Hello, I'm Shrill Too

So Shrill has hit the Hulu and I had no idea. I was on the Instagram as one does after the Grampocalypse that, at least was, for me, just slightly annoying but some people really lost they shiz. But one of the peeps I follow, Marge Hudson aka @areyoutheregoditsmemarge, opened my eyes to what is happening on the interwebs and I had to be apart of it.

Thankfully, I have a day off of work and was planning on totally and completely taking advantage of it. So I had to see what was going and oh my sweet eleven pound baby Jesus, this was phenomenal! The main character is Annie, Aidy Bryant, and she is the me and the many others who have gone through anything similar who doesn't fit in a sample size. It was shocking and beautifully done. I also want so much to have a Fran, Lolly Adefope, in my life just FYI. 

From episode one, the story is on the move and things are moving very quickly. But I could relate to this show if you haven't figured that out. Now, I don't know if her wardrobe was modestly chosen on purpose because she likes it but feels the need to 'cover up' or what. I just watched the season and here I am so don't @ me. However comma, I felt it because I know in high school, I drove my bff and my mom crazy because my standard wardrobe were jeans and a t-shirt of darker tones. I upped my makeup and accessory game where I could but always double guessing affections from the opposite sex. I mean, hell, who hasn't been called a flipper when your supposedly bisexual boyfriend cheats on you with a guy friend? (For the record, I was the last girl he had as a girlfriend and there's no confusion about the intentions in hindsight and in true Ariana fashion, I'm thankful for him because I now have my ride or die, my person, my best friend for life who is also his ex.) 

I've had the thoughts where I've thought that a going-on-the-back-door-better-than-nothing feeling was as good as it was going to get. And the mental change that Annie has starts to resonate as the season goes on and that is something that some people have at different times in life and if someone hasn't, I have a feeling that it will help someone get to that point to where they can start loving themselves and stop apologizing for taking space in the world.

Even now with my new position, I'm again the biggest person in the building of about a dozen-ish and while it's not intentional most of the time, it's noticed that one does not belong or one does not mesh. Even our personalities are quite a bit different and I've seen clients do a double take for crying out loud. 

So it's there, it's not just a show catering to the plus sized community about empowerment but it's also shows the ugly parts that come with it. It happens and people on the internet are cruel but confronting enemies in person, you find how much they hate themselves because you don't have to hate you and they can't handle it. Let that sink in, they, who hate you, can't handle you loving yourself because the standards of the world have always said that you shouldn't, so they don't. Can it still hurt? Abso-f*cking-lutely. Can it suck that your crush in school calls you a hog to your face and your choice is to cry or pull it together and attack verbally because you are not about to be suspended? Hell to the yea. But here we are, being represented anyway on the internet in a show that will definitely take off because in case you haven't been bombarded, the average size of a woman in the US is 14 or 16, can't remember at the moment but it's not a 2. There are more of us than they know what to do with so someone has decided that if you can't beat them, because let's be honest they can't keep us down if they tried, join them and realize that we are human and we are not going away. We are gorgeous. We are fashionable and stylish. We can and deserved to be loved for who we are regardless of our size. We will stand and bring each other up more than those who are determined to bring us down. 

So I will add that this to a couple other faves in my book that remind me that I'm here and need to live my best life with the good and bad because it's all I got:

Also a book - Just saying...

Gumption - nuff said

And it's a book. You can bet your butt I'm buying and reading!

Also thank you Marge, I sent you a DM about it, but I wanted to do it again because I've also not posted on my blog since, like, August and my first thought was to do this. I'm going to ride this euphoria as long as I can. Until I can get more up, look at some of my older stuff.

B3 is my motto - http://bit.ly/The3BBBz

Adulting - http://bit.ly/Adultwin

Follow me on Blogloving if you wanna - http://bit.ly/MyBloglovinPg

OR

on the Insta since it's back up - http://bit.ly/MyIgJazz

 

Bra Talk

There are days...... and then there are days where circumstances dictate what has to happen for that day. As a plus sized woman, there are certain standards that society will always be violated and for those that are offended, sorry your life sucks. It took me a long time to be comfortable with myself and every now and then, sometimes I gotta smack myself and remind myself that I’m fabulous. I had one of those moments this morning.

