! It took me so long to find good riding boots. Where I come from, if you're wearing cowboy boots, they are more work related than fashion related.

Jacket or hoodie? 

     **Hoodie - Every single time.

Forever21 or Charlotte Russe? 

     **Forever 21+, I hear that Charlotte Russe has a plus size line, but I've never been to a store.

Abercombie or Hollister? 

     **BAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I'm plus sized, I vote American Eagle men's section for me.

Saks 5th or Nordstrom? 

     **Haven't been to either. Heard of them, but never encountered them

Nails

OPI or ChinaGlaze? 

     **I've had more OPI than anything so OPI?

Natural or Acrylic? 

     **Natural. Acrylic makes me feel guilty and while I enjoy gel/shelak my nails grow too fast and then my bank account cries.

Flower or no flower?

     **I gotta be in the mood for floral in general but I'll rock one every now and then.

Hair

Curly or Straight?

     **Mine is super straight. I prefer a wave

Bun or Ponytail?

     **Bun, On top of my head, low on the side. I need my hair out of my way but I've been loving the undercut I had going on until I cut my hair a bit too short. Good thing it grows.

Bobby Pins or Butterfly Clips?

     **Bobby Pins. Butterfly clips are loooong gone.

Hairspray or Gel?

     **Hairspray. No solid gel, no spray gel. Just nah.

Long or Short?

     **Medium. Long hair to me was when I was in high school and my hair was about four-ish feet long. Shoulder lenth or middle of the back is not considered long to me.

Light or Dark?

     **Dark. I've had some highlights for a bit, debated an ombre but I think I'm good for now.

Side sweep or full bangs?

     **side sweep but it has been many a moon since I've had bangs

Up or down?

     **because of how short it is now it's pretty much always down.  I'm ok with it for now.

Random

Rain or shine?

    ** Rain - I live in the desert, when it rains, I love life more.

Summer or winter?

     **Winter. It's easier to layer up but in the summer you can only take so much off.

Fall or spring? 

     **Fall. If I had to choose between the four, it'd be fall. Yea the wind may get in the way. But that's when the rains come and I don't have to worry about ice yet.

Chocolate or vanilla? 

     **Hersheys Cookies and Cream but if we are talking about ice cream, vanilla.

East coast or west coast? 

     **As much as I love the East Coast, I have to go West. lol Sorry Biggie

I hope you enjoyed it and share your answers too.


In the mean time....

Follow me on Bloglovin

or check out some of my other posts....
How much is your face worth?
Fall Transition Favorites

The Full Figure Picture Still Going Forward

http://weartv.com/news/local/local-boutique-saves-the-day-after-a-teen-is-fat-shamed

I came across ^^^ this article ^^^ on the facebook of a friend. I've never been to Florida or even heard of this store but this story really hit me in the feels.

Mother and daughter go to find a dress for Homecoming and the sales rep gives her the signature up and down look at her daughter and shuts her down. It may not have been a harsh as Regina George getting told to go to Sears after not fitting in a size 5, but trust me when I tell you that it feels like that and about 99 times worse. After getting nowhere with corporate, a boutique was able to find a fabulous solution.

Now Grace Tennyson, the author of the article, mentions that Megan regular wore junior size clothing in that store. In my mind, there really shouldn't have been an issue at a department store but in this case it was and Megan was shut down completely and publicly.

I remember having this moment in high school trying to find a dress for Homecoming my Senior Year. I was nominated for Homecoming Queen and so proper formal attire was required. Nothing made me more nervous because at that time there wasn't a store that carried plus size formal wear that I could afford. I could have tried the prom store but I wasn't about to ask my parents to fork over $400 for a dress that I couldn't try on and that option was more than likely plain black....Hell, I didn't even buy either of my prom dresses at the prom store, and online shopping wasn't an option with dial up.

Forgive the picture - It's the only one I have that's mainly full length and pretty sure it was taken on a 35mm film camera and I needed to hide my cousin for obvious reasons. But you get the point...

