Streaming FOMO?

Like any other working, I don’t have a lot of time. And like a lot of people in the world, I don’t have cable so my tv watching goes to Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, etc. For some of my coworkers, it’s odd because I haven’t watched the latest episode of This Is Us or Empire or how the interwebs are handling the R Kelly docuseries. But online I normally find myself behind on the latest show trends like Riverdale and Sabrina (although I have started them but I’m still within the first few episodes)

Then the internet blew up with Bird Box. The clips, the ever-popular memes, and now the idiots have taken it and turned it into a challenge while simultaneously calling the magnificent Sandra Bullock...that lady. Yea that’s not ok. But all in all, the movie was really good. You do have to pay attention but it’s worth the hype.

Then in the spirit of New Year, new everything-even-though-it-ain’t-gonna-last, the world has now blown up with Tidying Up with Marie Kono. Now everyone is going through the clothes, books, paper, memes, people, etc wondering if they spark joy. Granted, I was doing the entirety of my laundry while binging it so I can’t say it wasn’t helpful and that there’s gonna be some good items for donation or for sale in my near future once I figure out Poshmark. lol

Now the ads have gone off on the new documentaries on Hulu and Netflix about the Fyre Festival. I remember hearing about it all over the twitterverse when it happened and I’m pretty sure Philip DeFranco, on YouTube, did a piece on it as well. I just know and the world knows it was a hot d@mn mess and while I haven’t seen it yet, some of the reactions make me want to see just how much of a hot mess it was.

Since getting in on the action (phrasing – name that reference) I couldn’t help but have a Carrie Bradshaw moment and wonder, is this feeling what causes people to have FOMO?

I’m a bit of a hermit, partly by choice and mostly not really so I’m used to being behind on things. I’m only a few episodes in on Riverdale and Sabrina so I can’t attest to too much in that conversation online and even less in person because most of my coworkers have small children so definitely a no-go a lot of those times. However, The Umbrella Academy is pretty freaking awesome and it just got renewed for season 2 even though A Day At Time was cancelled completely unceremoniously. But it was nice to see the memes, read and watch the reactions online and know what’s going on but I don’t think I’ve gone that far to reach the constant check and watching that I know some people make.

 

Maybe I’m a little more go with the flow and Netflix and chill out rather than having a rat race to the finish line. Guess we’ll find out but for now, I have a lot of things on my watch list that are genuinely sparking my interest and it give me joy and don't get me started on Game of Thrones... it's coming.

What are you watching?

Check out some of my other posts

Hello, I'm Shrill Too ~ http://bit.ly/ShrillToo

Adulting Win ~ http://bit.ly/Adultwin

Sick Tips ~ http://bit.ly/SickTips18


and follow a girl on Blogloving ~ http://bit.ly/MyBloglovinPg
and follow a girl on the Instagram ~ http://bit.ly/MyIgJazz

Hello, I'm Shrill Too

So Shrill has hit the Hulu and I had no idea. I was on the Instagram as one does after the Grampocalypse that, at least was, for me, just slightly annoying but some people really lost they shiz. But one of the peeps I follow, Marge Hudson aka @areyoutheregoditsmemarge, opened my eyes to what is happening on the interwebs and I had to be apart of it.

Thankfully, I have a day off of work and was planning on totally and completely taking advantage of it. So I had to see what was going and oh my sweet eleven pound baby Jesus, this was phenomenal! The main character is Annie, Aidy Bryant, and she is the me and the many others who have gone through anything similar who doesn't fit in a sample size. It was shocking and beautifully done. I also want so much to have a Fran, Lolly Adefope, in my life just FYI. 

From episode one, the story is on the move and things are moving very quickly. But I could relate to this show if you haven't figured that out. Now, I don't know if her wardrobe was modestly chosen on purpose because she likes it but feels the need to 'cover up' or what. I just watched the season and here I am so don't @ me. However comma, I felt it because I know in high school, I drove my bff and my mom crazy because my standard wardrobe were jeans and a t-shirt of darker tones. I upped my makeup and accessory game where I could but always double guessing affections from the opposite sex. I mean, hell, who hasn't been called a flipper when your supposedly bisexual boyfriend cheats on you with a guy friend? (For the record, I was the last girl he had as a girlfriend and there's no confusion about the intentions in hindsight and in true Ariana fashion, I'm thankful for him because I now have my ride or die, my person, my best friend for life who is also his ex.) 

I've had the thoughts where I've thought that a going-on-the-back-door-better-than-nothing feeling was as good as it was going to get. And the mental change that Annie has starts to resonate as the season goes on and that is something that some people have at different times in life and if someone hasn't, I have a feeling that it will help someone get to that point to where they can start loving themselves and stop apologizing for taking space in the world.

Even now with my new position, I'm again the biggest person in the building of about a dozen-ish and while it's not intentional most of the time, it's noticed that one does not belong or one does not mesh. Even our personalities are quite a bit different and I've seen clients do a double take for crying out loud. 

So it's there, it's not just a show catering to the plus sized community about empowerment but it's also shows the ugly parts that come with it. It happens and people on the internet are cruel but confronting enemies in person, you find how much they hate themselves because you don't have to hate you and they can't handle it. Let that sink in, they, who hate you, can't handle you loving yourself because the standards of the world have always said that you shouldn't, so they don't. Can it still hurt? Abso-f*cking-lutely. Can it suck that your crush in school calls you a hog to your face and your choice is to cry or pull it together and attack verbally because you are not about to be suspended? Hell to the yea. But here we are, being represented anyway on the internet in a show that will definitely take off because in case you haven't been bombarded, the average size of a woman in the US is 14 or 16, can't remember at the moment but it's not a 2. There are more of us than they know what to do with so someone has decided that if you can't beat them, because let's be honest they can't keep us down if they tried, join them and realize that we are human and we are not going away. We are gorgeous. We are fashionable and stylish. We can and deserved to be loved for who we are regardless of our size. We will stand and bring each other up more than those who are determined to bring us down. 

So I will add that this to a couple other faves in my book that remind me that I'm here and need to live my best life with the good and bad because it's all I got:

Also a book - Just saying...

Gumption - nuff said

And it's a book. You can bet your butt I'm buying and reading!

Also thank you Marge, I sent you a DM about it, but I wanted to do it again because I've also not posted on my blog since, like, August and my first thought was to do this. I'm going to ride this euphoria as long as I can. Until I can get more up, look at some of my older stuff.

