Thursday, October 15, 2015

It's Ok, I'm Not Offended

With all the talk lately about Plus is Equal and body shaming, I can’t honestly say that it has had a huge effect on me. I completely support these movements and all, but the fact remains is that it is just emphasized on specific parts of the country, the coast. Sadly where I live, important topics are important but the hottest topic that usually goes around town are politics, religion, and work. Size, I believe is one of those things where it should not be brought up in polite conversation.

The other day though, I encountered something that made me take a step back and think. It’s no secret that I’m the biggest person at work. It’s something that I’ve noticed since day 1, but I’m also the tallest standing at 5 foot 10 with flats on. I’ve had my fair share of customers shamelessly asking when I’m due or what I’m having. It just comes with the territory but it does bug the living hell out of me. That’s when I look them directly in the eye and tell them that I’m not pregnant, I’m just that big. Insert the washing of embarrassment and shame and queue the immediate walking away. I’d like to say that I’m just fat, but I don’t think that would be very professional, however it has almost slipped out. But the bottom line is that it’s just rude, like asking about a woman’s age, you just don’t do it.

Back to the event, I was helping a customer like normal. Wasn’t a huge deal and one of my managers came in to deliver some paperwork. They know each other and so while I was working on his stuff, he struck up a conversation with her. There was the typical polite conversation, questions about how things are going and the family. Then he just stops and looks her up and down and tells her that she looks like she’s lost weight. We, both, have a bit of a surprised face and I quickly go back to my work. Now he’s wanting to know what she’s been doing and how much she’s lost because she’s looking good and every passing second, we both are uncomfortable.

She goes to tell him that it’s unwanted weight loss, how she’s afraid she’s getting sick, like dire-something-is-wrong sick. Explains doctor’s visits and everything because losing weight is not what she wants and it is really worrying her. She's female, of course she has issues with her size, what woman doesn't? We all have something that we think would be better. I'm very much at peace with my size, but even with my own body confidence, there are some problem areas to me. Big girls have them, small girls have them, every one has them, even guys. 

At the end of the day, she says that she needs to speak to me about what had happened. I didn’t get it because if anything I should have apologized for the guy's rudeness. But after all, I think she felt bad about her losing weight and the whole conversation around me, where it’s obvious that I don’t have a lot of luck in the losing weight department. I was like no, no, you’re ok. I know how you feel about it and the whole thing was just rude to you. I don’t think I said it but I do hope that she knows that it’s ok that she wants to be the size she wants and even more so that she's healthy. 

Being happy with yourself and being healthy is so much more important than the vanity. She was made fun of for being thin, I was for being big. Two sides of the same coin, and yet most people would think that having trouble gaining weight is more of a blessing, and maybe to some it is but for a lot of others, it's the opposite. We’ve all got our things and we have built a thick skin to not particularly be outright offended. But a big thing about ‘Murica is that everyone is quick to cry ‘offended’ and ‘bullying’ and ‘shaming’. We got our big girl panties on and are grown women. I can understand not wanting to offend someone by saying something in the wrong way or it comes out weird that so many would just jump on, but while there are too many people out there wanting apologies for every opinion, I’m ok. Thanks for the consideration, but we have other things to worry about.

(On the other hand, if you aren't happy then do something about it, don't complain)

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