Halloween Because You Can

You’re not too old for Halloween!!!

I had this argument with my boyfriend recently about debating what plans to do for the fall. Most of the exciting things happen in the state like the International Balloon Fiesta, and there’s just other festivals galore for my state. Of course we get invited to a couple Halloween parties, mainly through his friends and coworkers. Like any other holiday occasion, they were going to be costume parties. Mind you, he’s one of the youngest guys at his work and they’ve been asking what his costume is going to be and he’s been answering with “myself”. He doesn’t plan on wearing a costume because he states that he’s too old or his favorite coined phrase, he’s grown.

Now anyone who just enjoys holidays in general can see the brain cells dying off in my head because I’m totally rolling them. Happens every year and what he doesn’t realize is that it puts me in a slightly awkward spot because if we go, you know that your girl is gonna wanna dress up. (I only say slightly because while we could be that couple that dresses together, I don’t really have a problem going all out on my costume while he shows up in a regular t-shirt). His older brother throws a little family get together for Halloween that includes costumes and a pumpkin decorating contest. It’s all part of the spirit but I know and you know and they know and everyone and their dog knows that there are people in the world that think that if you have hit puberty then you are too old to be trick or treating and/or participating.

Now I know it’s not just a ‘girl’ thing to want to dress up and not be you, intentionally, with no judgement what-so-ever so I give you 5 reasons to join in the holiday spirit for Halloween.

1.       There are too few joys in life. There’s no hiding the turmoil that has plagued the world lately. Not just where I am in the state of New Mexico where we had our own shooting at a local public library but there’s been the terrible massacre in Las Vegas, Nevada. The multiple hurricanes to the southeast of the country as well as the wall of Hellfire up in the northwest of the country. Mother Nature has also taken a toll on other areas of the world as well as just the appalling actions of other humans here and everywhere else. We need a sort of release. We need a time to be together and remember that it’s ok to have a good time in order to renew spirits to handle tomorrow.

2.       It’s proof that we need to take ourselves a little less seriously. Now this is something that I can admit I am guilty of and I thank my wonderful boyfriend for pointing it out to me even if I don’t like it in that moment. You have to be able to laugh at yourself. Call it the fault of the PC culture or Social Justice Warriors whatever you want, it’s all just an excuse. You can’t take yourself seriously all the time. You just can’t because if you do then it affects your personality and it has the potential to turn you not just into a party pooper but a general stick in the mud in life and no one wants to be around that (including yourself).

3.       It’s just fun overall. FUN. Whether you have the stupid SpongeBob song playing or a club song playing in your head. It’s almost a certifiable day to be lighthearted and whimsy. If your work allows you to dress up within reason, why not? If you’re invited to a grown up costume party and you want to be fun rather than risqué, why not? If you’d rather go vice versa, why not? It’s a perfect opportunity to try something new in terms of your personality and check out reactions. Everyone gets compliments around Halloween whether it’s for being scary, pretty, creative, risqué. You can still get away with throwing a sheet with two holes and be a ghost and still get laughs for crying out loud.

4.       Great family time. Now granted I don’t have kids and if you have them, you’re more than likely to keep them away from me because I have some unseen ability to scare children and it ultimately ends with crying and occasionally screaming. No lie and 98% of the time it’s unintentional. But I’ve also been at work and we usually participate in the Safe Stops for Trick Or Treating. The community does a fantastic job of putting it together for families to take especially the small children trick or treating during the day rather than in the depths of night. I’ve seen the full cast of the Wizard of Oz with Dorothy and the Lion in a stroller. I’ve seen the cast of Toy Story with 3 of them riding in a Red Wagon, one being the little green alien and my life was made. It’s just a good time all around for us who are giving the treats and for everyone who has to walk through our doors.

5.       It doesn’t have to be demonic. Yes, the history surrounding the connotation of Halloween is fairly dark. No matter what your faith or beliefs are, it’s good to remember that we can’t change the past. We can’t change the possibility or even of the idea that the spirits of those who’ve passed on have the opportunity to return or if you as a virgin light the Blake Flame Candle then the Sanderson sisters would return to suck the lives out of the children by sunrise. It is 2017 and we have the power and ability to make this holiday what we want. So if your group wants to throw up a picture of a goat and jam out to Norwegian black metal bands, whatever but don’t harm anyone. If your group wants to have a costume party zombies or heaven forbid, karaoke, do you booboo and don’t harm anyone. 