B3 is my motto - http://bit.ly/The3BBBz

Adulting - http://bit.ly/Adultwin

Follow me on Blogloving if you wanna - http://bit.ly/MyBloglovinPg

OR

on the Insta since it's back up - http://bit.ly/MyIgJazz

 

Bra Talk

There are days...... and then there are days where circumstances dictate what has to happen for that day. As a plus sized woman, there are certain standards that society will always be violated and for those that are offended, sorry your life sucks. It took me a long time to be comfortable with myself and every now and then, sometimes I gotta smack myself and remind myself that I’m fabulous. I had one of those moments this morning.

Aside from being B3 (Big, Bad, and Beautiful), I have always enjoyed the size of my chest, my bust, my rack of power if you will. I was a B cup in 6^th grade and have only leveled up from there. But like any great power comes greater responsibility and I take it very seriously in the bra department. These girls need the support to be properly and tastefully on display and for that, I don’t mind spending a decent amount of money on quality bras from Lane Bryant. Nothing against Victoria’s Secret, but they don’t carry my size in store and if I’m going to spend an arm and a possible leg on bras, I want to be able to try them on before I buy them so thank you Lane Bryant for taking my money willingly in exchange for great bras that don’t stop working and are pretty too.

Since learning about and dealing with my new disease, I’ve been trying to keep an open mind and a closed wallet, however, my biggest complaint about losing weight is that my bras don’t fit right. I prefer padded and underwired and anyone who wears this combo knows that if it doesn’t fit, you will most likely be in pain. And I have been because with all the changes happening to my body and lifestyle, I can’t afford to replace them and then find out that I’d need to change them again. So I went to the only store I would and could go to and made a choice to try a bandeau bra slash bralette.

maurices carries straight sizes and plus size bralettes!

I’ve seen them everywhere on the interwebs and they are all the rage, but I’ve always been under the impression that they weren’t for me because I’ve normally seen them on smaller women with smaller busts. Finding these in my size at maurices was a surprise and a sign to bite the bullet and not knock it til I try it, especially considering these cost, literally, a third of what I would pay for a regular bra.

With the inflammation in my joints, there are some days where I can’t put on a bra because my hands can’t and won’t grip it. So here I am trying these little barely padded, no wire, basically tube tops and half of me is wanting to smack myself for going out in public for fear of rejection and ridicule. The other half was the half I listened to because I was able to mentally smack myself harder with the fact that if it feels good and it looks good, then it could be a beautiful relationship.

This style is cute and probably the most comfortable thing to wear on my ta-tas

And guess what? As I'm writing this.... this is my first day not just wearing it in public, but at work in a professional atmosphere and so far it feels wonderful.  I’m comfortable and the girls aren’t going wild without wires. My mind is going, if it feels great now, what about in other outfits for regular wear like sleeveless, razorbacks, scoop necks, off the shoulder, spaghetti straps, etc????? The possibilities are endless so take it from me, take a chance and try it, whatever ‘it’ may be.



And in the mean time, catch up on some of my other posts....

Smell Good Stuff - http://bit.ly/2vT879v

June in Summertime - http://bit.ly/2uD9o4o

Modern Window Shopping - http://bit.ly/2sG527o

The Full Figure Picture Still Going Forward

http://weartv.com/news/local/local-boutique-saves-the-day-after-a-teen-is-fat-shamed

I came across ^^^ this article ^^^ on the facebook of a friend. I've never been to Florida or even heard of this store but this story really hit me in the feels.

Mother and daughter go to find a dress for Homecoming and the sales rep gives her the signature up and down look at her daughter and shuts her down. It may not have been a harsh as Regina George getting told to go to Sears after not fitting in a size 5, but trust me when I tell you that it feels like that and about 99 times worse. After getting nowhere with corporate, a boutique was able to find a fabulous solution.

Now Grace Tennyson, the author of the article, mentions that Megan regular wore junior size clothing in that store. In my mind, there really shouldn't have been an issue at a department store but in this case it was and Megan was shut down completely and publicly.

I remember having this moment in high school trying to find a dress for Homecoming my Senior Year. I was nominated for Homecoming Queen and so proper formal attire was required. Nothing made me more nervous because at that time there wasn't a store that carried plus size formal wear that I could afford. I could have tried the prom store but I wasn't about to ask my parents to fork over $400 for a dress that I couldn't try on and that option was more than likely plain black....Hell, I didn't even buy either of my prom dresses at the prom store, and online shopping wasn't an option with dial up.

Forgive the picture - It's the only one I have that's mainly full length and pretty sure it was taken on a 35mm film camera and I needed to hide my cousin for obvious reasons. But you get the point...

I was plus size then, and now, but I was also taller than the average girl so I already knew trying to find something floor length would also be slim to none. After driving 4 hours away to the city, I could only find one dress that was semi appropriate, though my dad hated it, and it required some adjustments on my body's part, the shapewear and the strategies to keep the gorgeous fishtail front from riding up too high when I walked. And I don't recall being helped by an associate at all. Not when I was grabbing the displays off the walls to check at the tags to pray that there was an XL. Not when my mom had multiple dresses thrown over her shoulder while I changed in the dressing room hating life because it was too short off the floor or too short and close to the lady bits or cut just low enough that the school would complain about my chest making a bigger appearance than me.

To be honest, I got lucky. I wasn't the only plus sized nominee that year and we all had the same problem whether we admit it or not. Now did we make it work? Of course because we do that and are used to it. I loved the dress and enjoyed the day. Have I worn it since? absolutely not. Just like my high school graduation dress which was also a bit too short and too low cut for a sundress and my prom dress was about 4 inches off the ground that I was able to buy off of a friend of the family who wore it as a bridesmaid dress. We made due with what we had.

Granted, Tennyson doesn't mention how much the dress was before or after the fitting but the important part is that someone cared enough to make this young lady feel special and beautiful whether she is considered a straight size or plus size. High school is hell enough whether we know it during or realize it years after. So for this owner, I tip my metaphorical hat and give you much applause because there's a lot of us women now, who weren't able to have that option then and those who still don't now. And yet, you made the effort to show that this girl should most definitely feel like a million bucks and the pictures in the article show her believing that she is worth the million bucks.

“I think that everyone is beautiful and should feel that way.” - Deborah West, owner of the boutique

It goes to show that there is progress out there. It still seems slower than molasses on a white Christmas morning most times, but it's still progress. Stories like this are the shining light of hope. We, as curvy or plus or full figured or the B3s, have some more options now that weren't there before and I know that it will grow even more so that less people, girls and boys and everyone in between, don't have moments like so many of us, including Megan, had. I hope that she went to Homecoming and rocked the ever living Hell out of that dress with the gusto that comes with feeling like a rock star.






