Travel Reality - the Straight Up UGLY

One of the highlights of my 2016 year was being able to visit my sista over on the east coast. We'd been planning it for over a year, so despite the beginning of my illnesses, I was bound and determined to go even if it killed me.

So what had happened was...

The airline we took was one my sister, my bff who also came, and myself had never heard of. Spirit. Now I know that some of you are thinking, wellll there ya go. We had no idea and I've been on a plane maybe 4 times in my life. But my bff and I had things planned. We'd pay for checked luggage and have our personal items. We were planning on taking post wedding pictures in Philly, so I had my Maid of Honor dress and my good makeup and hair necessities all for it to never show up when we landed.

You always hear about things happening to luggage or see how airlines in general handle luggage behind the scenes, but when your airline gives your luggage to a different airline at an international airport and they can't find it, you may start to panic. The customer service rep in the claims department even said there was a possibility that it could have gone out of the country.

We arrived Sunday, called everyday, bought everything we needed with kept receipts which was about 1500 between my bff and I because everyone knows plus size, big and tall anything is not cheap. They finally found my luggage in Atlanta, Georgia on Wednesday of our stay. Flew it out to the airport but had to Fedex to my sister's house. But!! It rained and the FedEx sticker came apart from the wet luggage and was found in New Jersey. We finally have it returned on Friday and we were leaving again on Sunday.

Now with needing to purchase a week's worth of life from underwear to hair and makeup for the wedding pictures, my bff and I were ready for a fight if we had to pay for another 2 carry-ons on top of what we already paid the first go around. Thankfully it wasn't necessary but the bruises from carrying that bag through security and having that bag checked literally 6 times at security was brutal. AND guess who missed her flight home on the last flight of the day to Dallas? Mind you, it was 4 in the morning on top of it.

Time passes and we have been working on our claim for reimbursement. If I can tell you anything about any sort of claims, it's these main points:

1. Keep your receipts and make copies of said receipts. My bff handled this like a pro because both of us had copies of the receipts for EVERYTHING, even the paperwork and email correspondence.

2. Read the instructions carefully. Everything has a timeline and in our case, it also needed to be notarized.

3. If you need to mail it out, spend a few bucks to get it registered or certified mail. Someone on the receiving end has to sign for it and that was our saving grace because le bff sent it certified and had proof that Spirit claims received when they tried to deny our claim saying they didn't get it in time.


Needless to say, though my luggage is trashed from how it was handled and then being left out in the rain, I've learned a very valuable lesson. Pack smarter and learn to pack tighter to fit things in my carry on.



For happier posts, check these out!

Monthly Favorites - http://bit.ly/LApril17F

Tales of the Tank - http://bit.ly/TOTTBackpack



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Coffee or Tea

I'm not having issues but I'm having issues. With me progressively on the previously mentioned mend, there's a lot of adjustments to be made and more so with my stomach. Living out west, I've grown up and enjoy chile and just spicy food in general. Those are easy to say that I need to calm down on the hot sauce and salsa, but when I was having my morning coffee after coming home from the hospital, it was tragic. My stomach was not liking it for some reason but it yelled and hurt until I was in the bathroom.

Now I'm not a complete coffee snob. I have a Keurig and a french press, but I've been at home where it's a standard coffee pot with Dunkin Donuts coffee or Folgers or 8 O'clock Coffee from the local Dollar General and all is still well with the world. And no, I don't drink it black because I enjoy flavored creamer and DUH. I love the smell and enjoy the taste in the mornings.

It's been a staple in my life for a while I believe, mainly, because of my grandparents. My grandpa started me on coffee at a young age with cookies. He's used the same cups for coffee for as long as I can remember and starts a pot anytime we walk through the door. Not too strong and not too light with a few cubes of sugar with creamer and we are set for a good couple hours of chatting.

Because Google knows how we roll

Tea is a whole different story because there are two categories, hot tea and iced tea. Iced tea is not iced tea with out a proper southern amount of sugar.I didn't get into drinking hot tea casually until college with the help of a few of my friends. We dubbed ourselves las señoras. (hey!) And we'd have tea at someone's house, the theatre, Chinese restaurant, etc. But of course after college, people grow and move and I'm glad we still keep in touch. (We needs the chisme every now and then and don't get us started on the Selena movie and award season.)

I love Chamomile or like I've mentioned in my remedies post, Manzanilla. It's a great relaxer for  me so I can't really drink it in the morning to wake up and get the warm fuzzies. I've tried a couple teas, Earl Grey was a bit much at least by itself and I found Breakfast Tea was not my cup of tea.

I know people put honey or cream or milk but I don't know what goes where. Where does the line draw? For strong coffee, I know to use the powdered creamer instead of liquid. Don't use a flavored creamer when you have already flavored coffee.

WHERE ARE THE RULES FOR TEA?!?!?!?!

There's so many varieties and they have different things and some don't have caffeine, and yes I need caffeine. There's a thing called loose leaf tea. Is it better than tea that's bagged? How much do you use? How long does it need to steep? What are the requirements to add honey, milk, or creamer? Is that even a thing?

