Equal Pay Day Plus a Couple Thoughts

Just a comment or three about today. If you've been on social media at all, you'll know that today is Equal Pay Day. An estimated time frame to show that since we are 102 days into the new year, that women's pay catches up to where men ended last year. I must say that I have a few comments on that as well. It is said that women make on average 77 cents to every white male's dollar, however comma, that is for a white female. Women of color tend to face a larger pay gap. According to a piece I read from Cosmopolitan magazine by Jill Filipovic,

"It's a ubiquitous statistic: Women make 79 cents for every dollar a man makes. African-American women make 65 cents, Native America women 59, and Latinas just 54 cents to a white man's dollar."

While the gap is shocking, it's really not surprising. Equal rights is always a touchy subject for everyone but women's rights have been a topic of controversy since we were 'granted' the right to vote. Now I'll be honest when I say that I'm not sure if I've been a victim of the pay gap because I work for a corporation that tends to pay by the position and not necessarily by the name of the person in the position. There's been different ups and downs with my work story the size of the Rocky Mountains but even before I got into the workforce, I remember my mom telling me,

"You'll have to work twice as hard because you have two strikes against you. 1. You're female and 2. You're Hispanic."

She warned me about this because I know that she's had some pay discrimination in her life for more reasons than just gender and race. She didn't want me to be caught off guard about how the world has worked for so long and I'm not.

And now in these recent years, it's nice to see how it's being put out there and how narrow minded people really are. Education and time off for families and experience are honestly some bull sh!t excuses that some tend to play around with on how much affects the pay gap and some even claim that the gap doesn't exist. But on the other side, if women do really well then they are the bossy devil b!tch in Prada.

"Ok she's tough, but if Miranda were a man, noone would notice anything about her except how great she is at her job" ~The Devil Wears Prada

 Apparently there is no middle to women in the workplace. Apparently there seems to be gap in more than one place. So to the doubters and nay-sayers, do whatever helps you sleep at night because just because you don't believe it's this bad or you doubt the gap even exists, it does. It may be bigger in a lot of places and not as big in others, but the gap itself still remains.

This topic hangs in the back of my mind at times and ends up mentally listed in a few of my life choices like building a savings. Because with a lesser pay in places, there's less for retirement and less received in Social Security because there's not always enough paid in during the working years. It's not always about the here and now but it's over time and you learn that a lot of things, like your pay, will affect more that just your bank account and current livelihood










What else have I learned? Look at my last post on what else I've learned in the past 25 years of life.

So Cosmo is Porn

If you haven’t seen it on the twitter-verse here’s a link from the Huffington post about what is apparently going on with some stores that carry the magazine. Long story short in not much nicer words with a dash of sarcasm, is that the magazine is the pornographic devil. If you read this with the movie appropriate accent, congrats you read it correctly.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/cosmopolitan-magazine-wrapper_55bbd005e4b0d4f33a02d9ca?ncid=tweetlnkushpmg00000050

The “National Center for Sexual Exploitation” feels to me like the One Million Moms organization, a bit overrated. You want to be again sexual exploitation, great, there’s a ton out there but if you honestly think that the heart and soul of Cosmopolitan Magazine is out to steer people into the fiery depths of hell for talking about sex, then you obviously are talking without ever opening the magazine, let alone reading the articles.

Is there an emphasis on sex? Yes. Is it possible that it could be about different types, positions and what not? Yes. Is it all about pleasuring him? NO. Is it all about sex? NO. Does it in fact touch on topics like sexual exploitation and the struggles that women, and even people in general, do about sexual assault? Yes.

Cosmo talks about the topics that people don’t like to talk about. They bring into light some of the ugly realities that plague the world we live in whether it be overseas or on US college campuses. If you had looked on the cover that is in the Huffington post article, I won’t deny yes there are articles plastered all over the cover about sex, pleasuring yourself because God forbid that a woman have a sexual desire, pleasuring your partner because it’s all about him and not about the control you as a woman has over him that drives him crazy and makes you feel on top of the world. Giving you that confidence that pushes you to do better in other aspects of your life because that is unheard of. And if you look in the corner of the cover, the title “Are You Letting Your Dream Life Get Away?” Contrary to popular belief, it’s not all about sex.

Thank you for the gif via le Google and imoviequotes

It sucks that sex is vilified as much as it is. It’s dirty and shameful and because we are women, it makes it so much worse. Women are fearing being taken to different countries to be sold in the sex trade or suffering through FGM. But really, the issue is that this magazine talking about steering the children of the world into a dangerous lifestyle. But honestly, NCSE what about the pressure on the parents?