If you'd like to check out some of my other posts, here's a few topics I cover that you can always find on Bloglovin:

http://bit.ly/MyBloglovinPg


Posts like this:

Operation Ducks in a Row - Relationships and Life - http://bit.ly/10GTWODIAR

Tag! How much is my face worth? - http://bit.ly/MyFaceis

10 Pokewalk Essentials (because I'm a nerd like that :] ) - http://bit.ly/10PokeWalk

Tales of the Tank (aka my Purse) My 50 Cal Clutch - http://bit.ly/TOTT50Cal

Calm Your Tits! Seriously...

Ok so I need to get this out because somebody out in the interweb of haterland let their cheese slide off their cracker. I came across a post that I initially just gazed and scrolled and immediately had to take a double take and scroll back.

Reasons why small boobs are better than big boobs

Insult me all you want but when you start talkin about the girls, the Rottweilers with no names, the tata’s, the balls that are bigger than guy’s balls then you’ve just insulted my soul. I was ready to tear this stupid post apart! But honestly their arguments had no meat to it. (pun intended)

Their supposed reasons to shame the chests that hold the power to the universe included remarks like:

·       You can wear different bras – obviously notating the lack of variety that tends to be in larger sizes (who would have thought about that). My solution is stop trying to find bras at Wal-Mart. Victoria Secret doesn’t carry my bra size but I invest my hard working money into wonderful, quality, beautiful, patterned, solid, nude, lacy and racy bras from Lane Bryant and am really wanting to try the bras at Torrid.

·      Popping out- busty girls like myself always get this. Because some of us are more endowed than others, we automatically become unclassy, unprofessional and/or cheap when it comes to rocking a low cut anything. And then there are times where it’s not low cut and they can still runneth over, but most times that’s not the plan.  All I can say is that if I want you to see them, then you’ll see them. That doesn’t make me ‘whorrable’, it’s confidence.

·       Perky – noting that gravity is terrible and causes a lot of changes to take place throughout life. But here’s the kicker about this guys. Over time, we become older and all of us tends to sag in places we don’t want them too. (and if you didn’t read this with sarcasm, take a second and reread it please) It’s about health. If you take care of your ta ta’s when you’re younger along with the rest of yourself, then you’ll be just fine. My grandmothers are in their seventies and saggy girls are not an option.

·         Man attention – the particular caption was in reference to the distracting nature of the glorious beasts and the effects they can have on the opposite sex. But trying to say that I can never get a guy to make eye contact with me because he’s looking at my chest is like saying that a movie is better than the book it was based off of. Sometimes they stare yes, and sometimes they don’t. But last I checked, for those who stared, it was because you have breasts and carry two X chromosomes. I won’t lie to you and say that bigger boobs won’t get more attention, but another way to see it is that you gots da power! Over yourself, over that particular situation, over whether to get offended or to turn the tables in your favor.

·         Hard Life – throwing in struggles about back problems, the horrors of sports bras. And unfortunately yes there are women everywhere who struggle with their chest area. Some can afford to change that and some just make it with the hand they’re dealt. Sports bras are necessary for workouts or really anywhere that the dogs gotta be tied down. I don’t know of any woman with big or small titties that works out without one. There is a place and time to be wild and free, and the gym is not one of those times.

I got through the entire post with a giant ? on top of my head. Big boobs aren’t a death sentence and neither are small boobs. People with boobs have these problems regardless of size. So I really don’t know if maybe some sights are just really struggling for something to grab attention or what, but really internet, be original. If you want to bring the busty chests down to bring the small boobies up, don’t because they’re equal in the amount of pros and cons. There are people with bulldogs who’d rather have Chihuahuas and vise versa. I, myself, have always loved my bust. I weep for the breast cancer survivors because I can’t imagine my life without my chest and they do it every single day. I tip my hat and heart to them and to this dumb post, I can’t even bring myself to post the link, because obviously whoever is writing for you has some self-confidence issues. Put on some Demi with her Confident song and get over it and love what your mama gave ya.

It's Ok, I'm Not Offended

With all the talk lately about Plus is Equal and body shaming, I can’t honestly say that it has had a huge effect on me. I completely support these movements and all, but the fact remains is that it is just emphasized on specific parts of the country, the coast. Sadly where I live, important topics are important but the hottest topic that usually goes around town are politics, religion, and work. Size, I believe is one of those things where it should not be brought up in polite conversation.

The other day though, I encountered something that made me take a step back and think. It’s no secret that I’m the biggest person at work. It’s something that I’ve noticed since day 1, but I’m also the tallest standing at 5 foot 10 with flats on. I’ve had my fair share of customers shamelessly asking when I’m due or what I’m having. It just comes with the territory but it does bug the living hell out of me. That’s when I look them directly in the eye and tell them that I’m not pregnant, I’m just that big. Insert the washing of embarrassment and shame and queue the immediate walking away. I’d like to say that I’m just fat, but I don’t think that would be very professional, however it has almost slipped out. But the bottom line is that it’s just rude, like asking about a woman’s age, you just don’t do it.

Back to the event, I was helping a customer like normal. Wasn’t a huge deal and one of my managers came in to deliver some paperwork. They know each other and so while I was working on his stuff, he struck up a conversation with her. There was the typical polite conversation, questions about how things are going and the family. Then he just stops and looks her up and down and tells her that she looks like she’s lost weight. We, both, have a bit of a surprised face and I quickly go back to my work. Now he’s wanting to know what she’s been doing and how much she’s lost because she’s looking good and every passing second, we both are uncomfortable.

She goes to tell him that it’s unwanted weight loss, how she’s afraid she’s getting sick, like dire-something-is-wrong sick. Explains doctor’s visits and everything because losing weight is not what she wants and it is really worrying her. She's female, of course she has issues with her size, what woman doesn't? We all have something that we think would be better. I'm very much at peace with my size, but even with my own body confidence, there are some problem areas to me. Big girls have them, small girls have them, every one has them, even guys. 

At the end of the day, she says that she needs to speak to me about what had happened. I didn’t get it because if anything I should have apologized for the guy's rudeness. But after all, I think she felt bad about her losing weight and the whole conversation around me, where it’s obvious that I don’t have a lot of luck in the losing weight department. I was like no, no, you’re ok. I know how you feel about it and the whole thing was just rude to you. I don’t think I said it but I do hope that she knows that it’s ok that she wants to be the size she wants and even more so that she's healthy. 

Being happy with yourself and being healthy is so much more important than the vanity. She was made fun of for being thin, I was for being big. Two sides of the same coin, and yet most people would think that having trouble gaining weight is more of a blessing, and maybe to some it is but for a lot of others, it's the opposite. We’ve all got our things and we have built a thick skin to not particularly be outright offended. But a big thing about ‘Murica is that everyone is quick to cry ‘offended’ and ‘bullying’ and ‘shaming’. We got our big girl panties on and are grown women. I can understand not wanting to offend someone by saying something in the wrong way or it comes out weird that so many would just jump on, but while there are too many people out there wanting apologies for every opinion, I’m ok. Thanks for the consideration, but we have other things to worry about.