I was plus size then, and now, but I was also taller than the average girl so I already knew trying to find something floor length would also be slim to none. After driving 4 hours away to the city, I could only find one dress that was semi appropriate, though my dad hated it, and it required some adjustments on my body's part, the shapewear and the strategies to keep the gorgeous fishtail front from riding up too high when I walked. And I don't recall being helped by an associate at all. Not when I was grabbing the displays off the walls to check at the tags to pray that there was an XL. Not when my mom had multiple dresses thrown over her shoulder while I changed in the dressing room hating life because it was too short off the floor or too short and close to the lady bits or cut just low enough that the school would complain about my chest making a bigger appearance than me.

To be honest, I got lucky. I wasn't the only plus sized nominee that year and we all had the same problem whether we admit it or not. Now did we make it work? Of course because we do that and are used to it. I loved the dress and enjoyed the day. Have I worn it since? absolutely not. Just like my high school graduation dress which was also a bit too short and too low cut for a sundress and my prom dress was about 4 inches off the ground that I was able to buy off of a friend of the family who wore it as a bridesmaid dress. We made due with what we had.

Granted, Tennyson doesn't mention how much the dress was before or after the fitting but the important part is that someone cared enough to make this young lady feel special and beautiful whether she is considered a straight size or plus size. High school is hell enough whether we know it during or realize it years after. So for this owner, I tip my metaphorical hat and give you much applause because there's a lot of us women now, who weren't able to have that option then and those who still don't now. And yet, you made the effort to show that this girl should most definitely feel like a million bucks and the pictures in the article show her believing that she is worth the million bucks.

“I think that everyone is beautiful and should feel that way.” - Deborah West, owner of the boutique

It goes to show that there is progress out there. It still seems slower than molasses on a white Christmas morning most times, but it's still progress. Stories like this are the shining light of hope. We, as curvy or plus or full figured or the B3s, have some more options now that weren't there before and I know that it will grow even more so that less people, girls and boys and everyone in between, don't have moments like so many of us, including Megan, had. I hope that she went to Homecoming and rocked the ever living Hell out of that dress with the gusto that comes with feeling like a rock star.






If you'd like to check out some of my other posts, here's a few topics I cover that you can always find on Bloglovin:

http://bit.ly/MyBloglovinPg


Posts like this:

Operation Ducks in a Row - Relationships and Life - http://bit.ly/10GTWODIAR

Tag! How much is my face worth? - http://bit.ly/MyFaceis

10 Pokewalk Essentials (because I'm a nerd like that :] ) - http://bit.ly/10PokeWalk

Tales of the Tank (aka my Purse) My 50 Cal Clutch - http://bit.ly/TOTT50Cal

B3 - Big, Bad, and Beautiful

So even though I've had this blog up for a bit, I still feel like I'm really new. One thing I know I'm still working on is my niche, my thang, my spot in the blogosphere. While I think that will still be a work in process, I know one thing that I can look to and that is the B3.

My aunt actually came up with this a long time ago and it has stuck with me. She said girls like us are Big, Bad, and Beautiful. And as someone who has kinda been an outlier to societies standard, it was really awesome to have someone say that yes, you're taller and a bit bigger than the average girl but that is ok because you are fierce and strong. I've taking those and looked at the women in my life, my mom, aunts on both sides, grandmas, and it needs to be said.

I am not a small woman; seriously, the smallest things about my body are my ears. I've known it my whole life, people have pointed it out to me in a backhanded compliment or just straight up rude comment or a seemingly innocent comment about when I'm due.

I have this friend and to be honest she's one of my best friends; she's the bubbliest person I know with a shape to kill for. She encountered a comment from a guy about her size and was told she should be ashamed of her body and she just took it and said how dare you?! I'm rocking my body because I love it.

Me being the kind of person I am, was like gimme da signal and you have back up STAT but she said no, she wasn't gonna let one person's opinion affect how she sees herself and the world. THAT is being Big, Bad, and Beautiful. Love yourself, stand up for yourself and let your sparkle shine.

I may not know where my niche will come from in order to point my blog in that direction but it will revolve around the three B's and I hope you'll come on this journey with me. 







Follow me on Bloglovin http://bit.ly/MyBloglovinPg



My last post on July's awesomeness http://bit.ly/DJuly16Faves

For all my fellow nerds http://bit.ly/10PokeWalk

Out of the Comfort Zone With My Hair

PLEASE tell me that I'm not the only person who's hair gets all over their last nerve.