There are worse things in this life and in this world than a holiday we can use for fun rather than obligation. And on that note, what are you dressing up as?

       

Check out some of my other posts-

  The Blues of My Life - http://bit.ly/2wnrtRc          

  Bra Talk - http://bit.ly/2ezvzOM    

    

  Office Decor - http://bit.ly/OfficeDe                             

Didn't Have April Showers, We Had Snow - Monthly Favorites

Spring is in full swing and working on returning to normal-ish routine has me having a few favorites this month. It's been a trip reintroducing myself to the work world all for me to go dufuq!? Because low and behold, out here in New Mexico, it's common for the weather to be weird but when it decides to rain and then snow practically All. Friggin. Day. I gotta say that mother nature might be more messed up than me, and that's saying something. But to the good things that happened this month, just yesss.

Scandal – Cable is no more right now so Netflix and I have rekindled a beautiful relationship and with the help of my epic sister, I discovered Scandal. I’d heard about it, heard it was amazing and saw them winning a lot of awards and now I see why. Totally hooked and have been watching all month. Right now I’m at the end of season 4 and with season 5 on, ohhhh it’s gonna be good. I love Olivia and the team. Honestly Fitz gets on my nerves and I have a love/hate relationship with Cyrus. And even though, I hate Eli with a burning passion, Joe Morton does such a wonderful job with his character I love watching him.

Zia Earrings – My test trip to Santa Fe, New Mexico for my birthday was indeed a test of my health and recovery and I’d like to think that I passed. I’d say a solid C+. My boyfriend bought me a couple pairs of the Zia Earrings and then found where the artists work was being sold in the capital city. So of course I had to track it down and get more. I gotta couple, my sister gotta couple and bought me another set for my birthday. One thing I’ve learned about myself over this time is that there is a lot of rich culture in New Mexico and we have a lot of pride for our state is strong and true. We also like to represent. The artist, Cultura Corazon, who makes these, is awesome and has an awesome Etsy store. So check her out here.

They are real wood zia symbols.

These are mirrored acrylic zia symbols

Find her on Instagram too - She has a ton of cute stuff

Benefit Rollerlash – Going back to work means going and getting rid of expired makeup and just wearing makeup in general. So having fresh mascara was just like the first sip of a cherry coke hitting your soul. Just amazing. This mascara blew my mind when I started using it, you can read about that here because talking about it now would not show the same excitement and love I have for this product.

Clinique Intro Kit – Like I said in my last month’s favorites, I did indeed get this kit. And honestly I was super surprised at this intro size. It’s a 3 step process and using it this month, I can see and feel a difference in my skin. It doesn’t look or feel like sandpaper. Now I do still need a good scrub for the dead skin that’s still trying to stick around but keeping this combo-oily, acne prone skin looking decent has just gotten easier and it makes me feel good too. 

These were the awesome things that got me through this month and this crazy journey back into life.
What are yours?





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Check out my last post
Tales of the Tank - My Backpack

Fall Transition Favorites

I'm ALIVE!!!!! It's been well over a month since I posted last. My physical health has taken a bit of a turn down the side of a mountain in an inflatable ball and it's been so much fun finding out that there is something wrong. But of course, I still have to wait for the specialist to find out what that is so that's been super fun. Since I’ve been away for some time does NOT mean I haven’t noticed that the season’s have changed. It’s gotten slightly cooler here and the air has changed. Basically, I know that my face is supposed to be oilier than it is normally. Makeup has to change. Skin care routine needs to be adjusted. Scarves are going to be rotated. I don’t have many sweaters so meh. But the boots are on standby.

Makeup

I have actually not been wearing a lot of foundation because even though more countries have joined the negotiations to the oil on my face, I have been finding my blemishes to be dry and flaky. On top of everything that's been going on, my skin feels like I'm going through puberty. And with that, it’s easy to spot where my foundation tends to slide and gather. But in general, the warmer tones are turning more into cool tones, as they should but on particular sunny days like we tend to have, I don’t mind throwing on a bit of a warmer highlight. Once I find my balance again, then I'll be normal-ish. 

Lip Gook (yes, I’ve tried to call it lippie or just by product but my upbringing called it all lip gook)

As much as I hate to admit, for this transition into fall, I’ve been cheating on my Lancome Juicy shaker.... a lot. It's surprising considering that I’ve been using it all summer. Read up on that here. But still, I’ll occasionally use it but I’ve been going to something a bit more simple. Burt’s Bees. Not as old a brand as Chapstick or Carmex, but it’s nice on the lips and the tinted ones like this one in Sweet Violet do some double duty for me for work since the dry times have already started to attack my lips too.

