Saturday, December 13, 2014

Apples to Apples

So this is one of those times where I'm alone in my head with my thoughts. Most times it's dangerous just like it would be for anyone else, but there is a plus side to it. You find out a lot of things that normally are literally in front of you but you never actually saw it. So in the midst of it all there are some revelations about who we are and how we see ourselves.

To stop beating around the bush, for those who know me it makes sense and for those that don't, you'll find I mention social media occasionally but I love it. Seriously, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest, Tumblr, etc, I got it. Many for different reasons but yes, I'm that person. Facebook keeps me in touch with peeps I know or knew. Twitter lets me know what's going on in the world. Instagram and Tumblr let me be as vain as I allow (yes Lady Gaga reference) and find other people's point of view. If you have to ask me about Pinterest, you don't have one and should go get one.

But I think that especially as a girl, we have a tendency to go thru everything and play apples to apples between our lives and those online, whether they are friends or family or celebrities, we do it. Part of it could be that it has been done throughout life from friends and family or if it's just a tendency of our current society. With our luck, it's both. I'm sure guys do it too but right now, that is not the point. I found myself going thru profiles, posts, and pictures of many a people thru my social media outlets and had to physically stop myself and say out loud, why am I doing this to myself?!?!?!?!

I compared, especially with people I've known forever, where they are and where I am. Result was a draw. What they looked like then and now, and of course they won. And it was because they are fitter, their room in the background of their selfies are spotless, they've traveled or have had some drastic life events that have turned life into their favor. And while I can say that I am genuinely happy for them and their happiness, I tore myself apart and have already kicked myself in the butt for doing that. OBVIOUSLY something needs to change and it starts not tomorrow, not Monday, it starts TODAY!

Yes, my previous roommates will tell you that I am messy. I am a firm practitioner of organized chaos and on occasion it will fall out of that and then I really know it's a problem to fix. I am obviously a person with bad habits when it comes to life and decisions. I have many good ones, don't get me wrong, but given the choice between doing something tomorrow and sleeping or hanging out today, there isn't a choice.

I will forever be a continuous work in progress when it comes to my life, my health, and my happiness. Writing this here really helps me put it into perspective and hold myself accountable because these toxic trends cannot happen anymore. I have to fight. We all have to fight. There's so much that just gets pushed aside that deep down bothers us to no end and it's not going to change unless something is done. So now I tell you here and now, that I am going to start doing. Not trying but doing. No more apples to apples. I'm in my own fantastic basket of sequins and glitter and it's time to start shining.

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