I've had an interesting time with my hair since my surgery a while back and a frustrating time with the ugly scar that was left behind. Since it had gone in my hair line, this growing out process has been fun but it's also summer is here and I will be damned if I can't pull my hair up. This week alone, it's been 80 degrees before 9am, then we roast like a good rotisserie for the day in the 90-100's and it's still 80 degrees after 9pm.

Well like hair goes, it grew and I found out that the little edges would not stay in a low ponytail let alone a regular one. So after some initial surfing on the Pinterest, I found the solution! The Undercut.

Here's the one I saw and pinned so quick my phone didn't know what to do with itself.

Here's mine. It's AWESOME!! I had my stylist throw in some highlights earlier in the year and then she was all for doing this for me. I was nervous mainly because this was going to be a big change since the surgery. It was a willing change and the only person who semi-freaked out was my dad. Then I told him about my scar issues and he understood, which then led to a thunderstorm later.

Coming from an old-school Hispanic family living in the edge of the bible belt, so many times it's hard finding that middle ground. Where I'd love to be out and do amazing and crazy creative things, I'm still semi-recognized in this small community as a professional. Not to say that it's a downside but I don't need my work life to be more stressful than it already is, especially when I'm off the clock. So I keep to my bubble and sometimes it's suffocating. Having this little perk just for myself to show off when I want makes me feel like I don't have to be in a box all the time.

 A few things to know about getting an undercut:

1. Make sure your stylist can do it and is willing to do it. In many circles, it can be said this is not your grandmother's style. So pitch it and chances are are they will be excited too. Mine was :)

2. Commit to it. My stylist is super awesome and even though I had a couple reservations, she eased me into with a great point, it is hair so it's gonna grow back in case I didn't like it.

3. I have a triangle shape but it can just be cut across, so whatever design you're wanting, look it up and you can change it up when you get it touched up.

4. Getting buzzed for the first time with clippers is a very odd sensation so just go with it. It may be a bit itchy initially but trust me it will go away.

5. Touching up will be a must. I won't lie when I say I've lagged for how fast my hair grows. So know your hair works and again, Talk. To. Your. Stylist. They are professionals after all.


Remember to do what scares you.






Check out my favorites for June.
http://bit.ly/June16Faves

My latest love for my lips.
http://bit.ly/JJuicy



***Side Note*** Are you playing PokemonGO? Then you need this in your life asap
http://bit.ly/TOTTBattery

My Pissed AF Playlist

****Reader discretion advised. There may or may not be language that would not be considered lady-like and by that I mean... get over it PDQ before you continue****

My Bff sent me this on FB and I was like RIGHT?!

There are days and then there are days where you are glad that you can't blow things up with your mind. And then even worse when you question if you'd feel bad. I've had my fair share of days where people try to say that it's just one day, not your life. There's times that I can listen to my awesome boyfriend and look at the bigger picture like I did in this post. And then.....then there are times where I just need to be mad as Hell. Call me petty, an Aries, a girl and no I'm not on my damn period either so don't even try to pull that shit. I'm just fucking pissed... for whatever assortment of reasons.

It was Arnold in Terminator 3 who said that anger is more useful than despair. And yes it can be. Look at feelings and plans carried out due to vendettas and plots for revenge and sometimes you can even use it to come out victorious on top of the world when you apply angry to productivity and sh!t....

This was not one of those days. And for days like those, I turn to music, especially. I'm sure everyone does because it, literally, can be the only thing that meshes with what your feeling. So to share this notion, I've found a list of some of my fave mad-at-the-world songs that I have and continue to blast at home, in my car, etc. And yes, a lot of these songs are older but does matter? No bitch it does not but it does tend to make me feel better after a bit.


I'm Not Ok, I Promise - My Chemical Romance.

Crawling - Linkin Park.