(On the other hand, if you aren't happy then do something about it, don't complain)

#ROCKTHECROPTOP or in My Case....#DeerintheHeadlights

So if for some reason you haven't heard about it, I'm not sure where you've been. I saw it first on the Instagram and a hashtag later, it was instantly everywhere. O Magazine, the literature of the one and only Oprah, the spawn of one of the most powerful women alive had a pretty big hiccup for the world to see. Set the dramatic scene of a fifties cop interrogation room, black and white, bright light bulb in yo face!

The question, "Can I pull off a crop top?"

It could have gone many ways and the way it went, well you can imagine after seeing...

"If (and only if) you have a flat stomach...." And the internet blew up.

Body shaming is getting to be an increasingly hot topic. Be it fat shaming, skinny shaming, shaming shaming, it's everywhere. And it's brought out an amazing amount of wonderful women in all shapes and sizes throwing out the #ROCKTHECROPTOP tag, One being Gorgeous in Grey, (love reading her stuff).

I don't blame people for being outraged, uncomfortable, and offended. Part of me does too, but honestly only part. The other part wants to agree for all the wrong reasons.

After reading a lot of responses to the O Magazine Crop-gate, Carrie Bradshaw really wondered how I felt about it. I have never worn a crop top in my life. My dad is super conservative when it comes to the amount of skin I show. If I have on a camisole, then I need pull it up to show less cleavage, which is not easy with DD doggies, and try to not have my bra straps show so much. Strapless tops could only be worn around the house and if I thought about going outside to the laundry room, I had "better put a shirt on". Even I got older and became more comfortable with my size, I never considered a crop top. When they came back in style, I thought well that's cute but just not for me.

FIRST Problem, I had never tried to wear one. There's a quite a few ways to wear them and I am 0 to 100+. So in my mind, this doesn't even count as an excuse, but here it is.

SECOND Problem, I don't think that it would look good on me. First go back to the first problem, and add this to it. Even though I am comfortable with my size, I am still having some issues. I was used to wear my loss and gains usually went and that was to my hips and thighs, but not so much my mid section. Now...not so much the case and I can be open with the fact that it's an area I need to work on in my own way and in my own time.

THIRD Problem, there are things in life that sometimes help or hurt you. In my little equally as conservative town, there's a certain way to act in and outside of work. In my current position, I find myself seeing a lot of my customers even outside of work and I refuse to not be my bright and shiny self. But on the other hand, I don't want to talk about work. When I leave then I am no longer obligated to drop everything and take care of someone else's needs. But I also can't be rude because duh, mama didn't raise no fool. But I can still say that my confidence has taken a bit of a dip because being ON, for a lack of better words, is exhausting and I can't be me and I'm slowly retreating towards an old shell I had for a long time.

So while all these beautiful people are peeking that tummy, I'm in my head saying, "but I wear layers on a daily basis." I am usually wearing 2+ tops. I think my max was 4 tops and a jacket. And I've been doing that since high school to help smooth things out before I found shape wear and then actually bought shape wear. It makes me nervous, hence my deer in the headlights looks because yes, there is a part of me that says "YES, I have to get in this." Then I have to pull my fist pump down from the air and whisper, "but you don't have a crop top and probably wouldn't wear it anyway..." Not a nice thought. Gonna have to get this duck in a row as well. (Which if you don't know, was my last post so check that out too)

All in all, shoutout to the ladies who are bold and confident enough to rock the hell out of the crop top and you guys are my inspiration to get to that point, because it is doable, right?

Operation Ducks in a Row

There is something I want to get off my chest. I don’t think I’m the only one who feels this way but I gotta let it out. As an avid shopper of clothes, I can’t say that I suffer from a shopping problem because let’s be honest, I highly enjoy it. But, sadly there always has to be a but, I finally see that I have a slight problem as I have run out of space for them.

"I like my money right where I can see it.....hanging in my closet." - Carrie Bradshaw

Now I know that laundry day is never just a day and it never ends, but have you ever that those days where you get the majority of it done and the tiny closet is full? Turn around and the drawers are full? The scarf rack is always full and the dreaded chair is a Tower of Pisa. I’m seeing that more and more often and it makes me uneasy. Carrie Bradshaw can’t help but wonder, does this make me a fashion horder or just a hot mess?

It’s obvious to say that trends are constantly changing but sometimes we have to think a little deeper than that. I’ve been going through my closet and trying to sort and organize. What I have found are clothes that I wore in high school. Some still fit and I still wear and then there are some that I don’t wear as much. There are some that I had in college for just about every situation. Being in the music and theatre department, I had recital attire, audition attire, going-to-the-club attire complete with accessories and shoes. Then job attire. Now on campus, I didn’t have to wear slacks everyday but I always felt that I should dress a little nicer than just a t-shirt.

Don’t get me wrong, there were a few days where I couldn’t handle the world and I would wear a campus t-shirt or even one of my high school band shirts. But there was always a balance, because I would semi dress it up with accessories and better makeup; a trick I learned in high school because I didn’t have access to online shopping and buying clothes in my hometown was leaving my hometown and driving a couple hours away. I did what I could, and whatever clothes I had, I took care of and held to like a kid with his blanky.

That’s my problem now. I’ve been so used to metaphorically and slightly literally clutching my clothes and am always so excited when I have more that now..... my ‘clutter’ is now just an outright mess. If you’ve been to my Pinterest boards, you will see my pins for organizing and ideas for putting different outfits together, etc etc. I can now go back and actually read up and start applying because what’s going on right here is not ok.  I can admit that I am a messy person and people who have known me in my life can attest to that. It’s gradually gotten better over time, you know slowly but surely. I’m an organized chaos kind of girl but even I know that what is happening now is just a hot mess.

So I write before you and I plan on giving some updates over time to see what works and what doesn’t. I don’t let go of things, especially things I love, so it’s not gonna be easy but it needs to be done. So it begins, Operation Ducks in a Row.





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Lilly Pulitzer - Who's Shaming Who?

If you hadn’t heard already from the Twitter or on the news, there’s been a new wave of so-called fat shaming when it comes to this brand. But honestly in my opinion, I think there may have a point somewhere that’s missing.

To give a short version of a long and dramatic story, The Cut did a story and took a tour of the Lilly Pulitzer HQ. And snapped these pictures that were hanging in an employee’s cubicle. Cue the internet and cue the metaphorical shiz hitting the ceiling fan that was running on high.

(and obviously I don't own these pics) 

Now I can agree with every fiber of my bean (yes, bean) that these photos are not ok to be in a place of business. Does it reflect bad on the company? Absolutely. These were hung in plain sight and no one thought anything was wrong. And of course, they covered their butt when they said that it was an individual’s ‘decorations’ and don’t reflect the views of the company.