With all of this said, the hunt is on for my cup of tea because it's terrifying to think that the coffee deprivation may be permanent, but my mornings are empty and void of the wonderful, slightly bitter, taste of one of the miracles of life that made my morning routine. Trust me, I need a routine. So any tips or teas to try or tea recipes are greatly appreciated in the mean time. :]

An Open Letter To People in Customer Mode

Dear society in customer mode,

It’s that time of year again, even though Thanksgiving has already been forgotten, the Christmas music is playing in stores, the coupons and discounts are flooding in, and finances are being evaluated to take the shopping hits. As someone who works in customer service, part of me is excited and the other part is dreading it. The holiday season hits every industry in some way and on the front lines are all the employees who work in customer service. For some, the hours are longer, the inventory is bigger, and for even more the backlash is semi and not-so-semi hostile.

eCard brought to you by the power of Google 

I just ask that you remember that the employees who are helping you in your daily life are people too. We also go from employee mode to customer mode. The people I know in the food industry tip more than those who have never been. The people I know in the traditional retail industry have looked up extra coupons for friends, family, and people they don’t even know. The people who are working on the financial portion sometimes can’t get out of employee mode when they are off the clock because they are a face tied to that industry and are apparently not busy since they are in street clothes.

Google knows where the feels are

What I am trying to say is that we know it can feel like Hell because we’ve been there on both ends. But we are still people. Being in customer mode does not make you entitled because no, the customer is not always right. And no, the employee may not have all the answers, but you can bet that they will do their best to find out or to find someone who knows. So yelling about how we know nothing about our job and making everyone else nervous doesn’t make the employees or the company look bad, it just makes you look like an idiotic a$$. Because do you really think if we were stealing, that we would be working? If we really didn’t know what we were doing, what makes you the expert because unless you are currently an employee at that particular company, then you really don't know. (Policies and procedures tend to change in varying degrees only all the time anyway.)

Let's face it, Google knows

I know it’s not every customer, and I also know that not every employee is the Employee of the Month, but seriously take a look at yourself in the mirror and remember what kind of person you are. Because how you treat those that are there to help you, will show more about you as a person than the gift you buy for Christmas, or Easter, or the Fourth of July, or someone’s birthday.

Sincerely,

A person in employee mode.

It's Ok, I'm Not Offended

With all the talk lately about Plus is Equal and body shaming, I can’t honestly say that it has had a huge effect on me. I completely support these movements and all, but the fact remains is that it is just emphasized on specific parts of the country, the coast. Sadly where I live, important topics are important but the hottest topic that usually goes around town are politics, religion, and work. Size, I believe is one of those things where it should not be brought up in polite conversation.

The other day though, I encountered something that made me take a step back and think. It’s no secret that I’m the biggest person at work. It’s something that I’ve noticed since day 1, but I’m also the tallest standing at 5 foot 10 with flats on. I’ve had my fair share of customers shamelessly asking when I’m due or what I’m having. It just comes with the territory but it does bug the living hell out of me. That’s when I look them directly in the eye and tell them that I’m not pregnant, I’m just that big. Insert the washing of embarrassment and shame and queue the immediate walking away. I’d like to say that I’m just fat, but I don’t think that would be very professional, however it has almost slipped out. But the bottom line is that it’s just rude, like asking about a woman’s age, you just don’t do it.

Back to the event, I was helping a customer like normal. Wasn’t a huge deal and one of my managers came in to deliver some paperwork. They know each other and so while I was working on his stuff, he struck up a conversation with her. There was the typical polite conversation, questions about how things are going and the family. Then he just stops and looks her up and down and tells her that she looks like she’s lost weight. We, both, have a bit of a surprised face and I quickly go back to my work. Now he’s wanting to know what she’s been doing and how much she’s lost because she’s looking good and every passing second, we both are uncomfortable.

She goes to tell him that it’s unwanted weight loss, how she’s afraid she’s getting sick, like dire-something-is-wrong sick. Explains doctor’s visits and everything because losing weight is not what she wants and it is really worrying her. She's female, of course she has issues with her size, what woman doesn't? We all have something that we think would be better. I'm very much at peace with my size, but even with my own body confidence, there are some problem areas to me. Big girls have them, small girls have them, every one has them, even guys. 

At the end of the day, she says that she needs to speak to me about what had happened. I didn’t get it because if anything I should have apologized for the guy's rudeness. But after all, I think she felt bad about her losing weight and the whole conversation around me, where it’s obvious that I don’t have a lot of luck in the losing weight department. I was like no, no, you’re ok. I know how you feel about it and the whole thing was just rude to you. I don’t think I said it but I do hope that she knows that it’s ok that she wants to be the size she wants and even more so that she's healthy. 

Being happy with yourself and being healthy is so much more important than the vanity. She was made fun of for being thin, I was for being big. Two sides of the same coin, and yet most people would think that having trouble gaining weight is more of a blessing, and maybe to some it is but for a lot of others, it's the opposite. We’ve all got our things and we have built a thick skin to not particularly be outright offended. But a big thing about ‘Murica is that everyone is quick to cry ‘offended’ and ‘bullying’ and ‘shaming’. We got our big girl panties on and are grown women. I can understand not wanting to offend someone by saying something in the wrong way or it comes out weird that so many would just jump on, but while there are too many people out there wanting apologies for every opinion, I’m ok. Thanks for the consideration, but we have other things to worry about.