Aside from being B3 (Big, Bad, and Beautiful), I have always enjoyed the size of my chest, my bust, my rack of power if you will. I was a B cup in 6^th grade and have only leveled up from there. But like any great power comes greater responsibility and I take it very seriously in the bra department. These girls need the support to be properly and tastefully on display and for that, I don’t mind spending a decent amount of money on quality bras from Lane Bryant. Nothing against Victoria’s Secret, but they don’t carry my size in store and if I’m going to spend an arm and a possible leg on bras, I want to be able to try them on before I buy them so thank you Lane Bryant for taking my money willingly in exchange for great bras that don’t stop working and are pretty too.

Since learning about and dealing with my new disease, I’ve been trying to keep an open mind and a closed wallet, however, my biggest complaint about losing weight is that my bras don’t fit right. I prefer padded and underwired and anyone who wears this combo knows that if it doesn’t fit, you will most likely be in pain. And I have been because with all the changes happening to my body and lifestyle, I can’t afford to replace them and then find out that I’d need to change them again. So I went to the only store I would and could go to and made a choice to try a bandeau bra slash bralette.

maurices carries straight sizes and plus size bralettes!

I’ve seen them everywhere on the interwebs and they are all the rage, but I’ve always been under the impression that they weren’t for me because I’ve normally seen them on smaller women with smaller busts. Finding these in my size at maurices was a surprise and a sign to bite the bullet and not knock it til I try it, especially considering these cost, literally, a third of what I would pay for a regular bra.

With the inflammation in my joints, there are some days where I can’t put on a bra because my hands can’t and won’t grip it. So here I am trying these little barely padded, no wire, basically tube tops and half of me is wanting to smack myself for going out in public for fear of rejection and ridicule. The other half was the half I listened to because I was able to mentally smack myself harder with the fact that if it feels good and it looks good, then it could be a beautiful relationship.

This style is cute and probably the most comfortable thing to wear on my ta-tas

And guess what? As I'm writing this.... this is my first day not just wearing it in public, but at work in a professional atmosphere and so far it feels wonderful.  I’m comfortable and the girls aren’t going wild without wires. My mind is going, if it feels great now, what about in other outfits for regular wear like sleeveless, razorbacks, scoop necks, off the shoulder, spaghetti straps, etc????? The possibilities are endless so take it from me, take a chance and try it, whatever ‘it’ may be.



And in the mean time, catch up on some of my other posts....

Smell Good Stuff - http://bit.ly/2vT879v

June in Summertime - http://bit.ly/2uD9o4o

Modern Window Shopping - http://bit.ly/2sG527o

Calm Your Tits! Seriously...

Ok so I need to get this out because somebody out in the interweb of haterland let their cheese slide off their cracker. I came across a post that I initially just gazed and scrolled and immediately had to take a double take and scroll back.

Reasons why small boobs are better than big boobs

Insult me all you want but when you start talkin about the girls, the Rottweilers with no names, the tata’s, the balls that are bigger than guy’s balls then you’ve just insulted my soul. I was ready to tear this stupid post apart! But honestly their arguments had no meat to it. (pun intended)

Their supposed reasons to shame the chests that hold the power to the universe included remarks like:

·       You can wear different bras – obviously notating the lack of variety that tends to be in larger sizes (who would have thought about that). My solution is stop trying to find bras at Wal-Mart. Victoria Secret doesn’t carry my bra size but I invest my hard working money into wonderful, quality, beautiful, patterned, solid, nude, lacy and racy bras from Lane Bryant and am really wanting to try the bras at Torrid.