Skin care

I’ve also noticed that my pores are being more noticeable than needed so I’ve been toying with a few things to help that situation. I have a new moisturizer and face wash that seem to be on the right track. The moisturizer is a simpler one for day or night and made for sensitive skin. I love it because it doesn’t take forever to soak into your skin in the morning before putting on makeup, if I decide to wear it that day, and it’s not slimy like my last one was. On days that I feel like a raisin, I can especially feel the difference in my skin.  It's definitely a start. I won't lie when I say that I've usually tried to avoid brands like Olay because it seems like all they show commercials for is anti-aging made for women twice my age, which is all good, great, and fine however comma, I'm not quite there yet. Now that I'm loving this moisturizer, I'm starting to feel that there is no harm in starting early.

The face wash was purchased on a whim to be honest. When I was getting groceries, I needed some face wipes anyway and saw this. I figure that if the Olay brand has been around as long as it has then I could give it’s $7 face wash a shot. My first look was at the oil control. I always, always, look for oil free but this one also claims to be oil minimizing. I have noticed that I don't get as oily as early, so that's been very nice too. I may have had my reservations about Olay as a brand for twenty something me, but it's safe to say that I am so over it. 

Let me tell you about this charcoal sugar scrub I’ve been using. It’s fun to use and smells wonderful. Even though it’s black from the charcoal, my sensitive skin and I feel a nice exfoliation without my face being super red afterwards. Thank you drug store product and drug store price. Like seriously, it's less than $4. I especially like that it's in a tube rather than a tub. I do love the tubs for the body sugar scrubs, like here, but for just the face, it's less wasted in a tube. 

What changes have you made for the Fall?? Let me know, I know I need all the help I can get.

There's still a lot to be said and done about changing just about everything for the new season all while knowing that you're sick but not having a diagnosis is so much worse. It's been affecting my skin, my hair, etc. But like anyone struggling for control in an uncontrollable situation, I do what I can, where I can and sadly that meant leaving the routine I was working so hard to put in, blogwise. On this last note, if you've been reading my posts, I want to thank you for it. I know it's been a while so I also thank you for the patience. I'm planning on getting back into a groove, it's just been a bit slower than I like. But keep hanging with me and we'll get moving.


In the mean time, catch up on some of my other posts...

The Full Figure Picture - http://bit.ly/HomecomingHelp

How Much is My Face Worth? (tag) - http://bit.ly/MyFaceis

Operation Ducks In A Row - Relationships and Life - http://bit.ly/10GTWODIAR







Follow me on Bloglovin - http://bit.ly/MyBloglovinPg

10 Pokemon Go Hunting Essentials

Alrighty then, so if you've been literally under a rock in the deepest depth of the ocean, welcome back to surface and sorry about your lost voice. What you need to know is readily available on the internet but be careful what you read because the world is scary and the only thing that seems to be keeping some sanity and/or faith in humanity, lately, is Pokemon Go.

Now there are those of us, like myself, who've been waiting impatiently for this game to become a reality since the Blue version and there's a lot who've picked it up to see what the hype is that has literally been around the world and thankfully there's more positive than negative.

Long story that-has-a-million-tutorials-around-YouTube-short, is that you physically have to get outside to enjoy the mesh or the real world and the Pokemon world. Since the game's release, I have walked well over 7 miles or according to my eggs, at least 15km. I can honestly say that I don't know how relative those numbers are, I just know what my pedometer says and how many eggs I've hatched while actually walking.

And I'm not a small nor athletic person. I am Big, Bad, and Beautiful yes, but getting me outside after work is not easy. Yet, my first day playing, despite server issues, I walked for 2 and a half hours around town picking up items at Pokestops and catching Pokemon in places I see just about everyday and it's FANTASTIC. I've met many a people who I'd normally never outwardly speak to and we've shared tips and trades and battled gyms. I can honestly say that this has been a great habit to start and pick up with. A few friends chat and meet up in the evening when it's the coolest and walk about the hot spots in town and this is where our post has more meaning because we are out for a long time and our phones are on a long time. So here's some essentials to keep you going while Pokemon hunting or as I like to say, going on a PokeWalk.



1. A Good Bag - backpack, messenger, crossbody bag whatever works for you to keep these essentials in while keeping your hands free is a must. If you've been reading my Tales of the Tank, as you totally should, I'll have one up for these particular types once it's written.