I don’t about ya’ll (yes my region is showing), but if my mom didn’t want me to listen to Tupac, I didn’t know who he was until high school. If I was listening to music at home, it was not allowed to have audible curse words. If a movie on TV was rated R, she would give me the look and yes let me watch Scary Movie, but I knew the when and where and what NOT to watch, hear, or especially repeat. I didn’t even start reading Cosmo until I got into college, not because it was ‘dirty’ but I wanted to know what else was in the world. 

The purpose of media is to discuss, educate, and share opinions but because everyone and their dog’s organization is offended and moral, everything besides what specific people like is wrong. So NCSE, if you feel that Cosmo needs a blinder like Playboy, go ahead and make your points and pressure more stores to put that magazine on the shame shelf. But realize what else you’re doing? How long until the goal is for the Republican mother of American history come back or as my mom and I like to say, barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.

Bottom line is that we as women are so much more that for reproducing, for the nurturing and putting ourselves last. There are movements going on to progress gender equality, the paygap, sexual confidence, body confidence and while the media and the world has a way to go, it’s a start. It’s a start because we need more. More confidence and education about not being afraid of life because it’s beautiful at any size, it’s different from person to person when it comes to their love life and if it’s a journey that can be taken with the person you love, then it’s not just you alone.

I have a couple guy friends, who are straight, who read Cosmo because they are genuinely curious to see what we read about and what could be going in our minds. They want to know and they, too, want to please their women too, but who hears about that because that’s not what Cosmo is for right? Does anyone remember the video that went viral about the amount of differences between porn and actual sex. People of various ages still are turning to porn for the education that they aren’t getting from friends, family, or education. Save time with the computer viruses from going to shady sites of the no-no square and pick up some Cosmo. And with all the sass I can muster, Learn you some life and love.

Feminism - It is what it is... right?

It's no secret that feminism has been around a while and a lot of the major issues have been getting some major attention. Birth control, abortion, the pay gap, etc. They can spark some major debates on both sides of the fence. But from what I thought feminism was to apparently what it gets translated to now are somewhat but not short of extremes.

Now I don't know about what you guys learned in history, but from what I understand, feminism was a powerful point in time when women bonded together for equal rights. For the right to vote, to be seen as a competent human being who's worth surpasses that of producing children and nothing more. For the right to choose who they wanted to be, whether it be a doctor or to even just to decide that they wanted to wear pants. Women wanted to be held accountable for more than what they were treated or brought up to be to make their own decisions and to be their own person by their own rules.

But now it seems that there was a shift in the meaning. Maybe it's just the connotation of it now or just the power of the few who ruined it for everybody in some way. I read on Twitter from E News about Kaley Cuoco(-Sweeting), from the amazing Big Bang Theory, stating that she doesn't consider herself a feminist. Here's the link.

http://www.eonline.com/news/609943/kaley-cuoco-sweeting-does-not-consider-herself-a-feminist-i-love-feeling-like-a-housewife

She has taken the role of a housewife with her married life. Cooking and cleaning and building a home for her family. She calls it old fashioned and that she really hasn't had to deal with inequality. People were in an uproar. All you have to do is look at the comments to it and see the madness happening on both sides. But the thing is that maybe she's not looking at the root of feminism but more what feminism is seen as now, aggressive, in-your-face, you're-with-us-or-against-us stance on life. But look deeper people:

* She is getting paid (at or about) a million dollars an episode like her male co-stars. There may be a difference in the actual number but that part I don't know for sure and if it was to be less then I'm sure she'd have negotiated it to equal because yes, she deserves it.

* She's owned up about her breast implants not to treated as a sex symbol but to her confidence. It was her decision and for her alone.

* Because she is working, she is supporting the family she is building by her own terms. If it was really the Republican Mother stance from US history, she wouldn't be working, wouldn't have a voice, and would end up seen and not heard with no legal rights to the money she is making.

From what I can gather about her relationship and about how many relationships are, and should be, is give and take. She may give him dinner and "serve" him five out of the Seven nights a week but he probably does other things in return for her. I'm glad she didn't have to (at least to me) fight for her million an episode or was required to get a boob job. Some of us are still fighting to get what we want and that's ok. She's still in control of her life and her own happiness and I think that was one of the goals of feminists in the first place.