·      Popping out- busty girls like myself always get this. Because some of us are more endowed than others, we automatically become unclassy, unprofessional and/or cheap when it comes to rocking a low cut anything. And then there are times where it’s not low cut and they can still runneth over, but most times that’s not the plan.  All I can say is that if I want you to see them, then you’ll see them. That doesn’t make me ‘whorrable’, it’s confidence.

·       Perky – noting that gravity is terrible and causes a lot of changes to take place throughout life. But here’s the kicker about this guys. Over time, we become older and all of us tends to sag in places we don’t want them too. (and if you didn’t read this with sarcasm, take a second and reread it please) It’s about health. If you take care of your ta ta’s when you’re younger along with the rest of yourself, then you’ll be just fine. My grandmothers are in their seventies and saggy girls are not an option.

·         Man attention – the particular caption was in reference to the distracting nature of the glorious beasts and the effects they can have on the opposite sex. But trying to say that I can never get a guy to make eye contact with me because he’s looking at my chest is like saying that a movie is better than the book it was based off of. Sometimes they stare yes, and sometimes they don’t. But last I checked, for those who stared, it was because you have breasts and carry two X chromosomes. I won’t lie to you and say that bigger boobs won’t get more attention, but another way to see it is that you gots da power! Over yourself, over that particular situation, over whether to get offended or to turn the tables in your favor.

·         Hard Life – throwing in struggles about back problems, the horrors of sports bras. And unfortunately yes there are women everywhere who struggle with their chest area. Some can afford to change that and some just make it with the hand they’re dealt. Sports bras are necessary for workouts or really anywhere that the dogs gotta be tied down. I don’t know of any woman with big or small titties that works out without one. There is a place and time to be wild and free, and the gym is not one of those times.

I got through the entire post with a giant ? on top of my head. Big boobs aren’t a death sentence and neither are small boobs. People with boobs have these problems regardless of size. So I really don’t know if maybe some sights are just really struggling for something to grab attention or what, but really internet, be original. If you want to bring the busty chests down to bring the small boobies up, don’t because they’re equal in the amount of pros and cons. There are people with bulldogs who’d rather have Chihuahuas and vise versa. I, myself, have always loved my bust. I weep for the breast cancer survivors because I can’t imagine my life without my chest and they do it every single day. I tip my hat and heart to them and to this dumb post, I can’t even bring myself to post the link, because obviously whoever is writing for you has some self-confidence issues. Put on some Demi with her Confident song and get over it and love what your mama gave ya.

Phat Girls

Ok ready the soap box ladies, I need to ascend. Now I understand that due to technology and laziness, the human mind has a tendency to go blahhhhhhh *cue drool*. So many people do not have an imagination or just are at a lack of words. I can’t narrow that down to just men, because it’s women too. Maybe it’s because I see myself as creative or maybe I’m just a smart a$$, but I’ve also seen where different people, especially women, don’t approve of being described as plus size. It’s a matter of preference, yes, but I am also not the type of person to say don’t call me fat because it’s bullying or offensive.

Honestly, I don’t know why some people don’t like to be called plus size, but I can only imagine that it goes hand in hand with my distaste for the description of “chubby”.  When I hear chubby, I picture a child or toddler who hasn’t lost their baby fat or a kid who doesn’t know better. It’s also said to me with a tone of pity and shame and I’m not ok with that. I know I have mentioned it before about being the biggest woman at work, that’s a given. It’s not a shame, it just is. So when I ask customers if they remember which person they talked to, it’s either the lady in the big office, the corner office, the one in the middle and the chubby one…..see the difference yet???

I understand that my size is the first thing people see when they see me, but come one people! Have you no other way to describe a person? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t need a customer to call up and describe me as bodacious or voluptuous, because that is super weird and creepy. I know I’m big, you know I’m big. If you feel the need to address someone by their size, keep it short and simple, say big or bigger. It’s not derogatory, it just is. I’m big, as captain obvious may say, so don’t think you’re doing anyone favors when dancing around words and round arm gestures to describe a person. Open up a thesaurus for crying out loud.