2. External Battery - if you've read my posts or been on my Twitter feeds or just on social media, the word is getting around about external batteries. I'm a huge fan of these, in general, so call me hipster when I say that I was all about these before Pokemon Go. I'm ok with that, but read up here and learn you some before throwing money at these sources of power.

***6000 mAh Battery at Big Lots for $8***

3. Wall/ Car Outlet - Seems weird coming after the external battery talk, but if you've read my other old post about electronics, you'll see that I tend to be prepared. Besides one of our hot spots on campus does have outlets as do many a restaurants.

4. Charging Cord - I've noticed more recently with my Galaxy S7 that the quality of the charging cord is really starting to matter. My trusty 10 ft cheapo is seriously slacking so I've been searching and finding some great nylon/cordy/thicker/labeled as actual fast charging thanks to my amazing BFF. So thanks to my great relationship with Amazon Prime, those should be here soon for my house, for work, and for my electronics bag that I'll throw in here.
***Cord and wall outlet are my original S7 gear***

5. Bottle of Water - Regardless if you live in the desert or not, this is key if you plan on being out for a while. There's enough trouble out in the world without people falling over with a heat stroke. So have some bottles whether they store bought, or reusable, and take you some H2O.
***Kuzi was gifted***

6. Sunblock - Again another key especially if you are out during the day. For people like me, I don't get out much outside of work during the day. And one of the things that my stylist said when she gave me my super awesome cut, was that sunblock is essential period for my newly released scalp that hasn't seen the light of day in some time. Aaaand let's be honest, most of us are adults, so act grown and put some spf on.

7. Wallet - You've already got a bag and a ton of Pokestops and restaurants are restaurants so go out and support the local economy either by yourself or with your PokeCrew.

8. Headphones - For the times that you are by yourself, a good set of headphones will keep your shields up with great musica and with an added mic, still have actual phone call making skills, you know...if you use your cell phone for actually speaking... (ba dum tss)
***Music Headphones were from Hot Topic for $8.25***

9. Chapstick/Lip Balm - it goes along with the sunblock thing. Our lips get neglected and being outside...in the elements...and the sun, nobody has time for chapped lips.
***Lip Balm from Sephora approx $8 when I bought it***

10. Google Rewards (Android) - Sorry apple users, haven't used an iPhone in a hot damn minute and I doubt it's available for you.... But anyways, check out my May Favorites for the full details on this app that lets me buy PokeCoins without really needing to spend any of my actual money.


So gather it up and pop it in your bag and go catch them all....safely of course. Because that's what this screen is for...

Some other posts that aren't game related...

Lancome Juicy Shaker review - http://bit.ly/JJuicy
My June Favorites - http://bit.ly/June16Faves
One of the Tales of the Tank aka my purse - http://bit.ly/TOTT50Cal

It's Ok to Getaway

Bad skyline of El Paso, Tx

Life gets ya down sometimes. I don’t have to tell you that because Lord knows it can be draining. And sometimes when you suck it up and endure it day after day until weeks become months, you feel like you don’t have much less to give. That’s where I’d been and it had really taken its toll. I was sick with different things at the same time before I had enough and said that I needed a break from life and some home remedies, read about that here. And it came at a perfect time because my bff had an escape route of sorts.

On the road back home

He had a cousin who was getting married and it was going to be good times. And for some unknown reason I hadn’t met this part of the family before but with him being a professional photographer, there was some requests made for a few photos. I’ve also been wanting to improve my photography in general, and especially for the blog, so we had a whole 4 days set to have fun with his family, unofficially shoot a wedding in parts and the area to get me reacquainted with my Nikon and run around the city of El Paso, TX. This needed me to get a couple days off work and normally I’m a bit leery when it comes to taking days because my official vacation isn’t until October, and you’ll see that later later, but I needed a break from life and so did le bff.

Yup I fed that one and I was more stoked that the kids

A total of four days without phones ringing and professionalism and I only needed time off for two. It was great! We literally drove around the city because I know that I also have some family down in the area but they are a bit more distant and I haven’t seen them in roughly ten years so I couldn’t even tell you their names. But I got to see a lot of the parts that most people don’t think of when you think of Old El Paso and it was gorgeous. The dynamics in the city are great. We ate at restaurants and bistros we’d never heard of as well as some amazing home cooking from his aunt. And went to the zoo where I got to feed the giraffes and it was AMAZING! Sadly I still need some work on the dslr settings to get some decent photos so you have to suffer with the not greatest in-the-moment cell pictures. Sorry, but yea.