And why would they? They just had a deal with Target to offer plus sizes…online only. They were able to get well known bloggers on board to help with the angry herd that is constantly getting thrown out of stores and into the exclusive online store. I can say that I was pretty stoked for knowing about a line that would be a bit more affordable than some of the over options there, but yea. Online. Another mystery of measurements and size guessing. I don’t even have a local Target, I have to drive a couple hours away to get to one, like I do with the other stores that only offer online plus sizes or just aren’t close enough to me to try things on. Big woop. But the point is that I highly doubt that L.P. would purposely sabotage the projected progress they are trying to make.

Everyone is up in arms about these pictures and while I don’t blame them, I do think everyone needs to take a step back and really think about this situation. Was it pointed towards the plus size community in order to show true colors of the brand? I half way doubt it but honestly that’s just something we may never know for sure and even if that is what the general feels are about the b3 women of the world, what idiot would purposely leave that out? That would be a one way ticket out of that job if it was left up to me because like I said, they are trying to expand, even if it’s only online at Target. They are attempting to take that bungee jump of faith, these pictures essentially snap the line that keeps you alive. Businesses don’t do that on purpose.

I believe in the depths of my heart that a deeper issue lies within the company. Think about it. These are ‘decorations’ in an employee’s cubicle. That employee sees that all day, every day. The bigger issue is that this person is trying to reach out. It could be for help, for attention, for just someone to notice. We don’t know but what you do in your work space speaks volumes about you as a person and an employee. So to that employee, these pictures tell me that you hate yourself and your body. You don’t think you belong there. You don’t love you let alone where you work or what you are doing in life. This is not ok!!!

Any half-assed supervisor or even a cubicle neighbor should have done something. They don’t promote a good message or positive work environment. Just pointing them out to say hey, this isn’t a good idea would have been better than pretending it wasn’t there. Most places have some sort of counseling or guidance and a company as big as L.P. would have somewhere to go or someone to talk to and this employee needs that. This company needs to know what is going on with their employees. This isn’t a train wreck aftermath, this is someone watching someone else stuck on the tracks with the train a few miles out and yet they just set up the lawn chair facing the other direction. Or in plain English, This could have been prevented!

Everyone is up in arms about fat shaming that sometimes we forget that there are other victims out there who are still battling themselves. This person had this toxic message for themselves. How many of us have done that? For a good number of us, our lives were constant messages about how terrible we are for our size and that we should be ashamed. I know I did. I had my voice along with a string of people’s voices saying the worst and it eats you from the inside out. It’s not easy to get out of but it’s possible to get out of that mind set and to learn to love yourself. Isn’t that what our Plus Size Movement is about? Helping us love us for who we are regardless of our size? I think too many of us are missing that in this situation. 

Here’s one article about it that I got the most information from, so read it and maybe you’ll see what I see. And I hope that this troubled person gets some help and realizes that she (probably a she) is worthy of love and should love herself.

 http://www.businessinsider.com/lilly-pulitzer-fat-shaming-cartoons-2015-5

Phat Girls

Ok ready the soap box ladies, I need to ascend. Now I understand that due to technology and laziness, the human mind has a tendency to go blahhhhhhh *cue drool*. So many people do not have an imagination or just are at a lack of words. I can’t narrow that down to just men, because it’s women too. Maybe it’s because I see myself as creative or maybe I’m just a smart a$$, but I’ve also seen where different people, especially women, don’t approve of being described as plus size. It’s a matter of preference, yes, but I am also not the type of person to say don’t call me fat because it’s bullying or offensive.

Honestly, I don’t know why some people don’t like to be called plus size, but I can only imagine that it goes hand in hand with my distaste for the description of “chubby”.  When I hear chubby, I picture a child or toddler who hasn’t lost their baby fat or a kid who doesn’t know better. It’s also said to me with a tone of pity and shame and I’m not ok with that. I know I have mentioned it before about being the biggest woman at work, that’s a given. It’s not a shame, it just is. So when I ask customers if they remember which person they talked to, it’s either the lady in the big office, the corner office, the one in the middle and the chubby one…..see the difference yet???

I understand that my size is the first thing people see when they see me, but come one people! Have you no other way to describe a person? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t need a customer to call up and describe me as bodacious or voluptuous, because that is super weird and creepy. I know I’m big, you know I’m big. If you feel the need to address someone by their size, keep it short and simple, say big or bigger. It’s not derogatory, it just is. I’m big, as captain obvious may say, so don’t think you’re doing anyone favors when dancing around words and round arm gestures to describe a person. Open up a thesaurus for crying out loud.

It's Not What You Know, It's Who You Know

Well the day has come to screw up our sleep schedules and question which time is the real time. So far I've gotten two clocks changed over with whole Daylight Savings and still need about a zillion other clocks to change or at least that is what it feels like. But there's so much more that goes with today.

Today would have been my Abuelito's 76th birthday. He was almost there and so my family back home went together and had a dinner all dressed in blue to celebrate his life and legacy. 5 healthy, for the most part, children and their spouses with grand kids and even great grand kids. It just goes to further show how much of life we spend. Whether it's on worry or fear or excitement. We have just one life to live and going through the motions in survival mode are not exactly living.

With the change in the time is coming the change in the season and it is sparking a possible change in life. I don't get to many of these and while I do my best to adapt and lead especially for my family's sake, this could potentially be the scariest. I don't want to go into details because all of it is still hypothetical but possible and probable. I'm used to doing things alone but I have found in this short amount of time, that who know has a big impact on how you see things.

My mom always said to me, tell me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are. And in so many ways that is true, but so much of what even I don't realize is that there are definitely people out there who actually do give a damn. (excuse the French) After this time with my family in their mourning and coming back to somewhat of a routine has shown me that there is a change that needs to happen. I think everyone has these things.

As we grow, not just in year's and experience but just grow, we evolve ourselves. Our tastes changes, our priorities, our everything shifts. That could potentially lead to moving away or changing jobs or even just changing your wardrobe. That's one of the steps I did today with the help of a wonderful person who just started out being on of my customers.

Just like any small town, you get to know the people. And this woman has always put a smile on my face any time I see her. She's so full of life and even when things have brought her down, she still smiles and moves forward. She's accomplished a feat for herself by losing over sixty pounds and counting. She looked fabulous before and still does now, but she had found herself with a wardrobe that hung off of her and her first thought was me. It's not hard to see that I'm the biggest person at work but I do pride myself on being able to dress for my size and shape. She let me into her wonderful walk in closet and all but threw clothes at me to try on. Some I had seen her wear and so many that still had tags. She gave me first dibs and I was able to get about $200 or more of clothes for $40. She talked me up and down and while in the beginning I thought it was only because I could do my job well, she saw me as a good enough person to open up her home to and to even think of me and the joy that this gesture has done.