So Sick - Flyleaf

Call Me When You're Sober - Evanescence

The Sharpest Lives - MCR

Go To Church - Ice Cube/Snoop Dogg (when he was still D-O-Double G)/ Lil Jon

Rollin' in the Deep - Adele

Lil Homies - 2Pac

Knives and Pens - Black Veil Brides

Move - Ludacris

Disturbed - Down with the Sickness

In the End - Linkin Park

Let the Bodies Hit the Floor - Drowning Pool

Everybody's Fool - Evanescence

Nightmare - A7X

Runaway - Linkin Park

The Change - Evanescence

The Unforgiven - Metallica



Now don't get me wrong, I am all for positive thinking and reinforcement. I am on the road to becoming a more positive person. HOWEVER COMMA, I am also a person who has had that tendency to bottle things up until it blows like Mt. St. Helens. I do believe it's important to acknowledge that anger is a feeling to be dealt with. Regardless of the reasons for being super f*ckin pissed, it is not something that has to stay with you. So I am a firm believer in the power of music.

More often than not, in extreme negative emotions, mad-as-sh!t or sad AF, we are isolated and alone. In the back of our minds, we know that it's not true but the feelings suck. So build that playlist and blast it because it's easier to feel better when you hear someone going through that same emotion. Genre doesn't matter and this isn't the end of my playlist either but it helps. So get your YouTube on, or Spotify, whatever your poison is and look some of these up if you haven't heard it.

Now that I have that off my chest, here's what else has been going on in life.

Beauty 
Life Lessons
Finances

And I'm new to Bloglovin' so let's keep in touch

Equal Pay Day Plus a Couple Thoughts

Just a comment or three about today. If you've been on social media at all, you'll know that today is Equal Pay Day. An estimated time frame to show that since we are 102 days into the new year, that women's pay catches up to where men ended last year. I must say that I have a few comments on that as well. It is said that women make on average 77 cents to every white male's dollar, however comma, that is for a white female. Women of color tend to face a larger pay gap. According to a piece I read from Cosmopolitan magazine by Jill Filipovic,

"It's a ubiquitous statistic: Women make 79 cents for every dollar a man makes. African-American women make 65 cents, Native America women 59, and Latinas just 54 cents to a white man's dollar."

While the gap is shocking, it's really not surprising. Equal rights is always a touchy subject for everyone but women's rights have been a topic of controversy since we were 'granted' the right to vote. Now I'll be honest when I say that I'm not sure if I've been a victim of the pay gap because I work for a corporation that tends to pay by the position and not necessarily by the name of the person in the position. There's been different ups and downs with my work story the size of the Rocky Mountains but even before I got into the workforce, I remember my mom telling me,

"You'll have to work twice as hard because you have two strikes against you. 1. You're female and 2. You're Hispanic."

She warned me about this because I know that she's had some pay discrimination in her life for more reasons than just gender and race. She didn't want me to be caught off guard about how the world has worked for so long and I'm not.

And now in these recent years, it's nice to see how it's being put out there and how narrow minded people really are. Education and time off for families and experience are honestly some bull sh!t excuses that some tend to play around with on how much affects the pay gap and some even claim that the gap doesn't exist. But on the other side, if women do really well then they are the bossy devil b!tch in Prada.

"Ok she's tough, but if Miranda were a man, noone would notice anything about her except how great she is at her job" ~The Devil Wears Prada

 Apparently there is no middle to women in the workplace. Apparently there seems to be gap in more than one place. So to the doubters and nay-sayers, do whatever helps you sleep at night because just because you don't believe it's this bad or you doubt the gap even exists, it does. It may be bigger in a lot of places and not as big in others, but the gap itself still remains.

This topic hangs in the back of my mind at times and ends up mentally listed in a few of my life choices like building a savings. Because with a lesser pay in places, there's less for retirement and less received in Social Security because there's not always enough paid in during the working years. It's not always about the here and now but it's over time and you learn that a lot of things, like your pay, will affect more that just your bank account and current livelihood










What else have I learned? Look at my last post on what else I've learned in the past 25 years of life.

Calm Your Tits! Seriously...

Ok so I need to get this out because somebody out in the interweb of haterland let their cheese slide off their cracker. I came across a post that I initially just gazed and scrolled and immediately had to take a double take and scroll back.