(On the other hand, if you aren't happy then do something about it, don't complain)

So Cosmo is Porn

If you haven’t seen it on the twitter-verse here’s a link from the Huffington post about what is apparently going on with some stores that carry the magazine. Long story short in not much nicer words with a dash of sarcasm, is that the magazine is the pornographic devil. If you read this with the movie appropriate accent, congrats you read it correctly.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/cosmopolitan-magazine-wrapper_55bbd005e4b0d4f33a02d9ca?ncid=tweetlnkushpmg00000050

The “National Center for Sexual Exploitation” feels to me like the One Million Moms organization, a bit overrated. You want to be again sexual exploitation, great, there’s a ton out there but if you honestly think that the heart and soul of Cosmopolitan Magazine is out to steer people into the fiery depths of hell for talking about sex, then you obviously are talking without ever opening the magazine, let alone reading the articles.

Is there an emphasis on sex? Yes. Is it possible that it could be about different types, positions and what not? Yes. Is it all about pleasuring him? NO. Is it all about sex? NO. Does it in fact touch on topics like sexual exploitation and the struggles that women, and even people in general, do about sexual assault? Yes.

Cosmo talks about the topics that people don’t like to talk about. They bring into light some of the ugly realities that plague the world we live in whether it be overseas or on US college campuses. If you had looked on the cover that is in the Huffington post article, I won’t deny yes there are articles plastered all over the cover about sex, pleasuring yourself because God forbid that a woman have a sexual desire, pleasuring your partner because it’s all about him and not about the control you as a woman has over him that drives him crazy and makes you feel on top of the world. Giving you that confidence that pushes you to do better in other aspects of your life because that is unheard of. And if you look in the corner of the cover, the title “Are You Letting Your Dream Life Get Away?” Contrary to popular belief, it’s not all about sex.

Thank you for the gif via le Google and imoviequotes

It sucks that sex is vilified as much as it is. It’s dirty and shameful and because we are women, it makes it so much worse. Women are fearing being taken to different countries to be sold in the sex trade or suffering through FGM. But really, the issue is that this magazine talking about steering the children of the world into a dangerous lifestyle. But honestly, NCSE what about the pressure on the parents?

I don’t about ya’ll (yes my region is showing), but if my mom didn’t want me to listen to Tupac, I didn’t know who he was until high school. If I was listening to music at home, it was not allowed to have audible curse words. If a movie on TV was rated R, she would give me the look and yes let me watch Scary Movie, but I knew the when and where and what NOT to watch, hear, or especially repeat. I didn’t even start reading Cosmo until I got into college, not because it was ‘dirty’ but I wanted to know what else was in the world. 

The purpose of media is to discuss, educate, and share opinions but because everyone and their dog’s organization is offended and moral, everything besides what specific people like is wrong. So NCSE, if you feel that Cosmo needs a blinder like Playboy, go ahead and make your points and pressure more stores to put that magazine on the shame shelf. But realize what else you’re doing? How long until the goal is for the Republican mother of American history come back or as my mom and I like to say, barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.

Bottom line is that we as women are so much more that for reproducing, for the nurturing and putting ourselves last. There are movements going on to progress gender equality, the paygap, sexual confidence, body confidence and while the media and the world has a way to go, it’s a start. It’s a start because we need more. More confidence and education about not being afraid of life because it’s beautiful at any size, it’s different from person to person when it comes to their love life and if it’s a journey that can be taken with the person you love, then it’s not just you alone.

I have a couple guy friends, who are straight, who read Cosmo because they are genuinely curious to see what we read about and what could be going in our minds. They want to know and they, too, want to please their women too, but who hears about that because that’s not what Cosmo is for right? Does anyone remember the video that went viral about the amount of differences between porn and actual sex. People of various ages still are turning to porn for the education that they aren’t getting from friends, family, or education. Save time with the computer viruses from going to shady sites of the no-no square and pick up some Cosmo. And with all the sass I can muster, Learn you some life and love.

Just for Your FYI - I'm Not Your Bae - Torrid

This wonderful outfit from Torrid is fabulous and would be the only way I would acknowledge the word bae. I was never a fan of it and was one of those people who had to look it up when I heard it. (No shame or judgement) and what I found is that bae is Danish for poop, feces, crap shit, etc.
Urban dictionary defines it as a phrase of endearment as an acronym for 'Before Anyone Else'. Now maybe I'm just a English type person who tries her best to speak or write grammatically correct and fully understands that we all occasionally have a brain fart or three, but other people don't and it makes me question their IQ. 

Call it judgmental, call it stuck up, call me whatever you'd like but I didn't go to school to be called someone's crap or before anyone else. Since most tend to use it as a noun, it makes for sense to use it in the denotative state rather than the alternative. 

So in the end, kudos to Torrid for making me smile. That's all.