I, now, am thoroughly excited to go to work tomorrow in a new ensemble. It's a great feeling when people want you to succeed in life and I wish her all the best and will wear these clothes out. She's one of a couple people in my life especially lately that have brought some great meaning into my life that could make these potential future changes happen.

So be careful not to burn bridges. You don't know who else out there can see the good in you. It's like my theatre professors say...that no one can get to the top by themselves. Someone knows someone somewhere who could be the one to change your life. And since we are wanting for the better, know that when you know what you know, keep in mind who you know, because that will be your edge.

Emergencies

Everyone has their own interpretation of what an emergency is. There’s the actual 9-1-1 emergency. There’s an emergency where you start your period the day before an event and bloat so much that the zipper of the dress doesn’t budge. It’s always an emergency when you’re wearing white with small children around at lunch. The point is that it varies between actual life and death and ego bruising or embarrassment. Well let me tell you that I have done a triathlon of all these in one in the span of a couple weeks.

Now part of me wants to say what exactly happens and while I wouldn’t mind, some others may. On top of that, I’ve been really trying to live in a body positive light while knowing that my family medical history isn’t the greatest and that will most definitely be out there. But the thing to remember is that much of my own family medical history is NOT caused by being overweight. Let me repeat that, many health issues that my family goes through is NOT caused by being overweight. Does it help? No. We know that, so while it’s not my New Year’s Resolution to lose weight and be thin. My life goals are to be healthy and if I happen to lose a few pounds from it, cool. If not, cool.

But in this last week, I have been to 3 hospitals in two cities for 3 different family members. The hard part was that we came back with 2 family members. My mom’s mom and my dad’s dad were in two separate hospitals at the same time and unfortunately, God had called my Abuelito to rest after some heavy complications after fighting 2 batches of cancer and sepsis. My grandma came through her surgery and was able to go home a few days later where we found out that my dad had a broken leg a week after a bad fall.

Pretty much everyone has missed at least a week of work and school.

I flew from home #2 to go to the hospital and then to home with limited supplies. And surprisingly made it without using too much money. I don’t know how many of you make emergency trips out of town, but maybe what I’ve done can help you when you’re out of your mind and need to drive or fly out as soon as possible.

A good size overnight bag is your friend – this one was a Christmas gift from Ulta. It's a little smaller than a duffel bag and has the ability to roll.

Good fitting pair of jeans – doesn’t need to be the fanciest pair but if you’re expecting to sit for a while on a drive or sleep in a waiting room, may as well be comfy (thank you maurices)

Camisoles – I had two with me. I normally wear them on a daily basis anyway so these are some of the first things I pack

Oversized t-shirt and basketball shorts – you don’t need silk pj’s but a t shirt covers most everything and lets you unwind without being confined. Whether they are yours or your significant others or just a pack from the men's dept, just take them. You’ll thank yourself later.

Couple of blouses – it could be a couple of graphic tees or in my case, was one graphic tee and one actual blouse in case I needed to leave early in the morning for work…which I did.

Socks and underwear – I am a firm believer that you cannot pack too many. Whether you’re expecting to be gone a couple days or a week, pack at least a few days worth if not a week's worth because who knows, you may end up seeing Aunt Flo.

Optional – Slacks/dress pants or a work outfit – I tend to leave in the mornings for work which isn’t usually a big deal because my hometown is two hours away from where I live so I just wake up early and get to work. So I make sure to bring dress pants, a blouse, and flats. Just something simple, yet appropriate.

Accessories – it’s not that important but some quick things to grab to last you a while: A neutral scarf, small earrings or studs, and a watch. Put it all, minus scarf, in a smaller bag so you’re not emptying your bag in front of God and everyone.

I was able to make it a week at home with limited clothes and still had something to wear to the funeral. A quick wash later and I was able to come back to work without too much worry. So read it over and I hope this helps someone in their own emergency, whatever kind it may be.

Signature Style

Call me typical, call it dumb, call it whatever. I don't care. I love reading me some Cosmopolitan. In this recent issue, there was one article that really struck a chord with me and it was about signatures.

Everyone has their own style. It's great to go and experiment with different things, clothes, makeup, etc. We've all seen the pictures over years of all our "phases" in life, but there's always something you go back to. Something that signifies you to yourself and everyone knows that "IT" is your thing.

For Miranda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada, it was her Hermes scarves. For my grandma, its White Diamonds perfume. And for myself, my sister, my aunt/second mama, and my mama, it's the Maybelline Great Lash mascara in Royal Blue and a winged liner.

It's our thing. We'll mix it up but every time someone notices on me, the look on their faces is priceless. They always expect some super high end makeup when in all actuality its about $4-5 at Walgreens or Wal-Mart. I would buy it in bulk if I could. Now it may not be waterproof but it is thorough. It's standard, simple packaging with a standard, simple applicator. It's my rock of makeup and has my heart forever and a day.

Everyone needs their staple. We have fashion and makeup as a symbol of our individuality and creativity. The late Oscar De La Renta said, "Fashion is about dressing according to what's fashionable. Style is more about being yourself." We spend so much time trying this and that and keeping up with the new trends that it's nice coming back to something you know that works. It's easy that you can always come back to. It's comfortable and just makes you feel good. So find that signature and work it.

Just for Your FYI - I'm Not Your Bae - Torrid

This wonderful outfit from Torrid is fabulous and would be the only way I would acknowledge the word bae. I was never a fan of it and was one of those people who had to look it up when I heard it. (No shame or judgement) and what I found is that bae is Danish for poop, feces, crap shit, etc.
Urban dictionary defines it as a phrase of endearment as an acronym for 'Before Anyone Else'. Now maybe I'm just a English type person who tries her best to speak or write grammatically correct and fully understands that we all occasionally have a brain fart or three, but other people don't and it makes me question their IQ. 

Call it judgmental, call it stuck up, call me whatever you'd like but I didn't go to school to be called someone's crap or before anyone else. Since most tend to use it as a noun, it makes for sense to use it in the denotative state rather than the alternative. 

So in the end, kudos to Torrid for making me smile. That's all.

On A Scale of 1 - Even, I Can't Even

This past weekend I can't begin to tell you how excited I was. My boyfriend, knowing the nerd I am, decided we should go to a sing-a-long movie viewing of Pitch Perfect. Talk about aca-awesome. Not to mention it's our first trip of the year so it makes up for the few bad days I've already had. That night was nice, we ate, we drank, I sang my heart out and quoted nearly every word as did the rest of the room. Come to think of it I'll probably have a post about it a little later but for now.....