Beautiful Mocha from Dlox 

So I’ve decided that mini vacations are a definite need in my life. You can only go and go and go for so long before you really get burned out. So I wanna say to the workaholics and to myself that it’s ok to need a day or two off for your physical and mental sanity. I applaud the people who have their routines set for everything. I wish and want to be that structured in my life but right now, there are days where I’m hanging by a thread. Now I’m thinking about doing some planning and see how I can fit in maybe a stay-cation. 

Fairy Garden at a nursery we went to just because

#ROCKTHECROPTOP or in My Case....#DeerintheHeadlights

So if for some reason you haven't heard about it, I'm not sure where you've been. I saw it first on the Instagram and a hashtag later, it was instantly everywhere. O Magazine, the literature of the one and only Oprah, the spawn of one of the most powerful women alive had a pretty big hiccup for the world to see. Set the dramatic scene of a fifties cop interrogation room, black and white, bright light bulb in yo face!

The question, "Can I pull off a crop top?"

It could have gone many ways and the way it went, well you can imagine after seeing...

"If (and only if) you have a flat stomach...." And the internet blew up.

Body shaming is getting to be an increasingly hot topic. Be it fat shaming, skinny shaming, shaming shaming, it's everywhere. And it's brought out an amazing amount of wonderful women in all shapes and sizes throwing out the #ROCKTHECROPTOP tag, One being Gorgeous in Grey, (love reading her stuff).

I don't blame people for being outraged, uncomfortable, and offended. Part of me does too, but honestly only part. The other part wants to agree for all the wrong reasons.

After reading a lot of responses to the O Magazine Crop-gate, Carrie Bradshaw really wondered how I felt about it. I have never worn a crop top in my life. My dad is super conservative when it comes to the amount of skin I show. If I have on a camisole, then I need pull it up to show less cleavage, which is not easy with DD doggies, and try to not have my bra straps show so much. Strapless tops could only be worn around the house and if I thought about going outside to the laundry room, I had "better put a shirt on". Even I got older and became more comfortable with my size, I never considered a crop top. When they came back in style, I thought well that's cute but just not for me.

FIRST Problem, I had never tried to wear one. There's a quite a few ways to wear them and I am 0 to 100+. So in my mind, this doesn't even count as an excuse, but here it is.

SECOND Problem, I don't think that it would look good on me. First go back to the first problem, and add this to it. Even though I am comfortable with my size, I am still having some issues. I was used to wear my loss and gains usually went and that was to my hips and thighs, but not so much my mid section. Now...not so much the case and I can be open with the fact that it's an area I need to work on in my own way and in my own time.

THIRD Problem, there are things in life that sometimes help or hurt you. In my little equally as conservative town, there's a certain way to act in and outside of work. In my current position, I find myself seeing a lot of my customers even outside of work and I refuse to not be my bright and shiny self. But on the other hand, I don't want to talk about work. When I leave then I am no longer obligated to drop everything and take care of someone else's needs. But I also can't be rude because duh, mama didn't raise no fool. But I can still say that my confidence has taken a bit of a dip because being ON, for a lack of better words, is exhausting and I can't be me and I'm slowly retreating towards an old shell I had for a long time.

So while all these beautiful people are peeking that tummy, I'm in my head saying, "but I wear layers on a daily basis." I am usually wearing 2+ tops. I think my max was 4 tops and a jacket. And I've been doing that since high school to help smooth things out before I found shape wear and then actually bought shape wear. It makes me nervous, hence my deer in the headlights looks because yes, there is a part of me that says "YES, I have to get in this." Then I have to pull my fist pump down from the air and whisper, "but you don't have a crop top and probably wouldn't wear it anyway..." Not a nice thought. Gonna have to get this duck in a row as well. (Which if you don't know, was my last post so check that out too)

All in all, shoutout to the ladies who are bold and confident enough to rock the hell out of the crop top and you guys are my inspiration to get to that point, because it is doable, right?

On A Scale of 1 - Even, I Can't Even

This past weekend I can't begin to tell you how excited I was. My boyfriend, knowing the nerd I am, decided we should go to a sing-a-long movie viewing of Pitch Perfect. Talk about aca-awesome. Not to mention it's our first trip of the year so it makes up for the few bad days I've already had. That night was nice, we ate, we drank, I sang my heart out and quoted nearly every word as did the rest of the room. Come to think of it I'll probably have a post about it a little later but for now.....