Reasons why small boobs are better than big boobs

Insult me all you want but when you start talkin about the girls, the Rottweilers with no names, the tata’s, the balls that are bigger than guy’s balls then you’ve just insulted my soul. I was ready to tear this stupid post apart! But honestly their arguments had no meat to it. (pun intended)

Their supposed reasons to shame the chests that hold the power to the universe included remarks like:

·       You can wear different bras – obviously notating the lack of variety that tends to be in larger sizes (who would have thought about that). My solution is stop trying to find bras at Wal-Mart. Victoria Secret doesn’t carry my bra size but I invest my hard working money into wonderful, quality, beautiful, patterned, solid, nude, lacy and racy bras from Lane Bryant and am really wanting to try the bras at Torrid.

·      Popping out- busty girls like myself always get this. Because some of us are more endowed than others, we automatically become unclassy, unprofessional and/or cheap when it comes to rocking a low cut anything. And then there are times where it’s not low cut and they can still runneth over, but most times that’s not the plan.  All I can say is that if I want you to see them, then you’ll see them. That doesn’t make me ‘whorrable’, it’s confidence.

·       Perky – noting that gravity is terrible and causes a lot of changes to take place throughout life. But here’s the kicker about this guys. Over time, we become older and all of us tends to sag in places we don’t want them too. (and if you didn’t read this with sarcasm, take a second and reread it please) It’s about health. If you take care of your ta ta’s when you’re younger along with the rest of yourself, then you’ll be just fine. My grandmothers are in their seventies and saggy girls are not an option.

·         Man attention – the particular caption was in reference to the distracting nature of the glorious beasts and the effects they can have on the opposite sex. But trying to say that I can never get a guy to make eye contact with me because he’s looking at my chest is like saying that a movie is better than the book it was based off of. Sometimes they stare yes, and sometimes they don’t. But last I checked, for those who stared, it was because you have breasts and carry two X chromosomes. I won’t lie to you and say that bigger boobs won’t get more attention, but another way to see it is that you gots da power! Over yourself, over that particular situation, over whether to get offended or to turn the tables in your favor.

·         Hard Life – throwing in struggles about back problems, the horrors of sports bras. And unfortunately yes there are women everywhere who struggle with their chest area. Some can afford to change that and some just make it with the hand they’re dealt. Sports bras are necessary for workouts or really anywhere that the dogs gotta be tied down. I don’t know of any woman with big or small titties that works out without one. There is a place and time to be wild and free, and the gym is not one of those times.

I got through the entire post with a giant ? on top of my head. Big boobs aren’t a death sentence and neither are small boobs. People with boobs have these problems regardless of size. So I really don’t know if maybe some sights are just really struggling for something to grab attention or what, but really internet, be original. If you want to bring the busty chests down to bring the small boobies up, don’t because they’re equal in the amount of pros and cons. There are people with bulldogs who’d rather have Chihuahuas and vise versa. I, myself, have always loved my bust. I weep for the breast cancer survivors because I can’t imagine my life without my chest and they do it every single day. I tip my hat and heart to them and to this dumb post, I can’t even bring myself to post the link, because obviously whoever is writing for you has some self-confidence issues. Put on some Demi with her Confident song and get over it and love what your mama gave ya.

An Open Letter To People in Customer Mode

Dear society in customer mode,

It’s that time of year again, even though Thanksgiving has already been forgotten, the Christmas music is playing in stores, the coupons and discounts are flooding in, and finances are being evaluated to take the shopping hits. As someone who works in customer service, part of me is excited and the other part is dreading it. The holiday season hits every industry in some way and on the front lines are all the employees who work in customer service. For some, the hours are longer, the inventory is bigger, and for even more the backlash is semi and not-so-semi hostile.

eCard brought to you by the power of Google 

I just ask that you remember that the employees who are helping you in your daily life are people too. We also go from employee mode to customer mode. The people I know in the food industry tip more than those who have never been. The people I know in the traditional retail industry have looked up extra coupons for friends, family, and people they don’t even know. The people who are working on the financial portion sometimes can’t get out of employee mode when they are off the clock because they are a face tied to that industry and are apparently not busy since they are in street clothes.