So the next day was just easy. Window shopped and did a little actual shopping, a little more than I should have, but then I ran into these at Forever 21. Stopped me dead in my tracks and now here we are.

My first initial thought was, "Is this some kind of joke?" I hoped and prayed it wasn't just on the plus size end and thankfully it wasn't. But honestly, how appealing are these? When did this become a thing and me apparently not get the memo?? They had a manikin or two dressed up in them where they tried to make it work and I give them kudos for trying but the only time I like wearing pants with an elastic waist band is in bed or at the gym. I know I'm lazy but this just takes it to a new level that is just beyond me.

I remember when I was younger and sometimes the only thing we could find to fit me were pants like this. But in my now, then, small town didn't have any resources let alone internet that wasn't dial up. Plus size clothes weren't where they are now and online shopping was all but the devil trying to get my parents card number and to top it off, dial-up. Nuff said. But the point is that I remember never feeling comfortable in them while everyone else in my class were wearing 'hip huggers'. I was already teased and ignored for being too smart and pants like this didn't help my twelve year old self to fit in.

Maybe it's just me and my bad memories of this but in my mind, fashion has come to far and yet things like this still make me feel like we are trying to be put back in our place. All I have to say about that is go ahead and try.

Feminism - It is what it is... right?

It's no secret that feminism has been around a while and a lot of the major issues have been getting some major attention. Birth control, abortion, the pay gap, etc. They can spark some major debates on both sides of the fence. But from what I thought feminism was to apparently what it gets translated to now are somewhat but not short of extremes.

Now I don't know about what you guys learned in history, but from what I understand, feminism was a powerful point in time when women bonded together for equal rights. For the right to vote, to be seen as a competent human being who's worth surpasses that of producing children and nothing more. For the right to choose who they wanted to be, whether it be a doctor or to even just to decide that they wanted to wear pants. Women wanted to be held accountable for more than what they were treated or brought up to be to make their own decisions and to be their own person by their own rules.

But now it seems that there was a shift in the meaning. Maybe it's just the connotation of it now or just the power of the few who ruined it for everybody in some way. I read on Twitter from E News about Kaley Cuoco(-Sweeting), from the amazing Big Bang Theory, stating that she doesn't consider herself a feminist. Here's the link.

http://www.eonline.com/news/609943/kaley-cuoco-sweeting-does-not-consider-herself-a-feminist-i-love-feeling-like-a-housewife

She has taken the role of a housewife with her married life. Cooking and cleaning and building a home for her family. She calls it old fashioned and that she really hasn't had to deal with inequality. People were in an uproar. All you have to do is look at the comments to it and see the madness happening on both sides. But the thing is that maybe she's not looking at the root of feminism but more what feminism is seen as now, aggressive, in-your-face, you're-with-us-or-against-us stance on life. But look deeper people:

* She is getting paid (at or about) a million dollars an episode like her male co-stars. There may be a difference in the actual number but that part I don't know for sure and if it was to be less then I'm sure she'd have negotiated it to equal because yes, she deserves it.

* She's owned up about her breast implants not to treated as a sex symbol but to her confidence. It was her decision and for her alone.

* Because she is working, she is supporting the family she is building by her own terms. If it was really the Republican Mother stance from US history, she wouldn't be working, wouldn't have a voice, and would end up seen and not heard with no legal rights to the money she is making.

From what I can gather about her relationship and about how many relationships are, and should be, is give and take. She may give him dinner and "serve" him five out of the Seven nights a week but he probably does other things in return for her. I'm glad she didn't have to (at least to me) fight for her million an episode or was required to get a boob job. Some of us are still fighting to get what we want and that's ok. She's still in control of her life and her own happiness and I think that was one of the goals of feminists in the first place.

Goal Clothes....Friend or Foe?

One of the many things that happens at work where 98% of us are women are the conversations. We are such an observant species that it just boggles my mind that we can agree and yet disagree about everything. I could get on a platform stage of a soap box the size of Carnegie Hall and break the walls down but I will step back and try to see this a few ways.

So I'm sure that everyone around this time of year has the annual Christmas parties. Some are extravagant with cocktail dresses and martinis and high heels and sneaky trips to the utility closet. They are filled with music and extravagant white elephant gifts with Christmas bonus declarations. Then there are some Christmas parties with both sides of the family getting together and everything goes wrong due to a squirrel and an untrained dog with a really lame Christmas bonus causing Cousin Eddy to go and kidnap your boss and deliver him in the middle of the living room with a giant red bow followed by an entire swat team coming in from every angle causing more damage than really necessary. Well I've never had either of those parties. We have pot lucks and leftovers for days.

I can understand that especially around the Holidays some people don't care about the amount of calories or carbs that happen and then there are some who decide to go on a diet right before the holidays. It's no secret that I've always been the biggest woman at work. But something that we all have at my place of work is our own sense of style. We like what we like and while recently some have been exiled from our dress code and from my work wardrobe, the topic of jeans come up.

Now depending on where you live, if you live in our west, dressing up can and often includes your nicest pair and best fitting jeans. Denim is practically in our blood and you don't ever let you go of them. Break out the Lord of the Rings meme,

Unless patching or sewing them back together doesn't hold both pieces of denim together, you wear the HELL out of them. But anyways, the whole point I'm trying to make is that somewhere in a drawer or in the back of the closet is that one pair. That one pair of jeans that you convince yourself if even for the smallest amount of time that you will fit back into. Miranda does it in Sex and the City, and from the sounds of it, every girl at work has one........but me.

Now don't get me wrong, I get the point of having goal jeans or goal clothes. Hanging up the bikini the first of January to get ready for "swimsuit season". And maybe the article of clothing holds some awesome memories that you want to try to reanimate? Maybe you felt the best about yourself in that particular article of clothing. Don’t get me wrong, I had them at one point in time. They weren't jeans but it was a pair of capris that I wore in Junior High......Junior high. I held onto them until I got to college and then I let them go.

It dawned on me that I didn't want to be that particular size, not because it was an unrealistic size goal, but a problem I tend to have is to live in the past. You can look at any person in my family and we will always talk about days gone by, the shoulda, woulda, coulda's and I just didn't want to do it anymore. It actually did the opposite of the motivation that so many others use it for. It made me realize that over time I have actually gone in the opposite direction of where I 'wanted' to be and I would look at the current me at whichever point in time I found those clothes and I felt terrible. Gut wrenching, Lifetime movie tear jerking terrible about the size I had become. So where I can see the point of the 'goal clothes', it is just a no go for me.

Cece Olisa from Plus Size Princess really put it into perspective for me in one of her posts about realizing that our size and our health is not on an annoying tag on the back of a shirt or jeans. It’s not about the number, it’s how we feel in what fits. Fits your shape, your personality and makes you feel like a million bucks. I don’t feel the need for ‘goal clothes’ but to each their own.