So the next day was just easy. Window shopped and did a little actual shopping, a little more than I should have, but then I ran into these at Forever 21. Stopped me dead in my tracks and now here we are.

My first initial thought was, "Is this some kind of joke?" I hoped and prayed it wasn't just on the plus size end and thankfully it wasn't. But honestly, how appealing are these? When did this become a thing and me apparently not get the memo?? They had a manikin or two dressed up in them where they tried to make it work and I give them kudos for trying but the only time I like wearing pants with an elastic waist band is in bed or at the gym. I know I'm lazy but this just takes it to a new level that is just beyond me.

I remember when I was younger and sometimes the only thing we could find to fit me were pants like this. But in my now, then, small town didn't have any resources let alone internet that wasn't dial up. Plus size clothes weren't where they are now and online shopping was all but the devil trying to get my parents card number and to top it off, dial-up. Nuff said. But the point is that I remember never feeling comfortable in them while everyone else in my class were wearing 'hip huggers'. I was already teased and ignored for being too smart and pants like this didn't help my twelve year old self to fit in.

Maybe it's just me and my bad memories of this but in my mind, fashion has come to far and yet things like this still make me feel like we are trying to be put back in our place. All I have to say about that is go ahead and try.

Goal Clothes....Friend or Foe?

One of the many things that happens at work where 98% of us are women are the conversations. We are such an observant species that it just boggles my mind that we can agree and yet disagree about everything. I could get on a platform stage of a soap box the size of Carnegie Hall and break the walls down but I will step back and try to see this a few ways.

So I'm sure that everyone around this time of year has the annual Christmas parties. Some are extravagant with cocktail dresses and martinis and high heels and sneaky trips to the utility closet. They are filled with music and extravagant white elephant gifts with Christmas bonus declarations. Then there are some Christmas parties with both sides of the family getting together and everything goes wrong due to a squirrel and an untrained dog with a really lame Christmas bonus causing Cousin Eddy to go and kidnap your boss and deliver him in the middle of the living room with a giant red bow followed by an entire swat team coming in from every angle causing more damage than really necessary. Well I've never had either of those parties. We have pot lucks and leftovers for days.

I can understand that especially around the Holidays some people don't care about the amount of calories or carbs that happen and then there are some who decide to go on a diet right before the holidays. It's no secret that I've always been the biggest woman at work. But something that we all have at my place of work is our own sense of style. We like what we like and while recently some have been exiled from our dress code and from my work wardrobe, the topic of jeans come up.

Now depending on where you live, if you live in our west, dressing up can and often includes your nicest pair and best fitting jeans. Denim is practically in our blood and you don't ever let you go of them. Break out the Lord of the Rings meme,

Unless patching or sewing them back together doesn't hold both pieces of denim together, you wear the HELL out of them. But anyways, the whole point I'm trying to make is that somewhere in a drawer or in the back of the closet is that one pair. That one pair of jeans that you convince yourself if even for the smallest amount of time that you will fit back into. Miranda does it in Sex and the City, and from the sounds of it, every girl at work has one........but me.

Now don't get me wrong, I get the point of having goal jeans or goal clothes. Hanging up the bikini the first of January to get ready for "swimsuit season". And maybe the article of clothing holds some awesome memories that you want to try to reanimate? Maybe you felt the best about yourself in that particular article of clothing. Don’t get me wrong, I had them at one point in time. They weren't jeans but it was a pair of capris that I wore in Junior High......Junior high. I held onto them until I got to college and then I let them go.

It dawned on me that I didn't want to be that particular size, not because it was an unrealistic size goal, but a problem I tend to have is to live in the past. You can look at any person in my family and we will always talk about days gone by, the shoulda, woulda, coulda's and I just didn't want to do it anymore. It actually did the opposite of the motivation that so many others use it for. It made me realize that over time I have actually gone in the opposite direction of where I 'wanted' to be and I would look at the current me at whichever point in time I found those clothes and I felt terrible. Gut wrenching, Lifetime movie tear jerking terrible about the size I had become. So where I can see the point of the 'goal clothes', it is just a no go for me.

Cece Olisa from Plus Size Princess really put it into perspective for me in one of her posts about realizing that our size and our health is not on an annoying tag on the back of a shirt or jeans. It’s not about the number, it’s how we feel in what fits. Fits your shape, your personality and makes you feel like a million bucks. I don’t feel the need for ‘goal clothes’ but to each their own.

Here I am

It doesn't get too much more New Mexican than a Zia shirt. Just saying