Google knows where the feels are

What I am trying to say is that we know it can feel like Hell because we’ve been there on both ends. But we are still people. Being in customer mode does not make you entitled because no, the customer is not always right. And no, the employee may not have all the answers, but you can bet that they will do their best to find out or to find someone who knows. So yelling about how we know nothing about our job and making everyone else nervous doesn’t make the employees or the company look bad, it just makes you look like an idiotic a$$. Because do you really think if we were stealing, that we would be working? If we really didn’t know what we were doing, what makes you the expert because unless you are currently an employee at that particular company, then you really don't know. (Policies and procedures tend to change in varying degrees only all the time anyway.)

Let's face it, Google knows

I know it’s not every customer, and I also know that not every employee is the Employee of the Month, but seriously take a look at yourself in the mirror and remember what kind of person you are. Because how you treat those that are there to help you, will show more about you as a person than the gift you buy for Christmas, or Easter, or the Fourth of July, or someone’s birthday.

Sincerely,

A person in employee mode.

It's Ok, I'm Not Offended

With all the talk lately about Plus is Equal and body shaming, I can’t honestly say that it has had a huge effect on me. I completely support these movements and all, but the fact remains is that it is just emphasized on specific parts of the country, the coast. Sadly where I live, important topics are important but the hottest topic that usually goes around town are politics, religion, and work. Size, I believe is one of those things where it should not be brought up in polite conversation.

The other day though, I encountered something that made me take a step back and think. It’s no secret that I’m the biggest person at work. It’s something that I’ve noticed since day 1, but I’m also the tallest standing at 5 foot 10 with flats on. I’ve had my fair share of customers shamelessly asking when I’m due or what I’m having. It just comes with the territory but it does bug the living hell out of me. That’s when I look them directly in the eye and tell them that I’m not pregnant, I’m just that big. Insert the washing of embarrassment and shame and queue the immediate walking away. I’d like to say that I’m just fat, but I don’t think that would be very professional, however it has almost slipped out. But the bottom line is that it’s just rude, like asking about a woman’s age, you just don’t do it.

Back to the event, I was helping a customer like normal. Wasn’t a huge deal and one of my managers came in to deliver some paperwork. They know each other and so while I was working on his stuff, he struck up a conversation with her. There was the typical polite conversation, questions about how things are going and the family. Then he just stops and looks her up and down and tells her that she looks like she’s lost weight. We, both, have a bit of a surprised face and I quickly go back to my work. Now he’s wanting to know what she’s been doing and how much she’s lost because she’s looking good and every passing second, we both are uncomfortable.

She goes to tell him that it’s unwanted weight loss, how she’s afraid she’s getting sick, like dire-something-is-wrong sick. Explains doctor’s visits and everything because losing weight is not what she wants and it is really worrying her. She's female, of course she has issues with her size, what woman doesn't? We all have something that we think would be better. I'm very much at peace with my size, but even with my own body confidence, there are some problem areas to me. Big girls have them, small girls have them, every one has them, even guys. 

At the end of the day, she says that she needs to speak to me about what had happened. I didn’t get it because if anything I should have apologized for the guy's rudeness. But after all, I think she felt bad about her losing weight and the whole conversation around me, where it’s obvious that I don’t have a lot of luck in the losing weight department. I was like no, no, you’re ok. I know how you feel about it and the whole thing was just rude to you. I don’t think I said it but I do hope that she knows that it’s ok that she wants to be the size she wants and even more so that she's healthy. 

Being happy with yourself and being healthy is so much more important than the vanity. She was made fun of for being thin, I was for being big. Two sides of the same coin, and yet most people would think that having trouble gaining weight is more of a blessing, and maybe to some it is but for a lot of others, it's the opposite. We’ve all got our things and we have built a thick skin to not particularly be outright offended. But a big thing about ‘Murica is that everyone is quick to cry ‘offended’ and ‘bullying’ and ‘shaming’. We got our big girl panties on and are grown women. I can understand not wanting to offend someone by saying something in the wrong way or it comes out weird that so many would just jump on, but while there are too many people out there wanting apologies for every opinion, I’m ok. Thanks for the consideration, but we have other things to worry about.



(On the other hand, if you aren't happy then do something about it, don't complain)