Apples to Apples

So this is one of those times where I'm alone in my head with my thoughts. Most times it's dangerous just like it would be for anyone else, but there is a plus side to it. You find out a lot of things that normally are literally in front of you but you never actually saw it. So in the midst of it all there are some revelations about who we are and how we see ourselves.

To stop beating around the bush, for those who know me it makes sense and for those that don't, you'll find I mention social media occasionally but I love it. Seriously, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest, Tumblr, etc, I got it. Many for different reasons but yes, I'm that person. Facebook keeps me in touch with peeps I know or knew. Twitter lets me know what's going on in the world. Instagram and Tumblr let me be as vain as I allow (yes Lady Gaga reference) and find other people's point of view. If you have to ask me about Pinterest, you don't have one and should go get one.

But I think that especially as a girl, we have a tendency to go thru everything and play apples to apples between our lives and those online, whether they are friends or family or celebrities, we do it. Part of it could be that it has been done throughout life from friends and family or if it's just a tendency of our current society. With our luck, it's both. I'm sure guys do it too but right now, that is not the point. I found myself going thru profiles, posts, and pictures of many a people thru my social media outlets and had to physically stop myself and say out loud, why am I doing this to myself?!?!?!?!

I compared, especially with people I've known forever, where they are and where I am. Result was a draw. What they looked like then and now, and of course they won. And it was because they are fitter, their room in the background of their selfies are spotless, they've traveled or have had some drastic life events that have turned life into their favor. And while I can say that I am genuinely happy for them and their happiness, I tore myself apart and have already kicked myself in the butt for doing that. OBVIOUSLY something needs to change and it starts not tomorrow, not Monday, it starts TODAY!

Yes, my previous roommates will tell you that I am messy. I am a firm practitioner of organized chaos and on occasion it will fall out of that and then I really know it's a problem to fix. I am obviously a person with bad habits when it comes to life and decisions. I have many good ones, don't get me wrong, but given the choice between doing something tomorrow and sleeping or hanging out today, there isn't a choice.

I will forever be a continuous work in progress when it comes to my life, my health, and my happiness. Writing this here really helps me put it into perspective and hold myself accountable because these toxic trends cannot happen anymore. I have to fight. We all have to fight. There's so much that just gets pushed aside that deep down bothers us to no end and it's not going to change unless something is done. So now I tell you here and now, that I am going to start doing. Not trying but doing. No more apples to apples. I'm in my own fantastic basket of sequins and glitter and it's time to start shining.

If I Want Your Shakes, I'll Ask

As anyone who has ever worked in customer service knows, you get a lot of different people. People you like, and a lot that you don’t. Between the regulars, the sweet old people and the not-so-sweet ones, somewhere in there you have the independent entrepreneurs who are trying their hand at whatever they are selling. Now most of the time I don’t mind, hearing their shpeal as I had tried my hand at selling Mary Kay at one point in time, unfortunately it didn’t work out for me. However lately, I’ve had the wellness gurus come in spouting their specific benefits to me after being looked up and down.

I don’t blame them, they are trying to do their job, but it really bugs me that I’m always the one they go to first as if they are my savior. Yes, I know I am the biggest person here, but that is nothing new. Yes, everyone can make healthier decisions, however, just because I am this size does not automatically mean that I am looking for a product to lose weight. Some people’s goal is to be thin, mine is not. I may not be as healthy as I could be but that is a work in progress. I do not secretly hate myself for my size. It took me too long to be happy with who I am to revert back to that. My confidence may have been shaken every so often but not to the point that they may think so.

Basically I’ve had about three customers come in, size me up and then tell me about how great their products are to lose weight and be healthier. Now, there is a right and wrong way to go about this, but they were obviously not given the memo that how you say things affects how people perceive them, especially in sales. A big part of me wanted to yell, “No I don’t care about your shakes, and my health is between my doctor and I.” So many times, you hear people wanting to say they are trying to help by pushing the health needs and benefits in your face like a bible thumper, but in actuality it’s them having a problem with people like me. They have a problem with my size, with my happiness, and why should I be happy with myself when they are not. I’m sorry but I’m not here on this planet to please you. Other plus size women, and men, are not here to be pushed thru the mud for everyone else to walk across. It doesn’t work that way with me. So keep moving.
And give me a moment to descend from my soap box.

My Relationship With Old Navy

So if you haven't heard about it yet as you may be super stoked that we landed on a comet, another store has caused many a ruffled feather with the plus size community. That would be Old Navy and surprisingly enough, I'm not surprised.

Here's one of the articles about it.
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/how-old-navy-is-stirring-up-a-plus-sized-gaffe/

I used to be nearly religious when it came to Old Navy jeans. As a pre-teen beginning puberty, I was not only a bit bigger but I was awkward and tall and only got taller with age. The only jeans I could find to fit were Old Navy jeans. They were great. The length was awesome, they were sturdy enough to handle years of the chub rub. The quality of the denim was amazing.

Fast forward to here and now, I couldn't find my size in a store if I searched their entire warehouse. I've tried buying online from them (there isn't a local store anyway so I have to buy online) and was given the wrong size a couple times. Don't get me started on the returns. The correct size jeans hardly ever fit right and the tops that I have, I try not to wear too often because they aren't the most flattering. They tend to fit loose and just get looser to the point that it looks frumpy but are nifty when I'm sick. So I have a hard time believing that they have a team of people attempting to make their plus size women clothing the most flattering and 'figure enhancing' as possible.

It's every store's excuse that plus size clothes need more material or in their case, design, However comma, I have always had a hard time believing that straight size clothes are at least $15 cheaper than plus whether they are men's or women's. They can just say that they are charging us because they can. Look at every other retailer that offers their version of plus size clothes. We can't try them on because they are only offered online. There still isn't much of a market for us so the price is controlled whether the quality is great or terrible. We are forced to trust them based on their straight sizes only and the fact that they have the 'option' of plus size clothes.

Old Navy is just another store that falls into the bin. It may work for some but then there's the rest of us. To them, we are not lucrative enough to have in their stores. So many stores just don't want the public to see us in their stores. I've already made peace with my lost relationship with Old Navy. We used to be so right and then the seams unraveled.

I wish that I could be a bit more outraged about this like a lot of other people, but I'm not surprised this happened and happens all the time. Part of it may be because I don't shop there much anymore or that I've found other brands that work for me a lot more than they do. I'd rather shift my focus to see how well Rue 21 does with their new plus line. I'm just hoping the store in my area will have it while expecting it not to have room for the plus size line. Call me a pessimist, but that's sadly our reality.